I Believe

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(Originally published on Ao3)


(So this was all inspired by a what if idea...along with the song "I Believe". I just thought hey, what if Ghost were to meet some Goth person? How would Papa's reaction be to it (and the whole darkness/moodiness...hardy har har). Anyway, this is just a short and sweet story. I wanted to do this as my own "Cirice" like story with also adding a fluff story for Ghost. Also, a self-confidence boost story as well....wow, it's a lot of things. Overall, hope everyone enjoys!





I never understood why I was bullied. You would think by now with all the anti bullying campaigns and people willing to accept differences it would stop...well, it didn't.

At least not for me. I experienced it all from being a kid to even now.

Well, I suppose getting bullied as a kid is pretty normal. At one point, we've all seen it or been through it one way or another.

However, it seemed to haunt me into even to today. All because I wear darker clothes. Sometimes.

You see, I'm a Goth. Not your typical stereotypical spooky one too where you'd think we'd worship Satan and start black magic rituals. At least some of us don't.

I'm just...a Goth. I like wearing dark makeup, dark clothes, watching horror movies, reading Gothic literature, listening to heavy metal, learning about aromatherapy or maybe other cool spiritual stuff...just some things that define me as a person as well.

That being said, I don't do this all the time. It just depends on the day. However, I would technically prefer doing these over what the trash at my school say about me. The fucking bimbo hot headed bitches.

You know, the blonde bimbos (or even some brown heads) with all the flashy diamonds, surfer girl bodies, has a boyfriend who's the QB of the football team, acts like she makes the straight As but she just cheats instead, gossips with her fake friends to talk shit about who's wearing fishnets in the middle of summer....

Or those boys who think they're the street life, throwing "gang" signs, wear saggy jeans showing off ass and flannels that are way too big for them. Not to mention they also act like they have an IQ of 1, getting drunk often while trying to start fights with random guys all because they were on their "turf".

OK, maybe I'm getting a little too stereotypical but...they are there.

I've met plenty of people who belong in both categories that are pretty calm but sadly those people are rare few...and now I gotta deal with these idiots who think their high class life is so superior to mine being a vampire out in the night. Except I'm not a vampire. Again, I just like reading about them...it doesn't mean I go around sucking other people's blood without their permission...

Anyway, I hope you all get the drift of where I'm going with this. Because it's a drift that I just hope I could get off soon.




"I didn't know they were doing auditions for Evanescence early?"

I rolled my eyes as I escaped school, passing by one of the stupid blondes I shall not name, giggling with her friend as I walked pass them. She wasn't even worth the headache to listen to. Like I said, the typical superior model who thinks she's better than anyone else. Not worth my time to battle with.

I walked over to my friend hanging out by the rails. "Sup," I said, sitting down on the bench near it. "What's the 411 for today?"

"Nothing, much," my friend said, searching through her phone. Like me, she was also a Goth but more so lenient you wouldn't think she was one. She also liked more of the so called "emo" bands more than my likings. I joked to her often about her being an "emo" instead of a "Goth".

Well, at least she understood what it was like to be picked on. She had her fair share of stories, being sneered on for being an "emo" or a "weirdo". Despite her small size though, she proven to knock a few teeth in to those who took it a little far.

I glanced at my friend's phone screen to see she was scanning for tickets.

"Movie night?"

"No, more so concert. It's for Ghost."

I raised an eyebrow. "Ghost?" That name sounded familiar...

"Yeah, you know, the band I like," she said, smiling. "Wait, I haven't told you about them, did I?"

I shook my head. "Sounds familiar but I don't think you ever went into detail about them...."

"Well, you see, they have this whole getup image of being 'Satanist worshippers' but they're really not. It's all just for theater. Not to mention, they based their whole thing as a parody of church. You know how there's theater bands like Slipknot? That's Ghost! They're just so...good though! And the songs...ohhh boy! Like do they talk about Satan? Of course, that's their gimmick but the music is just....ahhhh! It's like if the Beatles had badass, metal twins from another dimension that celebrated Halloween everyday! The guitars sound amazing. I need to buy Meliora and Popestar to complete my collection."

