To See You

Chapter 20

After Boone fell asleep, Zelda wrapped herself in his shirt and moved to sit in the chair by one of the open windows in the living room. Listening to the music from below, she had curled herself into a ball as she worried. It should be simple now. She and Boone loved each other, but something told Zelda that they were far from happily ever after.

She kept thinking of Charles and Eden. What Boone would say when he awakened and wanted to talk? How would she be able to protect herself and Eden? What if making love to Boone made everything worse? She couldn't see how loving Boone could make anything worse, but she often missed the obvious until it was too late.

"Why are you in here?" Boone asked, his voice startling Zelda. He sat in a chair across from her. Zelda took her time studying him, a shiver running through her as she remembered how his skin had felt next to hers. He had found a pair of old blue jeans that fit live a glove, and his shirtless toned chest was left bare and on full display.

"I couldn't sleep," Zelda said, forcing herself to avert her gaze from him as she laid her head on the back of the chair and looked out the window. "I'll have to leave soon."

"Why? Lucy and Zebadiah have Eden. There's no reason you can't stay all night," he insisted.

"I have nothing to wear tomorrow, and I don't relish a walk of shame after my first time. It somehow makes it feel tawdry," Zelda said honestly, unable to meet his eyes.

"About that, how...I don't understand." Boone's voice was low as if he didn't want to frighten her.

When Zelda remained silent, unable to figure out where to begin, he leaned forward and captured her hand in his.

"Tell me a secret, Zelda," he insisted as he brought her hand up to his lips. The simple action crumbled all of her defenses.

Zelda looked down at his bent head. There was something so trusting in the action that she felt safe and able to share. "I only wanted you when I was younger, but after that kiss, when I realized that I couldn't have you, I forced myself to move on, and Collin was there..."

"But, I hear a 'but' in there." Boone leaned forward.

"But he didn't really want me." Zelda shrugged again.

"How? Why? Was it Cara?" The conversation must have been as hard on him as it was on her because he jumped up from his chair, unable to sit still. That he had guessed it was Cara when she hadn't proved that she had indeed been blind.

"Some of it was Cara." Zelda swallowed around a lump in the throat. "Collin admitted she was the only woman he ever loved. It was why he killed himself. He claimed he couldn't live in a world without her in it." Zelda watched him pace and wondered what was going through his mind.

Boone stopped pacing and turned to stare at her, his mouth hanging open. "What do you mean, he killed himself, I thought he died from complications due to the accident?"

Zelda shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she realized what she had said. "No." She liked her suddenly dry lips. "He shot himself in the head." Her voice was very soft as she said the words. Would he think it was her fault?

Boone shook his head in disbelief. "I never would have thought he had it in him, although he always one for the dramatic. I'm guessing it was in part due to the Hemingway image?" His words proved that he had known Collin better than she ever had.

"What about Eden?" His eyes grew wide as he had the dawning realization that Eden couldn't be hers, at least that was what Zelda guessed he thought as she sat down hard in the chair across from her. "Was she his?"

"Yes, she was his and Cara's. Cara was pregnant at the time of the crash. They had decided to run away together. When Cara died, Collin asked me to adopt Eden, but other than that, he took no interest in her. I named her and took care of her from the moment she was born." Zelda couldn't control her voice as it broke as she thought about Charles Strauss and the threat he caused.