The Arrangement

Chapter Eleven: The Arrangement

I stood there for what felt like ages. Thoughts raced through my mind faster then I could comprehend. 

Finally, my feet began to move on their own will. Like a ghost, I floated to our room. Vivaan was waiting there for me.

"Don't worry," he said, not meeting my eyes. "I won't tell my parents. I understand."

I didn't reply immediately. I watched his face. It wasn't hurt. It was blunt. As if he had expected this. As if he had wanted this.  

"What do you understand, Vivaan?" I asked. My voice was quiet, deadly almost. He looked at me in surprise, looked away just as quick. I tilted my head. "Do you understand what I'm going through? Do you understand why I married you?"

Vivaan rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm going through the same thing you are?"

"Do not tell me that." I shook my head. "Your mother ran away from a marriage she didn't want, and her father dragged her back. She told me about it like she was embarrassed, like it was a silly thing a child does because they don't know any better. She was made to feel like she didn't know better about her own life. Like this kind of sacrifice is normal." I pointed at myself. "Just like me. My father will kill me for bringing dishonor to the family. Do you understand that?" I narrowed my eyes. "What do your parents do if you ever say no, Vivaan?"

My husband was at a loss for words. I answered for him. "Nothing. So, do not stand there and tell me you are going through the same thing I am, when you won't suffer the same consequences that I will for being a woman."

Vivaan eyes were wide, his gaze fixed firmly on the ground. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he gritted his teeth. I almost wanted to grab him and make him look at me. 

"Why?" I demanded. "Why did you call him here?"

"I told you," Vivaan snapped. "So you could tell him that truth!"

"And how the fuck did you have the audacity to make that decision for me?"

Once again, Vivaan reeled back in surprise. I stepped towards him. "I married you so I could be safe! So I could live. Because I wasn't given any other choice. You knew that. So, why did you call him here? Why did you take me to meet Preeti? What was the point of it all?" I nodded, blinking away tears. "Because you can't stand it, can you? Just like I can't. You can't pretend anymore. Just like me."

Silence enveloped us. Realization dawned on Vivaan's face. He stumbled back until he fell onto the bed, his shoulders slumped. I was trembling all over. Now that it had been spoken out loud, we both realized it was true. After the first night we had slept together, we couldn't behave like anything more then friends. 

Some might say that's what a marriage is. Two people who are best friends, bonded together by marriage. But there was a difference. You saw home when you looked at your lover. You saw your life. You saw someone whose presence was like breathing for you. Whose name was embedded in your mind. When I looked at Vivaan... I just saw him.

He ran his hands through his hair. "What will happen to you if... if we divorce?"

"My mom tells my father the truth."

"What if we pin this on me? Say that I wasn't happy with the marriage?"

"Then your father kicks you out." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that... when your father..."

"No." Vivaan met my eyes. "You were right. Not having a place to stay... it's not as bad as being killed."

Despite everything, I snorted. Vivaan chuckled.  We both looked at each, our apologies clear in our eyes. I went and sat next to him as he spoke, "What do we do then? We keep pretending to love each other? To be happy in front of our family? I mean, we do it pretty well."