I snickered at the way my friend was totally fangirling. While I was a fangirl of some things myself, the way my friend kept exaggerating and going ballistic showed how crazy she was for them. "And let me guess...you're checking to see if they're going to be around here anytime soon?" I asked.

"I got one date right here!" my friend shouted, shoving the phone up to my face. "See? Right at this stadium! It's perfect. Oh man, you gotta go with me. You gotta see how good these guys are!"

I raised my eyebrow, grinning. "And what would I get out of this?" I teased.

"Umm...I'll pay for your ticket and add an extra 20 to say you're a really good friend," she said, pondering. "Really though, you should give one of their songs a try...if you don't feel comfortable however, I won't be mad or anything. I'll ask one of my cousins to see if they can go with me."

I sighed. "I guess I'll give one song a listen," I winked.

My friend snorted, knowing I was just playing around with her. "All right, you can drop the act now. Seriously though, don't feel pressure if you think you have to come. Yet, just give one of their songs a listen, please. I've been waiting to see them live...and now's my chance."

"All right, I'll look up one of their albums later," I said. "If I like what I hear, I promise I'll go."

My friend then jumped up and hugged me tight. "Thank you, (y/n)! You don't know how much this means to me."

I giggled, hugging her back.

I kind of really wanted to go with her, in all honesty. She's been there for me when people would jeer at the clothing I wear when I wanted to go heavy on Goth, the makeup artists who scolded about my skin, the stylists who said my hair was stringy and too frizzy... stuff that people would try to find an excuse just to make themselves superior to me.

Being a Goth, I was used to it, considering people would always be selfish but every once in a while, it got pretty irritating.

My friend though stood by me this whole time. She wasn't having any of it. She knew what it was like to be bullied too, often picked on for her taste in music similar to my own. Except whereas I rolled with the punches, she fought back. She ignited the spirit in me to fight too but it was hard, being so used to rolling my eyes and ignoring it.

I couldn't deny her invitation to go see this band she loved. She supported me throughout these whole years, now I needed to support her. If only now though, I could listen to what their music will be so I wouldn't screw up singing any of the lyrics with her.

"Oh crap, class is gonna start soon, I'll see you around, (y/n)!" my friend hollered. She got off of her seat before turning back to me suspiciously, waggling her fingers. "Remember to give them a listen!"

"I will," I said, smiling.




I wasn't so sure which I was surprised by: the fact that this band really made good music...or the amount of fans that they had when we were at the front gate.

I started off with Meliora as stated by my friend as it wasn't as "disturbing" as the others. And when I got to Opus Eponymous and Infestissumam, I understood what she meant. Though the funny thing was the songs in those two albums sounded more like story telling, like it was a musical you pictured in your head. I wasn't bothered by any of them since I watched plenty of horror movies though it took some time getting used to.

Meliora was in its own sphere, not regarding Satan much but there were few songs that "implied" it.

And the front men for the band...you could tell by the big grin on my face I liked them.

I liked how each singer was his own person, with his own costume and Ghouls. Even their voices had little difference. And they all had their own taste of "viewing" their Church of Sin, as my friend stated about their supposed lore.

They were known as Papa Emeritus. There was the First, Second and the Third, all brothers.

The one me and my friend were going to go see was the Third as he was the "current" front man of the band.

Unlike the first two who looked more older, this one had WAY more energy, often jumping around the stage, interacting with the crowd more, dancing awkwardly....I will say, I enjoyed his charisma. He was like a proper gentleman, dressed in the snazziest suit, his makeup not as heavily crazy with the black markings previous with his brothers and his voice was deeper but had the tone of chivalry. He also had hair, silky black strands draped down.

So going into this concert with my friend, I was sort of stoked to see how he would perform in front of me.

We had just arrived at the stadium, standing in line to get our tickets approved.

I think it took a good amount of 30 mins waiting by the gate, my friend growing impatient and looking like she wanted to hit someone.

