Thoughts of an Awkward Teenage Girl

An Armadillo Ate My Boyfriend???

1:57am - 27th October

Okay, so here's the deal... I haven't updated this book for ages because year 12 (my final year of high school, for those unfamiliar with the Australian school system) decided to take a big ol' dump on me. I have been so stressed and haven't even had the energy required to OPEN the Wattpad app.
AND, my final exams (which will be the ones that I need to do well in so I can get into the university I want) are starting in just over a week... Which would be fine if I was prepared... Hahah. Yeah. About that. I have NOT studied and I'm regretting it BIG TIME. To make matters worse, a little while ago when I was at an open day at the university I DESPERATELY WANT TO GET INTO I bought a school t-shirt and have been wearing it to bed many, many nights. And now I just know my luck - I won't get into the uni and will forever have a t-shirt of a school that I never got accepted into and it will forever remind me of my failure as a student and as a person. Hahah. Hah.
But anyway, I think it's about time I updated you on the chaos that is my life (because why would I be sleeping? It's only 2 IN THE MORNING HAHAH).
Honestly, I don't remember what I've told you already because it has been 17 million years, but first I'm gonna talk about the blue-eyed boy. Long story short, we hadn't talked since year 7, I rekindled something by gathering the balls to text him after our school camp this year, he asked me on a date and then proceeded to bail the day before. Oh, and despite our texting being on and off (meaning talk for a week, ignore for 3 more) and that we would never actually talk in real life, he asked me to be his girlfriend immediately after a period of 3 weeks not talking. I responded that I was flattered and tempted to say yes, but thought things were moving pretty DAMN QUICKLY.
And can I just get an applause for my restraint here, because I definitely made the right decision... And I was SO TEMPTED BECAUSE HE'S SO ATTRACTIVE!! LIKE A FRIGGEN GREEK STATUE!
So let me tell you about why it was such a great decision...
One day, after going to an animal exhibition at my city's museum, I was reminded of how much I LOVE armadillos and pangolins (which you should look up documentaries about if you haven't yet been blessed by these beautiful creatures).
And so, we had just rekindled our conversation the day before (after probably a month not talking) and so I decided I was gonna be cute and send him cute armadillo pics.
He seemed to be getting slightly offended by these pictures, but I couldn't imagine why, so I kept sending them. He kept like threatening to block me if I didn't stop sending them (not like I was spamming him), but I thought he was joking because we'd often joked around by blocking the other previously. So he blocked me 3 times and STILL I thought he was kidding, until he suddenly just says, 'I'm tired, goodnight' at like 10pm even though he usually sleeps at like 2am.
So obviously I know something is up, because this interaction was really strange and, frankly, he was being really weird and rude and threatening in the way he was texting. I ask him if he's okay, the next day he said he's fine.
I asked him again like 2 weeks later, and he said the reason for him acting strangely and kind of mean was that he 'really didn't like them animals'.. Um okay WHAT?
This is where I have a mental breakdown because of school, and decided that I don't need people in my life that get offended by armadillos. Throughout this entire year I have had so many doubts about him and whether I should keep going after him because he has often been draining and left me feeling upset or inadequate in some way. I always knew I was almost a place-holder (even if he actually never realised it) for the girl he really liked (and who liked him back) and didn't have the courage to ask her out. Like, they so obviously want to be together, and before he asked me on a date the first time he even admitted his feelings for her were 'complicated'.
So, I haven't talked to him for 2 weeks now, and am planning on focusing on myself and my studies until my exams are over.
Anyway, I was going to write something else or maybe go back over what I've already written to spell check, but it's now 2:24am and I think I'm going to pass out, so I'll leave both of those for now.
Goodnight and goodbye to you all! It was good getting to update you after so very very long.
Ella x