Garlan observed Arianne combing her hair like they had personally offended her. When she saw him, she glowered.
“Cersei Lannister is a bitch.”
“I take the tea with the Queen did not go well.”
“She all but said you are a simpleton with big muscles who thinks with his dick.”
“My grandmother would agree. In her opinion, I’m bigger fool than my father for falling for a pretty face and a sweet bosom.”
Arianne laughed, “Did she really call me pretty?”
“She believed her age frees her from the rules of politeness,” he said, sidestepping.
“Well, last time, Lord Yronwood implied I was a silly girl, blind to your nefarious plan to take over Dorne.”
“I didn’t know he held me in such high esteem.”
She giggled,”We must look very stupid.”
“They underestimate us and don’t see the scorpion in their shoes. Did you defend my honor?” he teased.
Arianne smiled with great satisfaction. “I did. I extolled your provenness at the sword and your love for rosebuds.”
Garlan sputtered, “You did what?” His wife could be shameless but never in public.
“Don’t worry, she didn’t understand.”
Thanks the Gods he thought.
“Her brother Tyrion definitely understood,” she added, “He almost choked on his wine.”
“He joined you? I thought they did not get along.”
“I invited him. He was not at the tourney and he wanted to know all about you.” Her smile was sweet and gentle. Garlan would have been charmed if he hadn’t seen her practising in front of her mirror.
He slowly sat on their bed and began to take off his boots. He winced, he still could not bend his torso without pain and his left hand was not up for the task even if he had trained to fight with both hands. Arianne moved her seat closer to help.
“Pulling the tail of the lion can be dangerous,” he said.
She grunted as she pulled on his right boot. “She started first! She said dornish women have notoriously loose morals.”
He wriggled his eyebrows, “Is she afraid you will seduce Robert?”
“Alas my beloved husband, you are a paragon of manhood. You have ruined me for other men.” The quivers of her voice, paired with her tragic expression, were a nice touch. “Besides, there is no need to seduce Robert. Trot a woman in front of him, and he will grab her. How was Lord Dayne?”
“Excited to hear the story from the Moutainslayer himself. I suspect his popularity among the squires has risen considerably,” Garlan said, wriggling his foot free from the boot.
“He likes you, specially since you put Darkstar in his place. He is still limping, you know.” She patted his knee with satisfaction.
“You asked nicely, I could not refuse.” Whatever the man thought of himself, he was no Arthur Dayne and no Oberyn Martell, and he certainly did not deserve Dawn.
“That’s why Robert Baratheon cannot seduce me. You always know what please me.”
“Bringing you the corpses of your enemies?” he suggested.
“It is the key to my heart.”