"Come on, open up!" she grumbled, standing on her toes.

"Patience," I said to her, grinning.

She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed. "I paid front row tickets to see them! I demand getting my rightful seat!" she protested.

"And if any of them do try to take it, we'll just shove them aside, waving our tickets for proof," I giggled, sticking out a tongue.

My friend chuckled, balancing herself. "It's a good thing you came then. That way, I can have someone like you who's taller than me to shove both of our tickets up their face and maybe into their asses."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "You know I don't know who's worst when we get angry...you or me."

Before she could answer, finally then, the gates opened.

"Come on, here we go!" my friend screeched, pulling me with her to charge in with the crowd.




Well, my friend was right for one thing: seeing them out in the flesh was way better than anything else. Remember how I said about the energy Papa brought onto the stage?

I certainly FELT it as soon as he appeared before us.

It was adrenaline pumping. The way he spoke, sang, danced, played the kazoo...it was all fun. And the music. The music being played out live was way more energetic than listening to it on the net or whatever. Wow....they were amazing. I lost count how many times I stomped in time to Omega's foot to cheering on Alpha's solo. I loved it all.

And when I turned to my friend, I could tell on her face, she was in heaven (hardy har har). Aside from the fact that she got totally pissed off that Papa was holding someone else's hand during the song, "Cirice", I assured her that she would probably have a better chance going to some signing event to interact with him better (to which she immediately started searching for one).

However, with so much time passing by, I couldn't believe the next thing I knew it was over. The last song was played and they were gone. Everyone was heading out to the entrance, going home.

"I told you they were awesome!" my friend prattled on, nudging me on the arm. "I told you they were worth seeing!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, blushing. "You're right. I'm glad I came to see them. Thanks for finally convincing me."

We were walking over by some people near the entrance. There seemed to be a crowd scattering near some fence. "There he is!" someone screamed.

Me and my friend turned to each other, our hearts throbbing. We attempted to push ourselves through the crowd, wanting to see.

Yet, one of these tall assholes pushed us back down, shoving us with his hand. Another swiped aside my cousin. They were heavy guys, all tatted, wearing jean vests and obviously looking like the type who would pummel anyone standing in their way.

"Hey!" I growled at one of the tall guys. "What was that about? We were going in first!"

One of the guys turned to me, scoffing. "Why don't you use your magic to make yourself taller?" he sneered, glaring at what I was wearing.

I stomped my foot down. The funny thing was, I really didn't even try to go out all Goth as I usually do. Though I will say I went a bit overload on the makeup. Maybe? Yet, the moment that guy said that, it sent me goosebumps knowing this wasn't going to be pretty. "Yeah, yeah, very funny. Anyway, if you don't mind, we'll be pleased to excuse us."

The men then swiveled over to me, looking me up and down. "And like I said, use your magic to make yourself taller?" the guy huffed.

"Oh very funny," my friend snarled. "Just because she's a Goth, ohh, she probably has magic to do spooky things? Fuck off, bud. We're just trying to see what you guys are seeing. Just please, give us a peek. Then you can have all the view."

One of the men fully turned over to us. He looked like your stereotypical skinhead, bald headed, wearing a leather jacket and so many earrings in his ear I lost count. He had some weird tattoo on his forehead and a stupid mustache fit perfectly on his upper lip. His energy just spoke for bullying.

"Trash like you shouldn't belong here anyway," he growled. "I'm willing to bet underneath all that makeup, you're just some fake Hot Topic rip off kid who's begging for attention."

That immediately sent my blood on fire. "All right, pal, that went way too far than expected," I hissed.

"Yeah," my cousin said. "Dude, what the fuck? You got a stick up your ass or something?"

"He probably does," I said, grinning. "What do you expect from trailer park shit being born to a junkie bitch?"

And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. I didn't even see the hit coming until I turned to see my cousin's face morph into horror. I don't know why I didn't see it. Maybe I was caught up in the mood as the crowd was roaring again, claiming that they saw one of the Ghouls passing by. Maybe I saw that there was a certain white face that appeared in the midst of me and my cousin peeking. A certain face I knew I had seen earlier.

