8TEEN | IT ONE SHOTS

tell me it's okay [stenbrough]

prompt: four years after their first battle with pennywise, stan struggles to deal with the aftermath.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: self harm, blood, depression
a/n: is way more depressing than intended oop

Staring at the ceiling above him, Stan's alarm clock blinks red, reminding him of just how bad his insomnia has been hitting lately. 3:06 AM, it reads, flashing over and over in the corner of his eye to the point where he only closes his eyes to get away from it's relentlessness.

Closing his eyes proved to be a bad idea. Suddenly it's darker behind his eyelids, faint bumpy outlines on the walls like rocks and the sound of rushing water is louder, more prominent...

"Beverly?" It's Stan's voice as he calls out his friends name, the rest of the losers are behind him but their voices feel further than he thought. He turns back to face his friends upon hearing something and is suddenly submerged in darkness once again. He's no longer with the losers. How did he get here? Where are his friends? They wouldn't abandon him, right?

Stan doesn't have much time to contemplate the possibilities of what just happened as a sudden noise causes him to jump and drop his flashlight onto the cement of the sewers. He supposed he had always been jumpy, but the circumstance they are currently in isn't making it any easier.

"Bev? Is that you?" He calls out again, taking a step forward, the flashlight beside him illuminating the furthest corner of the clearing. There's a figure, body contorted into an inhuman shape, face turned away from him. Stan feels his heart drop as the creature stands, much taller than humanly possible, turning to face him. He takes one step backward, then another, heart hammering painfully against his ribcage and threatening to bust out. The figure turns then and there she is, only it isn't Bev.

She's smiling at him wickedly, razor sharp teeth bared and eyes nothing but balls of white. Stan turns to run, eyes wild with fear, running smack into something oddly cold and hard.

She is standing before him. Stan doesn't give himself time to overthink how she got there so fast, opening his mouth to scream when a gray, boney, grimy hand covers his mouth.

"Quiet, Stanny Boy. Wouldn't want to worry the others, would we? Though, they never truly cared about you, did they? Why else would you be in here with us? They left you to die, all alone." Stan slumps back, knees buckling but barely keeping him standing. He whimpers against the hand covering his mouth, eyes screwing shut.

He struggles to step backward, feet shuffling against the floor when suddenly there's another hand at the back of his head, holding him in place. He opens his eyes, slowly, and immediately regrets it. His vision becomes fuzzy, the only thing in his sight are three balls of light, swirling together, moving effortlessly around one another.

Suddenly he feels weightless, like he's floating. His vision returns to black, nothing appearing for a while. It should terrify him because he's gone blind but the wave of calm that washes over him provides a comforting moment.

Suddenly there's a burst of light, white and brighter than anything he's ever seen. His head is presented with a million different images, flashing through his head. Blood, gore, teeth and claws, a feeling he couldn't place taking over his mind. He can hear their screams.

The screams of his friends.

Another flash of light shows them all dead, slashed to pieces all along the floors of the sewers. Richie, Mike, Beverly, Eddie, Ben, and Bill. He looks closer, his own slashed body laying somewhere in the corner.

A touch to his hand makes Stan jolt upright and a scream leaves his lips, glancing frantically around him at the faces of his friends who are all trying to console him and cease the screams falling from his mouth.