Achieving Heaven Through Hell Part 1: A Peaceful Afterlife

Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Relapse Part 2

The Happy Hotel was a deceptively large structure, easy to take a wrong turn, easy to get lost. Her father had insisted on hiring H. H. Holmes as the designer, so there had been a process of 'disarmament' when getting the old shack back into working order. Still, the thing was laid out like a maze, with literally hundreds of traps, backdoors, and secret passages. Luckily for Charlie, she'd spent the better part of a century getting familiar with the layout, learning all the good hiding spots and places to stash candy. She still stashed candy here and there from time to time!

"How much further?" Husk said, panting. "I ain't drunk or sober enough for this much running!"

"Yeah, Charlie," Vaggie said, spear clasped tightly in her hands, her eyes wide. "You said there's an exit back here?"

"This place wasn't designed to let people out!" Charlie said, exasperated. "But we just have to take a few more lefts, a few rights, and go up a hidden staircase and we'll be out."

"Not very safe to hide your fire-exits," Husk grumbled.

"I just call it a fire-exit." Charlie let out a bashful chuckle. "It's really more of a, uh, well, Daddy always called it the 'Aunt Flo Emergency Hatch' for when Mom was cross with him. He always told me 'When red tide's in the clam, it's time to scram!' And then we'd go out for ice cream and shoot at homeless people. I liked the ice cream and I'd always miss on purpose. Win-win!"

Husk and Vaggie exchanged looks. "It's a miracle you're as normal as you are, Chuck."

"...So, shouldn't we keep going?" Vaggie offered, her tone urgent as she squeezed her spear shaft. "I don't care what Kira says, they're probably after us!"

"Did you see all those turns and doors we went through?" Charlie peered around the corner. "We've got a bit of time to talk things over."

"Talk what over?" Vaggie said, dreading what she knew was coming. "You better not say we're–"

"Splitting up! Yes!" Charlie blurted out. "I'm the one they're after, so they'll come after me. If I head off into the building, I can get them lost in here. You, Razzle, Dazzle, and Husk, you're just witnesses, they won't go after you if they still haven't caught me."

"Charlie, that's stupid!" Vaggie said, grabbing Charlie by the shoulders. "What if they, I don't know, split up themselves and one kills us and the other catches you?"

"How is that any different than them catching all of us?" Charlie cupped Vaggie's face, a sad smile on her face. "Between Kira and me, they won't have too many hands to spare. I can buy you guys enough time to get to one of my parent's estates, you'll be safe there."

"Much as I hate to admit it, she's right," said Husk as he pointed at the ceiling. "Clean's their prime target, so is Charlie, we're an afterthought. Between Clean and Chuck, that just might be all of 'em."

"Tell me about it," said Moonshine as he leaned on the wall behind Husk, unshouldering his harpoon. "I mean, only a fucking idiot would fight Mr. Clean all by themselves!"

Husk and the Goat Bois squawked in surprise and leapt back. Vaggie was in front of Charlie in a flash, her spear at the ready.

"Aw hey, she's got a poker," the one-armed fish-demon snorted, unimpressed. "Careful now, missy, that thing's sharp. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'll hurt you!" Vaggie roared, lunging at him.

"Fuck me, that comeback sucked." With a roll of his wrist, Moonshine's harpoon flashed down in a shimmering arc. Vaggie only barely managed to bring her shaft up in time to catch the razor edged flue bare inches from her face. With a flick of his massively muscled arm he tore the spear from her grip and into his hand. He examined the spear and nodded approvingly. "But hey, this thing ain't bad."