And then I was on the ground, my face collided by a hit from the bastard, making me fall down to the ground.

When I got up, I was bleeding heavily. My eyes averted to see my nose was busted up, along with giant slops of blood raining down. And the pain...the pain was screaming to release.

"Remind you where your place is," the jackass scowled.

My friend huffed. "You piece of shit!" she roared, ready to attack him.

I immediately though pushed her back down. "No! Don't let him. It's ok...I don't want you to get kicked out..."

"You look like shit though now," my friend hollered. "Look at you!"

Unveiling my nose, my eyes glanced to see the blood drooling to the floor. There was a twisted piece of skin pointed up, with flesh exposed out. I could still breathe easily yet it didn't stop the swelling pain bubbling up in my nose.

I glanced around to see people taking pictures, some laughing, while others looked concern and others cheering the dude on, telling me that's what I get.

"Take that you freak!" someone growled. "Freak!"

Freak.

I heard it being chanted in my head. "Freak!" That's what I've been known all along to them. Not just to these people but to the others like at my school. "Freak." I didn't wear what they wore. "Freak." I looked like I belonged to some druggie outpost. "Freak." That's what I was. I was just a freak.

Feeling my eyes tear up, I began to sniff.

"(Y/n)?"

I turned to my friend who held onto my arm, pulling me toward her.

Lifting my arm away, I clutched my hands to my face and bolted off, not knowing where I was going but I wanted to get out of there.




I wiped the tears out of my eyes the best I could. I hated how it smudged my makeup, seeing the dark pigment mix within my skin, making me look like some sort of monster.

I probably looked ugly, having so much shit running down my face, all the tears and makeup slobbering around. I looked as if I belonged to some stupid intervention club because I looked like a druggie.

I glanced around to see I had no idea where I was at. It seemed to be some sort of hallway, with me in a seat. I had no notion to know where I wanted to be once I left that crowd. I just wanted to be by myself. Of course, I left my friend freaking out back there, worried as fuck, wondering where I'd gone off to. My phone was buzzing crazy with her calls and texts, asking where I was. I didn't even bother to answer. Wherever I was, it wasn't like she would be able to get access in. Oh well, maybe it's better this way. She wouldn't have to put up with me.

I sighed, getting up. Dusting myself off, I decided to continue to walk. Whether it was outside or more inside this stadium, I didn't care, I needed to erase my mind.

I glanced to see my phone at 1% and I grumbled, sliding down to the floor to mope some more. I sighed, kicking myself in the head for being a dumbass. I should've brought that backup battery.

I wiped another tear glistening on my cheek, still damaged.

A gloved white hand caressed it, its velvet touch smoothing around the watery drop. "Mi amore, why is a beautiful rose like yourself crying out here all alone? Are you lost?"

Turning my head up, my eyes shrunk to see Papa Emeritus leaning over me, his hand patting my cheek.

I recoiled, standing up and stepping back, flabbergasted. "Ahhhiiii." I ducked and covered my face with my arms, ashamed to show him my face. This was Papa Emeritus for Pete's sake. Papa Emeritus III. The hottest, suave prince of darkness I'd ever seen and he was going to watch me cry like a baby? Nope, can't afford to show that. And what the heck was he doing out here? And why did he even bother to spend time with me right now? Didn't he see what a lonely loser I was?

Papa laughed as I shielded my arms up to shroud my face. "Mi amore, don't be frighten by me," he cooed. "You're not in trouble or anything. I only want to know why you're out here all alone. You shouldn't be. A pretty little bird like yourself can get captured by the wild ones out here. I can show you the way out if you're confused. Or perhaps is this about something more?"

"Oh," I said. "I...I'm sorry. I...didn't mean to come back over here. I just lost track where I was going. I'll lead myself out. I'm sorry, Papa."

