"I hate that i'm still hoping" Yugbam

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I woke up to the sound of my blaring alarm clock, I checked the time and it read 4:37am.

I dragged myself out of my cozy bed and went straight to the bathroom I stripped off my Pikachu pajama pants and my underwear and hopped in the shower turning the water on hot letting the warm water run over my body. after 30 minutes I got out of the shower and put on some black jeans and a tan fuzzy sweater. I got myself some food, sat down on my couch and started checking my phone to see if I had any notifications from the previous night.

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2 message from my baby<3

4 Instagram notifications

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I opened up the texts from Bambam before even thinking about seeing who started following me

my heart started racing as I read the words displayed on the screen in front of me

my baby<3: hey i'm sorry i'm writing this in a text but, i feel like we have drifted apart and i'm sorry but i feel like your not the one for me, i want to stay friends... like how we were before we had feelings for each other, i dont want our friendship to change and i dont wanna lose you either but i just dont feel the same way anymore, i'm sorry. 

my baby<3: were breaking up...sorry:(

I couldn't even think, and i couldn't see anything past the tears in my eyes, my hands started trembling and my body felt stiff and sore, "why?" i sobbed "why me, and why now?" I questioned, "why does he still want to be friends?" I thought to me self while clutching my shirt so hard my knuckles turned white, my face was red and covered in tears when I felt my phone vibrate, mark was calling, I looked up at the ceiling and wiped my tears away still hiccuping when I inhaled and shaking when i exhaled. I answered the call after the 3rd ring "h-hello?" I hiccuped "yug, whats wrong? why are you crying?" he said his voice sounding panicky "uhm, c-can you just come over~" I couldn't hold in my sobs any longer I just let it out. - "me and mark had been friends for 10 years and he was the first one I came out to, hes my best friend, he would never hurt me unlike some people- " "yeah, just dont pass out. breath and drink some water, bye yug~" "bye" I said as I let out a loud cry. he hung up and I let my phone fall onto the carpeted floor. I felt bad for not listening to him but i didn't take deep breaths and i didn't get water, i didn't even get up from my couch I just sat there and cried thinking about all the good times me and bambam had together "was it all fake? fake smiles? fake laughter? fake love?" i sat up, grabbed my phone off the floor and opened messages, it opened to bambam's  i started to type with shaky hands. and tears blurring my vision.

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me: it's oka/

i deleted that.

me: Hey Bam, i'm broken but you didn't break me. i broke me. because i believed in a love that wasn't real. i hurt my self. its my fault, i should have been a better boyfriend but if you have found somebody better I will try too, i just learned that people leave even when they promised a thousand times they wont"  

i sent it

me: "we can still be friends just not like how we were before"

i sent it

my baby<3 read at 5:21am

I went into contacts and changed his name to BamBam letting tears fall onto my lap as i deleted the words 'my baby<3' from my phone. as i finished what i was doing i knock came to my door. 'Its mark' i thought as a slight smile spread across my face.

to be continued 

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Sorry if this is bad, this is my first time writing a Got7 Fanfic even though i have liked them for 4 years. i will be continuing this book and i will try to keep the chapters somewhat short Thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed!

707 words (sorry for any spelling errors)