Better Left Unsaid

7

There was a brief moment filled only with the feeling of my lips on his.

Then, very slowly, Ben backed away from me. He didn't push me, didn't even protest, or ask me what I was doing. He just pulled away, leaning back on the headboard, his eyes wide, his face clearly showing his surprise.

"Ohh." He breathed out, understanding now mixing with the shock in his eyes.

"That's what I've been hiding from you. That's why I couldn't talk to you." I stammered out when I couldn't handle the silence any longer.

Ben just kept on staring at me, his mind working, but nothing coming out of his mouth. His face was getting harder to read by the second, and I felt a pit forming in my stomach.

"East...I..." He rubbed the back of his neck, the tears from earlier still clinging to his lashes.

"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry." I buried my face in my hands, praying that i wouldn't break down right then and there. This was all wrong. This wasn't the reaction I planned.

He sighed heavily, feet tapping against the floorboards.

"Don't be sorry. You can't help it." He sighed again, and I felt my lips trembling. He wasn't going to tell me that he liked me back. He was trying to figure out how to let me down easy.

"But I'm...I'm straight, Easton. And I don't...I don't like you. Not like that."

I shook my head, trying desperately to hold on to some scrap of my composure. I wasn't about to break down on top of all of this.

"I'm sorry, East. I can't..." I heard the emotion in his voice, and that's when i couldn't keep back my tears any longer.

I tried to choke back my sob, and the ragged sound that escaped me was beyond pathetic. Ben's arms wrapped around me instantly, but I wrenched away from his grip.

It was too much. Too soon after being rejected.

"I understand. I'll go." I felt the bed shift when he stood up, and heard his soft steps towards the door.

"I'll...call you later?"

All I couldn't manage was a sob in reply.