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14~ goodbye p.t. 3

Billie

~

"Please, please. Don't leave me be."

I walk towards the bathroom in our hotel and turn on the light. It blinds my eyes briefly as I step up to the sink and grab my toothbrush. I squeeze some toothpaste on my toothbrush while an alarming and painful feeling erupts in my chest.

I had been feeling quite awful for a while now but I just thought it was because of the nerves of all the preparation for tour and being stressed out about my work schedule for the rest of the year. Those meetings had become the main focus for me these past few months. It kept me so busy, I feel like I've been missing out on time with Naomi. Although one of the best parts of being a recording artist are seeing my fans during tour season. They're some of the best people in the world that I get to meet.

i feel a set of hands come around my waist when i look back up at the mirror. Nai looks at me with concern and exhaustion while i hold my chest firmly.

"it's still bad huh?"

"yeah. i haven't been feeling any better." i look down in pain at the drops of water falling from the sink.

"maybe we should-" Nai gets interrupted by my painful coughing. i hold my chest as i cough up blood into the sink. one of my hands hold the edge of the sink as my knuckles turn white.

"we're definitely getting you checked out. i can't keep watching you get worse." She exhales a deep sigh and walks out the bathroom. i close my eyes for second and open the water. i clean my mess and chase after Naomi. i know i'm getting worse and i don't know what the hell is wrong with me but i can't miss these shows. they're all i've been looking forward to. having that unexplainable connection with the people that change my life everyday, i can't lose that.

"it's not true, take me to the rooftop."

"babe, i can't miss these shows! the fans are everything to me." she turns around and looks into my eyes.

"baby, i know you love these shows and that this means a lot to you and i love that for you but your health should be pretty important too." I sigh and shake off the minor migraine that surfaces. i can't let this go, i need to have these shows. at least one before who knows what. what if i can't get better? whatever this is.

"listen, what if i just do the first show then we can figure out what this is. just one show." i plead as Naomi looks at me with guilt. i reach out for her hand and gently kiss her knuckles as i knew that was her weakness and usually makes her melt.

"fine, but right after we're calling and figuring out whatever the fuck this is that is making you sick." i smile and scrunch my nose. i couldn't help but do a little dance and bring Naomi in for a squeeze and laugh as she squirms in my arms.

"thank you, Nai, i love you so much! thank you for taking care of me, i'm sorry i'm high maintenance," she raises her eyebrow at me and pulls out of the hug. she ends up giggling and kisses the top of my head.

"the first show is in a couple days and remember i start rehearsals tomorrow at 7."

"i know, i know. i'll wake you up if your alarm doesn't."

"thank god! i really would have slept through it if you weren't here with me." my sleeping schedule has been so out of control lately so i'm glad i have someone that can put me back into routine.