thirty-four

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Nung buntis ako kay xavier, wala akong problema sa pag tulog, maybe because I was young and pagod lagi, but right now, I am awake, its 1:30 am, and I'm up, kahit uminom na ako ng gatas and my vitamins, I also tried closing my eyes but no avail. Tumayo ako to stare at the moon and reflect, my life right now is going perfect, my xavier and my javi in one house. A little one on the way, it makes us a home.

"hello avi" javi's husky voice startled me, ngumiti ako sakanya.

"can't sleep?" he asked, I nodded, nakatingin ako right now sa bintana, looking at the moon.

"baby girl, let mama sleep" javi said, I laughed.

Javi stood up from the bed and papunta sa akin, he hugged me from behind, his chin on my shoulder and his hands on my bump.

"five more months and we meet you love" sabi ni javi, I nodded and placed my hand on top of his.

"five more months of your freedom javier, and then you'll forever be linked with me" biro ko, javi sighed.

"I can't wait to marry you," javi said, I smiled.

"take your time, little girl, mama will keep you safe and dada will keep mama and kuya xav safe" sabi ni javi, tears were forming.

"hala, why you crying love?" sabi ni javi, umiling ako.

"my god, these allergies" biro ko, javi laughed.

"you don't have any allergies naman?" he asked, I smiled while my tears are flowing.

"I love you javi, thank you for coming back" I whispered at humarap ako sakanya, cupping his cheeks.

"I love you more xavienne, thank you for letting me in again." sabi niya, kissing my forehead.

"and I love this little baby girl right here, and I love kuya xavier." javi said again.

"wala ka ng morning sickness diba?" javi asked, and I nodded.

"let's sleep avi." sabi ni javi, guiding me papunta sa bed, he helped me find a comfortable position since medyo malaki na nga yung tiyan ko. I fell asleep immediately, although I felt weird.

I moaned in pain.

Cramps in my lower stomach woke me up, nung una akala ko Braxton hicks lang but when the pain got unbearable I opened my eyes.

"javi," sabi ko, shaking javi to wake him up, he smiled but his eyes were close.

"javi please wake up" sabi ko, yinugyog ko pa siya ulit.

I screamed in pain.

"mama what's wrong?" xavier asked, and bumukas ang ilaw, and all I can see is red,

"javi" I cried, he looked at me at inalis ang comforter.

"open the door xav" sabi ni javi, carrying me and gathering the things we need like a jacket for me, his wallet and his keys to the car and the house.

"javi, I'm scared." sabi ko habang pababa na si javi ng hagdan, he smiled at me.

"kaya natin 'to" he said, I nodded and buried my face in his neck.

It pains me to see Xavier like this, crying, while holding my hand, but I was in too much pain. Alam kong lahat kami nagdadasal.

Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan is okay naman ako, okay naman as in perfect. But why am I bleeding? I was looking at javi, he was driving as fast as he can.

"kaya natin 'to" he said, kissing my knuckles.

I tried to stay positive, but the pain was becoming more and more unbearable, and I know na hindi ito tama.

"javi" I cried out, he looked straight and smiled.

"konti nalang, malapit na tayo" he said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Nang makarating kami sa ospital, javi carried me, and xavier beside him, crying. Isinakay na ako sa wheelchair and I looked at javi who was advised by the nurse to stay outside.

"we have to deliver the baby" sabi nung doctor, I closed my eyes and nodded. Si javi nasa loob na ng delivery room wearing a hairnet and facemask.

"okay mommy push" sabi nung doctor na nandito and not my original preffered baby. I pushed harder, javi holding my hand and kissing my forehead, he's also pushing the stray hair away from my face.

"okay, crowning na mommy, one more push" I closed my eyes and prayed.

"Javiell Therese?" javi said, I nodded, Javi tightened his grip on my hand, kissing my forehead again, this time a little longer than usual.

"sabi ko naman sayo kaya natin" he said. Tears were flowing in both of our eyes.

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