Papa chuckled. "Sorry for what? For losing your way around here? There's nothing to be ashamed about that. Though, I am still suspecting this is something more. Be fortunate that there aren't any security around here. They would have kicked you out. Since it is just the two of us now, I can show you the way to my dressing room to talk about that something more..."

I scooted away from him, blushing, causing him to laugh. "Umm...I..."

"Or we can stay here and talk about it," he chuckled. "Have no fear, mi amore. I won't take you anywhere you don't feel comfortable. I can tell on the look from your face you totally weren't expecting it. However, please, tell me, from the way you're crying...what is this about other than not being a fan girl going after me?"

"Umm, it's nothing," I said, hiding my face from him. "Yeah, it's about nothing. I apologize again for being back here. I really had no intention trying to find you or anything. I just...needed to get away from the crowd."

"And what about the crowd?"

"The assholes you have as fans," I huffed, crossing my arms. "This guy pushed me down thinking he was so better than me. Why do you think I have this here?" I pointed to my nose. "I suppose this is the behavior you'd accept since you're a Satanist."

"By pushing a delicate flower such as you down her stalk?!" Papa yipped. "My ghuleh, I may be what I am but that does not mean I will not tolerate any mischief such as this for you trying to enjoy the show. Where is this asshole? I'd ought give him a good round in the face for doing what he did. Or I can get my Ghouls to give him a couple good ones everywhere..."

"I don't know," I said. "I just ran over here to get away." I turned away from him, crossing my legs now. "Apparently, Goths don't even belong here either...not like it doesn't matter since we don't belong anywhere else."

"You're a Goth?" Papa asked, titling his head. "My, I will say, you make a beautiful Goth. We should grab drinks one day!"

I laughed. "Papa, I don't think that's what you say to a Goth...well, to the hardcore ones but..."

"Oh nonsense! I'm only extending my generosity for such a magnificent creature that you are. I have met...some that are on the moody scale but regardless, the emitting beauty of darkness that Goths have are so mystique and elegant." He patted my head with his hand. "However, to hear that they don't belong here...whoever said that, needs to be gutted with a knife to his throat. Please, mi amore, tell me where this bastard is. I promise he'll have a special place set for infernal punishment."

I raised my hands, grabbing onto Papa. "Papa, please, no. I...it's not a big deal. I don't want you to get in trouble or anything. Besides, it's my fault. I'm the one who made this a bigger deal than it is."

"Mi ghuleh, don't say such things!" Papa insisted. "That is how you make assholes like him or whoever feel more triumphant over you."

"I know but...maybe they're right. I mean...look at me!" I motioned my hands all over what I was wearing. "What do I look like to you? A scary Halloween girl?"

Papa huffed. He then surprisingly reached over to me and gave me a hug. I raised my eyebrows, startled by his sudden action.

"You look like a dark empress to me, mi amore," he purred, nudging his head against my neck. "And such lovely ladies should be treated with such high honor and dignity." He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Mi ghuleh, please, don't be ashamed by all of my affection to you. I just enjoy giving all my attention to such women who should be happy, not frowning all the time. Do you feel like you are undeserved of it?"

I gulped, turning my head away. I felt a hint of warmth blush around my cheeks.

Papa giggled. "Mi amore, your shyness just makes me more curious than your intention of pushing me away. It's...intriguing."

My cheeks turned redder, flashing hotly. "Ermmm..." I, however, shook my head. "I mean...yes."

I felt my tears begin drip again. "Papa, please...you...should go. Don't mind me. You need to rest up and get ready for your next performance. I'm just...a distraction. I'll go now." Seriously, what was he still doing here with me? Couldn't he find someone hotter? I was a fucking mess for crying out loud. Like that girl he sang "Cirice" to. Hell, she had a better body than what my ass could hold.

I tried to turn away from him but I ended up tripping, falling down to the floor.

Papa tsk but smiled, hugging me again, only he rose me up to my feet. "A distraction? Oh please, mi ghuleh, how can one not even be distracted by such beauty that you are. If I can request, mi amore, perhaps I make something to apologize for that asshole ruining your night. I would prefer to find him still and make him actually pay for it...but if you insist on no more troubles, I will oblige by your suggestion. Now though...will you take mine?"

