I have known about self-harm ever since 7th grade because I was friends with people that have done it. that didn't mean that I loved them any less. infact it made me love them even more, because they have been through so much, and they just need love and acceptance.
it wasn't until my freshman year in high school when I finally started self-harming. during that year, my Pepere died in November he was amazing he would call me and my siblings his little monkeys I just loved him so much. that was the first funeral that I cried at and the first death that I really cried at. it wasn't until march i think that I actually started cutting. A lot was going on my older sibling was in south Korea, I was failing my English class, I was still dealing with my peperes death, I just didn't know what to do. So I grabbed my pocket knife (I still have no idea where I got it) and I did a couple of cuts on my arm, I was scared when I did it because I didn't really know what was going on so after i did it I took a shower very confused. I had no idea what I was doing and there quite a bit of blood so I didn't really know what to do.
I didn't tell anybody until May, it was at the anime club that i went to after school. one of my really good friends who i had only really known for a couple of months was going through a really rough time and i told them I don't know why I did, maybe to show them that I understood, i just really don't know.
the thing was I never really cut everyday it was more like when I was at the peek of what I could handle for stress. I don't deal with stress very well at all so that was my way of kind of dealing with it I guess.
I haven't cut since late December or Early January of 2017 I think. so yeah it's been a little bit.
I only really stopped because I didn't see the point in doing it, that's the only reason. I am still dealing with things I just don't really do anything about it anything about it anymore.
anyways if nobody told you that they loved you today know that I LOVE YOU very much and that you are a amazing human being and that you are going to be okay because you are strong. <3
YOU ARE READING
My Scars, My Story
RandomSo I randomly started writing about writing about self-harm so if you want to read it go ahead but just know that you are absolutely beautiful and amazing even if you do have self-harm scars or any scars in general.
