Feather Dark

Chapter 18

Leigh

I'm a bad person. It wasn't the first time I'd felt that way about myself; I wasn't a saint like my brother. The biggest sin Noah had probably ever committed was reading the Bible on the can.

But me; I'd slept with women I had no intention of ever calling. I wasn't above lying if it didn't hurt anyone and got me what I wanted. And I'd once drank so much, I'd vomited all over Pop's study when I staggered in there with the intention to raid his medical gear for an IV fluid bag just to avoid a hangover.

But that was small potatoes compared to my behaviour with Keira. After the waterfall, wracked with guilt, I'd sworn that I would never touch her again and that I'd find some way to atone for kissing her and taking advantage of the situation.

As I lay in my bed that night, practicing my apology to both Keira and Noah, a sibilant voice whispered inside my head. You can't stay away from her, you know. Sevic will be watching, expecting you to play both women. Ra dammit. There was a charade on the board, and I had to see it through or put us all in danger.

Caught between a rock and a hard-on, I waited for Keira outside her room the next morning. I can do this. Make out for a few minutes, put on the show, not make things any worse than they already were. I hoped I could infuse my kiss with the words I couldn't say: I know you've chosen Noah. I'm sorry. Help is coming.

Instead, I took one look at the woman I loved, and all sense rushed in the same southerly direction as my blood flow. Keira wore her hair in a high pony, her toned body poured into black yoga pants and a white sports bra. It was a simple combo, but it was how I'd fallen in love with her, the cute girl who'd fallen into my life, hanging out on my couch with snacks, working out in the basement, joking in the kitchen. Memory and lust and love overwhelmed me; I could have controlled myself, except she reached for me first, pressing her lips to mine.

Fine. If I was dammed, let me be dammed for this and I could accept that. I pulled closer, tasting her, breathing her in. My fist wrapped around that dancing ponytail as she clawed at my chest with her short nails, gripping me tightly. Kissing Keira had always felt like home, and if this was the last time I'd experience it, I would make it count.

But it wasn't the last time. The days continued to tick by, and each day brought a new opportunity to touch Keira, kiss her, be near her. I held her hand beneath the table as we ate with Blue, trailed my fingers over her back as she reached for a weapon in the gym, massaged her shoulders over drinks in the bungalow. In my black mind-basement, I was starting to wish Noah and the rest of the Squadron would never come, that we could stay in this weird forced-proximity limbo forever.

But I knew they would come eventually, and I had to keep Keira safe until that happened. Which is why when Sevic called the three of us in for a briefing, I had my Cobbe hat firmly on my head. He was comfortable in this world; Leigh was too soft.

"Hey, boy," said Blue, slapping my butt as she pushed past me to claim a seat

I growled back at her, adding a lascivious wink. "Looking good, Blue."

"You know it." She shimmied at me, her compact chest pushed up inside her tight camo tank.

Blue is your kind of girl, my brain reminded me, not for the first time. Shut up, Brain, I know it. Logically, Blue and I made sense. We had a similar energy, a shared sense of humour, and our physical chemistry was hot. When we'd kissed in the bungalow, my heart hadn't felt anything, but my body sure had.

Blue had made it pretty clear she didn't do relationships, which was probably ideal given that my heart was currently caught in a wood chipper of my own design. But I could see the two of us hooking up casually after all of this was done, once Keira was off with Noah, and I was attempting to forget the way she smelled and tasted and felt.