I pondered for a bit, wondering what he could want from me. "What would be this request of yours, Papa?"

"Follow me." Papa offered his hand again, only he took a couple steps back, as if for me to trust him.

I took a deep breath, still staring at that hand. I shivered as I lifted mine to raise but hesitated. After all, Papa may have good intentions but...how could I trust him? Sure, from what my cousin told, he was a fun guy, so handsome and princely, yet was he like this to all he met? Or did he pay special favor to some?

Papa sighed, seeing my face warp from the confusion. "I will not pressure you if you don't want to take my hand," he said, sadly. "I will leave you to be if that is the case. And I will go...all alone. By myself." He pretended to cry, wiping a fake tear from his eyes. "Oh, how it will pain me so," he sniffed. "To leave a beautiful girl like you here by herself...but I will go. I will not pressure such a delicate rose to be picked by her stalk." He covered his face with his hands, "crying" some more.

I rolled my eyes. Ok, maybe I was being a little harsh. He can't be that bad. "All right, Papa, I'll go with you," I said, smiling.

Papa glanced back to me, swiping off another tear. "You...will?"

I nodded, giving my full consent. "Just...don't try anything, funny...promise?"

Papa smiled as he then reached for my hand and dragged me across the hallway. "I keep my promises, mi amore," he said, rushing away. "By the way, I don't think I quite got your name?"

"It's (y/n)."

"Ahh, a name like that fits with you perfectly, mi amore. Come, come! We must hurry!"




I didn't get a notion of where I was going as when Papa rushed me to wherever he wanted to take me, everything became a blur. Darkness also overtook my eyes for a little bit until we stopped somewhere.

I heard the door swung open to see a bathroom. "First, let's clean that up," Papa said, pointing to the sink. "Just do the best you can. Oh, here." He brought up a medical aid box.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. "Where did you get that?"

"I picked it up," he answered.

I shook my head, knowing he'd probably stopped somewhere to grab it but again, I couldn't see anything with how fast he was going. Giggling, I took it and began to fix my nose the best I could. I dabbed the nose in some ointment and wrapped it up in gauze.

I stepped outside, seeing Papa waiting for me. "There, now, you look even more beautiful," he grinned, making me chuckle. He took my hand and we were back to running. The world became a blur again until Papa shielded my eyes, covering it in pure darkness.

"No peeking yet, mi amore," he said. He then took my hands and used them to cover my eyes. "Wait right here."

There was the sound of a few shuffles and Papa's feet pitter pattering. I felt his hands enclose around mine. "Are you ready, mi amore?"

I nodded, agreeing to whatever he wanted to show me.

"Open your eyes."

He traced my hands away from my face showing me...the stage. The stage that he played on. Only I was on top of it.

My eyes widen at the sight of the lights reflecting off from the gleaming floor, the expansive space of the platform, the hundreds of seats before me, the decorative props of all the colorful, designed glass window panels and the equipment all sorted neatly. I was on the same stage that Papa just performed in front of me. I gapped, amazed at what was before me.

"Do you like it, mi amore?" Papa asked.

I nodded. "It's...wonderful. I can't believe...I'm right here...in the exact spot of where you performed. I remember you singing all those songs...the way you danced..." You giggled. "And the jokes you told...you know...this is my first concert seeing you. And I get to see how it all works. It's quite...intimidating being up here."

"It is but you get used to it once you realize people come over to watch you," Papa said. "That is the best part about coming up here. Seeing all of the people. People who paid to watch you perform. People who wanna hear you sing. And you my dear....are one such guilty person."

I giggled, grasping onto my arm.

Papa lend out his hand. "If I can ask...my dear (y/n)....would you like to dance with me?"

My cheeks bloomed to red again. I glanced over to Papa who smiled, still extending his hand out to me. "You know you want to take it," he teased, waggling his fingers and jutting his hand.

