One of the Beautiful People

Chapter Three

  John went home that evening still in shock from what had occurred. He and Paul had shared so many fascinating thoughts, interesting stories, and even memories over the course of their night together. For once, John had really thought that Paul might be interested in him. Yet still, Paul wanted no part of John’s ways.

  Since going back to the club probably wasn’t a wise decision, John spent most of his time moping around his own living quarters. His house was tiny, but it was perfect for just one lonely soul. Every evening, John practically cried himself to sleep over how empty everything was. It had been a long time since he had found himself romantically interested in anyone, and every time John found himself in bed, he realized that. The space in his bed where someone else should be was empty, longing for someone to fill its place.

  Sadly, there wouldn’t be anyone to fill this space. John knew deep in his heart that anything between he and Paul was considered business for the younger lad, and it would only be considered business. That was just the way everything was. Paul was used to a world of constantly putting on a show for everyone. He was a natural performer, breezing his way through life without getting attached to anything, or in fact, anyone. 

John knew that it was pointless to feel this way about someone who would never love him back, but still the feelings inside him grew. He found himself becoming soft, his head hurting and his heart yearning for something to make it feel whole again. Everything wasn’t as simple as it used to be, and it pained John to think of life that way. Ever since he had declared himself queer, he knew life wasn’t going to be easy. But he never thought loving another man would be this difficult.

  Paul wasn’t feeling too well either. Although he wasn’t feeling heartbroken over someone he could never have, he was feeling an equal amount of pain every evening. Paul didn’t know why the pain he felt was shooting through his body every night, but he knew it was there.

  In his tiny, cramped room, Paul curled himself into a ball every night before letting a few tears hit the floor. He didn’t know why he was crying, but everything seemed to make sense as those few tears streamed down his face and onto his bed sheets. He was so depressed all of a sudden, finding even everyday tasks much more complex than he originally intended. Everything wasn’t as wonderful as if once was, and so, Paul cried. When he cried, he felt human- a feeling that he hadn’t felt in years.

  Being so depressed, Paul didn’t attract as many dancers as he used to. Of course, this was no issue to him. Although he loved the constant attention of being the one everyone wanted, he felt he needed a small break in his complex life-routine of dancing for others. It was nice performing for others, but it was now growing to become overrated in Paul’s mind. 

  Maybe spending that quality time with John over dinner had changed Paul. He felt that he was becoming a better person, feeling more and more human with every waking breath. It had been weeks since he’d seen John, and for some reason, Paul didn’t like that feeling. He missed the strange man who was so anxious to see him all the time, and he didn’t know why, but he wished he could see him again. John was always so kind, being as caring and understanding as possible. He was the nicest man Paul had ever met, and for that, Paul was thankful. And so far, he was the only one who had been nice to Paul as well.

—-

  After spending as much time away from the club as possible, John forced himself to return one evening, spending what little cash he had left for his entrance. The club was still tightly packed, fans of Paul’s dancing everywhere and waiting to see if they were the lucky one that evening that got a private dance. John rolled his eyes at the cocky group of fellows who sat in the chairs he once sat in, waiting around for their lucky dancer to take them away. Little did John know, this time, his dancer was waiting for him.