The Exiled Queen

Deleted Epilogue Scene

(art by @phantomrin w/permission)

On the Night of the crowning ceremony

Cardan lounges onto the bed, back against the pillows, spreading out languorously. And his eyes alight with mischievous charm, "Its been some time since we've...been alone in these rooms. Was it the night we made our young, Serith? Perhaps we can try our luck here again and fill your womb with another beautiful daughter?"

Crossing the room, I perch myself beside him. Already the gown's bodice is constricting, it digs in uncomfortably. I fix Cardan a stare, "I'm still not ready to carry another child, Cardan. Just because I am able to, does not mean I must. We've spoke of this before."

"We have, forgive me. It is only that I have begun to miss there being a wailing infant that needs coddling."

"Serith is only two. And she wails plenty still."

Cardan leans forward, dips his head into the crook of my neck and kisses me there, "You know of what I speak. Those quiet moments with an ever sleeping newborn in your arms, a tiny and fragile bundle of life at your mercy. Your own precious child."

I lean into him, twine my hand into his. I can't help but think that Cardan is filling a hole with his longing for children. Righting a wrong. That in some way he is replacing his brothers and sisters who were brutally murdered in front of him. But a part of me knows that perhaps it is more to do simply with love, with family. Despite the love Cardan may have had for his brothers and sisters and his father, he was raised in the absence of warmth. Of acceptance. Of a loving mother. And now he has learned that he can create his own. He can fill these palace walls with love and laughter and comfort. Family.

Between myself and Taryn, we have brought ten children into Elfhame. Two and a half years after the twins, our first daughter Elia was born, her name was chosen to honor Cardan's eldest sister, Elowyn. And only three years after her, another set of twin boys, Elduin and Thallan.

After which, I began to feel that if Cardan were to merely look at me I'd become pregnant again. I sought out Vivi's help, turning to mortal remedies that I typically shied from. Although there was a time not long ago when I didn't realize I had run out of the clever little yellow pills, and didn't see Vivi soon enough, that's when our little Serith came to us.

It is much the same for Taryn. Not long after Orlagh's war, she bore her first, Eva. Who is now fifteen, a beautiful and graceful girl with a soft melodic voice and fine, copper hair. Being so close in age to Auron and Virion, the three have been nearly inseparable as they've grown. It wasn't until after Taryn's fourth child that she came to me with her fear of childbearing in Faerie where our years are not the same as in the mortal world; where we have not yet aged since we reached adulthood.

I don't know what that means for Taryn and I. Nicasia and Valerian used to sneer in our faces of our mortality. But I think of Val Moren, how he appears young in his many, many years of residing in Elfhame.

Perhaps Taryn and I are immortal but only in Faerie. I should never want to find out by stepping foot in the mortal world. I have nightmares that I'd wither and die as soon as I stepped between the shadows of the two worlds. But despite our years being drawn out here, we both seem to remain very much mortal in the way of fertility. And pregnancy and birth and suckling infants, while having their own fondness, are hard on our bodies, tiring. So for now, my twin and I will take our little mortal pills and continue to enjoy our intimacies while being in control of our bearing.