Never the Black Girl

Chapter 34

Lionel raced off towards anywhere but where he was at the moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Tabitha, because God knows he did. But, he just didn’t think he was ready to take a baby into consideration. Was that even something he was capable of doing? He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t like to be unsure about something as serious as a baby.

These thoughts raced through his head as he drove on. When he came out of his thought bubble, he realized that he didn’t quite know where he was. So, he parked and continued to think.

Was Tabitha nervous about all this? She didn’t seem like she was. But, who knows. She could be hiding it. But he had become very good at telling whether she was truly feeling some way or not. He felt very lost.

For what seemed like hours, Lionel mulled over different scenarios of how the baby would turn out and how he would discipline it. Would it be a girl? Or a boy? Would they be precious? Or mean? The deeper he went, the more infuriated he got. Why did he have to get himself and Tabitha into a mess like this. They weren’t ready to be parents. He barely knew how to keep himself under control.

Lionel’s stomach began to growl, so he decided to stop somewhere to get something to eat. He started his car and started driving until he found a fast food restaurant. He got out of the car, and walked into the place. At this time, it was mighty late and not too many people were in there. The only people he saw, were six grown men, with babies in their laps, eating and talking. Lionel wondered what they were all up to. He ordered his food and sat down close to where they were sitting, to see if he could overhear something. One of the older ones asked a question: “What’s one thing you all regret?”

Different answers came out from this question. Most of them however were along the lines of “I wish I hadn’t tried to run away from my son/daughter.”

“And what has this taught you?” He asked.

“That even though you’re scared of something, that doesn’t always mean it’s a bad thing. You can be scared for a job interview, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get the job. Oh geez, I hope that made sense…What I’m saying is, we should always just look at the bright side and try something new and just be excited for life, especially new life.” A scrawny man said, playing with his son once he was finished.

After a little while, Lionel figured out that this was a meeting. Like, a Daddy Meeting or something. Without knowing it, he stayed until the end, listening to the answers, pondering the questions. He found this whole thing interesting and thought-provoking. He liked it. When he was sure that it was over, he walked over to the scrawny man.

“Hi.” He said, fiddling with his shirt edges.

“Why hello there. I noticed you stayed for the whole meeting..looking to join?” He asked, smiling.

“No, but I did find your conversation very neat to hear. What is this club about?” He asked.

“This club is about regretful dads, it’s kinda sad. But, it’s informative. We meet once a month to talk about the things we regret about our children.” He said, explaining. “And by the looks of how long you’ve stayed you’re either trying to avoid being a regretful dad or you ARE a regretful dad.”

“Well, I guess I’m hoping not to be one…I don’t really know. I just found out about an hour and a half ago that my girlfriend is pregnant. I didn’t know what to do, so I-“

“Drove until you got lost. Yeah, we all do that. Here, let me tell you a story…” He said, sitting down in the booth.

After a couple hours in the restaurant, talking to the scrawny man who’s name was Jerry, Lionel found that being scared about becoming a dad was natural, but not necessary. He had learned a lot of things, and he was grateful to Jerry. What a coincidence!

Night began to fall and Lionel figured that he might as well find his way back home. So, he pulled his phone out and typed in his address and made his way to his car and down the windy roads and streets.

When he arrived at the house, he got out of the car and walked to the door. There were screams coming from inside and it scared him. He fumbled for his keys and shakily shoved them into the key hole. He turned the nob precariously, and walked inside. It had gotten quiet, like the noise had heard him and died down. All the sudden, he heard loud thumps from upstairs. Tabitha appeared at the top of the stairs, looking more scared than he had seen her in a while. She had a phone to her ear and tears running down her cheeks. She ran down the stairs, and fell into his chest. Lionel didn’t know what was wrong, but he held her anyway.

“No, that’s okay. He just came through the door. Thank you. Bye-bye now.” She said, hanging up the phone and beating him in the chest with her free hand. She began to cry into his chest, sniffling and continuing to beat him.

“Where WERE you??” She asked, frantically looking into his eyes.

He looked into hers and found nothing but fear and relief that he was back. Her eyes were red, so he could tell that she had been crying for a while. His lips formed a straight line as he brought her into his embrace again, putting his chin on the crown of her head. “I went out. I thought Aaron told you. Of course, I wasn’t expecting to be gone this long, but I got lost along the way.” He said, kissing her forehead. “Were you worried about me?”

Tabitha looked at him, trying to gather herself. “I thought you had found out I was pregnant and then decided you didn’t love me anymore.” She said, breaking down again. Lionel looked at her, tears strewn down her face and he couldn’t help but have one tear slide down his cheek. “Oh shit, now look at me..” He said, wiping it away. “I would NEVER run from what we have. I just needed to clear my head. I was really confused about a lot of things and I needed some time to think. I had no intention of leaving, sweetheart. I love you too much.” He said, smiling at her.

“Good, because I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” She said, hugging him tight.

Lionel chuckled and picked her up, placing a kiss on her cheek. “And I’d be lost without you. I was lost without you..” He walked into the family room and laid Tabitha on the couch, sitting down next to her.

“How about we spend the night together, right here?” He asked, turning the TV on.

“Sounds good to me.” She said, snuggling up under him.

“I love you, babe.” He whispered, into her ear.

Tabitha pushed her shoulders up to protect her ears and giggled thoroughly. “D-don’t doo thaaat!” She sat up and looked at him.

“What? I do!” He said, grabbing her chin and connecting lips with her.

“I love you too.” She said, snuggling up to him once again. 

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We have to find an ending to this story, because 34 chapters is absolutely too long...It's time for this story to enndd!!!!