I chuckled, growing ever so shyer now. Papa was so...charming. As supposed according to the "lore" from my friend, the Emeritus line were full of angry, old, staggering anti popes who ruled the Church. Papa was the opposite. How the way he was with me when I was crying. And now offering me to dance with him on the same stage he just played on. He was kind, funny, energetic, young and yes...he had good looks. He was the enigma of a dark prince. He was bouncing with such radiating vitality, it was no wonder why people probably came to see him perform twice or more. He was so sweet and entertaining.

I swayed my hand up to Papa's. Papa took it with mine and he led me over to the center of the stage. "Follow my steps, ghuleh," he mewed.

The next couple minutes...if they were even minutes...were the best moments of my life. I don't how he did it but Papa can dance! With his hand connected to mine and the other wrapped around my waist, he guided me to follow his lead. I tried not to mess up in front of him, moving my feet to match his but a couple times, I did slip up, almost falling forward or skipping too far ahead. Papa caught me on time though, pushing or leaning me from falling down completely.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"No worries, mi amore," he cooed.

He did a couple twirls with me and sometimes even shoved me out to dance on my own to continue the twirl. I would "mistakenly" swirl back over to him, happy to see that mischievous smile he played on his lips.

He then titled my head to nudge on his shoulder as he leaned my body to fall on his. I closed my eyes, smelling his cologne as he began to slow dance with me. I wrapped my arm above his neck tighter and the other hand grasping onto his. He shoved his hand to enclose more around my waist.

I didn't care now about what the world thought of me. I didn't care about that stupid asshole who called me out. Heck, I didn't even care about my friend. All that mattered was I cared for Papa. He was doing everything he can to make me smile. Calming down my nerves, relaxing me with his dances, his aura full of kindness and generosity...all for a stranger like me.

I heard him sing in my ear, whispering the lyrics to one of his songs he performed. It wasn't "Cirice" as I suspected it to be. It was another song. This one way more "hopeful" like, as if I was walking into a church, hearing some harmonious choir singing, the harp playing in tune with the piano and transporting me into connection with the choir's song. It sang how I could do it. I could ignore all of what people's shit thrown at me. I could be myself.

"And I believe, that you could beeee, what I neeeeeed to believe," Papa purred, kissing my ear. "I belieeeevvvvvvvvvveeeeee..."

He began to dance with me into circles, twirling us both together.

"Oh, it just keeps coming round again," he sang, winking at me. I giggled, letting him control our movement. "Oh, it just keeps coming round aggggaainn..."

Feeling a burst of enjoyment in my heart, I threw myself onto Papa more, leaning more my weight on him. Papa didn't seem to mind as he supported himself to hold onto me, now lifting me up by my feet and swirling me around.

"The conclusion I need is easily reached with you," he continued to hum.

"You have given me all and there's nothing left to do," I whispered, recognizing the lyrics.

This made Papa smile wider, happy to see I was now joining his song.

And then, gripping his hands within mine, he lead me around the stage again, dancing once more. Only it seemed as if we were flying now, soaring across the stage like birds.

I peeked from the corner of my eyes to see the Ghouls had joined us now, all playing on their instruments. I squeezed my eyes tightly, shaking my head, wondering I was just imagining it but it was clear as day...they were on the stage with us, each working their fingers on the strings, keys, feet...synchronized with our dancing.

I turned to Papa, now ever so in bliss...how could he?

"Papa," I began. "You shouldn't..."

"Shh," he cooed. "The next chorus is about to come up."

I laughed and joined on singing the last part of the song:

"And I believe, that you could beeee...
What I need to believveee...
I belieevvvveeeeeeee.....
Oh it just keeps coming round again
Oh it just keeps coming round agaaaaaaiiiinnnnn..."

Then, I heard voices swarming all around, singing in part with us the last remaining lyrics:

"I believe you could be
What I need to believe
I believe you could be
What I need to believe
I believe you could be..."

I landed my head on Papa's shoulder, comfortable. "Thank you, Papa," I whispered, fully content.

