Debt

twenty two

selyse harrison

I thought maybe Jack might be stepping out for a few hours to get some air. But hours turned into days. It had been three nights since I saw him and I didn't know whether it was appropriate to call him. But I was worried.

It was during my third night that I realized he wasn't coming back. So I sat at the Christmas tree opening some of the things he got for me. I hadn't opened them yesterday on Christmas day because I thought he might come home, but he never did. His gifts from me also sat under the tree and I wondered if he would take the time to open them.

Opening a gift bag, my eyes shut seeing the small velvet box. I knew what it was without opening it. If I opened it I would sink into a whirlwind of tears which I've been trying to stop. So I put the ring box to the side despite how badly I wanted to open it.

Jack got me a ring.

My head went into my hands, forcing myself to ignore the stinging at the back of my eyes. These past days have been the loneliest days I've ever had. Both Kent and Davies weren't here. I wasn't sure if it was because they had family to spend their holiday with, or if it's because Jack didn't care whether I tried to leave so he told them they didn't have to be at the penthouse.

Thoughts in my head were insane. All I could think about was Jack and what he possibly could be doing. I was spiralling and nothing seemed to help keep my mind off him. Especially not opening all his gifts. He got me a ring, a beautiful designer handbag, platform heels that I've had my eyes on for a while, and a gold necklace with a J.

I got up, going up the stairs to our bedroom. I've been sleeping in my bedroom because I knew I wouldn't be able to go a night without crying. But I missed Jack and wanted a small reminder of him. So I went into his closet and pulled off my shirt to put on one of his. It smelt like his cologne.

When I was done basking in his scent, I went back downstairs to the Christmas tree. My curiosity was getting the best of me and I wanted to at least see what the ring he got me looked like. So I grabbed the ring and settled onto the couch. Looking at it was a terrible idea because I didn't know it was possible to feel even shittier than I already do. But Jack managed to get a ring that was a personification of me.

It had a beautifully large diamond. Pear cut tiny diamonds that wrapped around the band of the ring. The band itself was gold because Jack knows how much I love gold.

I shook my head as I shut my eyes. The elevators pinged open and I was scared to look. But when I finally did, I got to see Jack enter the living room where I was. Unlike myself, he looked good. He wore a fitted brown sweater with black pants and black dress shoes. He didn't say anything, but instead observed the scene. I wasn't sure if I should say something or if there was anything I could say.

"Merry Christmas," I broke the tension. He ran his tongue along his teeth, putting his hand into his pocket. "Jack, I know there's nothing I could say to fix this but-"

"So let's not waste each others time or breath," Jack spoke and I didn't realize how much I missed his voice. "Pack your things, Selyse." It was like the whole world went on pause, including my heart. Everything stopped and I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I wanted to keep calm. I didn't want to cause a scene. I wanted to keep my dignity. But all my pride was out the window.

"What do you mean?" Those were the last words I expected to hear from him. I assumed after he got his necessary space, we could come together and resolve things.

"You're going to make me spell it out for you? You're leaving," his voice brought chills to my skin. I had a million questions to ask like where I was going. But no words were forming.