Paper Cranes: And the Multitude of Folds

2

I don't know why I choose the friends that I do. I find that when I look for friends it's like trying to create a Senbazuru. However, as soon as I stop looking, stop trying to fold all of them myself, I suddenly have a multitude.

People come alongside similar people, whose lives become stringed together in one way or another. That's how the first "love of my life" came along. He taught me that love isn't as easy or simple as I thought it was. At the age of ten nothing is as easy or simple or innocent as you think it is.

I spent the first few years at my new church without any solid friends. I had a couple guy friends but you don't intermix genders in middle school. You hang with your sex and that's that. The young mind of the typical elementary schooler is, primarily, sexist.

There were three of us. Me, Max, and Jack. The three musketeers. They were my best friends, spending every waking moment together and causing all kinds of trouble for our parents.

But, Jack was a special case. Smooth and witty, he had my heart from day one. He used to walk with me, at the age of ten this meant around the block a couple of times, and he would make me laugh. I gave my heart to him gladly, overly trusting, overly caring; I let him play with it for six years.

It eventually got to the point where Max didn't really fit in our group anymore. The group of three was becoming two. I remember the day I realized that Max was feeling pushed out. I had a nickname. Hanabeth, based off of the book series Percy Jackson, and Jack was called Seaweed brain, the nickname Annabeth gives Percy Jackson in the series. Max came up to us and said, "What is my name going to be?"

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"Noodle Brain." He said with a smile on his face. You look at Jack and he smiles...You know that you guys will laugh about the name later. You feel bad for Max, who is obviously clueless. You don't want him to take time from you and your first love. But he is the one who will pick up the pieces and you will be eternally grateful.

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Jack taught me the meaning behind the actions and words that take place when you fall in love for the first time. He was the first one to tell me I was pretty, hot, the first one to hold my hand, my gaze, my pride. He understood me and my writing, I would write him and he would write me, an amazing "love story" that lasted until he realized that he was above me.

I wasn't very popular and he wanted to be. Suddenly I was in love and he wasn't. But he wanted to have me, objectify me. He put me on the back burner, only using me when he needed to switch me out for whatever he had burned the week before.

It wasn't until Jack left me for someone better that I realized who my real friends were. Max stuck by me, dried my tears and helped me move on with my life. He didn't care how popular I was or who I hung out with.

"You are better than him. Life will turn out okay."

His words helped me get out of the slump and eventually cut Jackson off completely. Sadly, both him and his family.

Self-respect was something I didn't have. Or maybe I did have it but I just didn't fully understand what it looked like. I had to learn to value myself and Max and a couple of other friends encouraged me to pursue and apply that to my 16-year-old life.