Papa grinned as he leaned to kiss my head, ruffling around my hair. "You're welcome, mi amore," he sang.

I began to feel the world blacken around me. I could feel my body begin to become weary, my eyes tired, wanting to shut. My energy was seeping out, the muscles loosened and I was up to the point of nearly collapsing. I clutched onto Papa, fighting my brain to stay awake but it was beginning to shut down my body. The world swung back and forth, drowsing me out...

"Papa," I begged, hugging him tighter. "I don't want to go..."

Papa gave me an uneasy smile. "Relax, mi amore," he said. "You're going to be healed now."

Fear flooded back inside me as I attempted to reopen my eyes, seeing what he meant. The world had begun to spiral and I fell into Papa's arms, slipping into the shadows of the unknown...





"(Y/n)?! (Y/n)! Wake up!"

I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and seeing my friend standing over me, waving her hands. I glanced around to see...I was in a hospital. My heart began to race as I gathered my surroundings.

"Whoa, are you all right?" my friend asked, as I bolted upright, swinging my head around.

I could feel tears swell in my eyes again. Was...that all a dream? Did Papa...ever dance with me? To think all that happened...

"Umm, earth to (y/n), are you...ok?"

I blinked my eyes, shaking my head and turning to my friend. "Hey, (f/n)...if you don't mind me asking...where did you find me?"

"Over in one of the stadium hallways," she answered. "You were passed out and I got...scared. So I brought you over here. I thought that blow to the nose dealt more serious damage than it should."

I touched my nose, seeing the original gauze was gone. It was wrapped up again only in tighter linen.

"Oh yeah, they had to re-fix that up, just to see how bad it was," my friend said. "Honestly, from how it looked, it wasn't that bad."

I felt victory leap with a thump in my heart. So it had to be real! It just had to be.

Before I could ask my friend more questions, there was a knock on the door. It was the doctor.

I did the best I could to remain calm, answering her questions while listening in on what she told me about the nose, the worriment of me breaking a vessel that could trigger me to pass out or me just dizzying out from the punch, etc.

"Just rest up for now," she said. "I will say though, from how you're looking...that nose is doing better than expected from what your friend told us."

I raised my eyebrow. "Umm...how?"

"Well, you must have a high immune system or healing because when we took off the gauzes, the broken part titled back to where it was," the doctor said. "Normally, it would take some time and pressure but your nose...just poof! Went back to normal. I don't know how but...you know, for now, let's be glad it's back to how it should be. However, just get some rest. I still wanna run some tests and x rays just to be safe if it dislocated a bone..."

As soon as she left, my friend bombard me with questions. Where was I? What was I doing? How did I even get all the way in the stadium hallways? Who I was with maybe? When did I pass out?

I answered them, being genuine as possible. I wanted to tell her about Papa and the dancing but...I knew either she wouldn't believe me or she would be extremely pissed. Both factors sounded too good to be true for whichever I picked. The knockout from the asshole had drained me to become crazy or where could I be so lucky to dance with Papa?

"Well, I'm glad you're safe," my friend said. "You had me really worried when you took off like that. I thought about calling the cops but then I figured, oh shit, if the cops go in, she might not be able to meet the band but then, the band already took off! Or what if we both get busted with that asshole? And then I went alone in and that's when I found you....that really scared me. I thought...you know..."

I sighed. "I'm sorry for making you worry like that. I probably should've called you but...my phone was on 1%. I didn't know how much time I had left on it."

"You could've still called me. It wouldn't matter, I would track you down with that Find My iPhone!"

I burst into laughter. "All right, fine then...can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"I promise not to run out on you like that...if in return, you can find me the next Ghost concert and I can pay for both our tickets. Because this was one of the best concerts I ever been to with my best friend."

My friend squealed in excitement as she raced over to hug me. "Will do!" she said, tapping away on her phone. "See? I told you how good they were! And Papa...oh my, what a man! I could just listen to his songs over and over. Wait, until you watch the interviews now, oh this is some good ones I got about..."

As she rambled on, there was a knock on the door. A nurse came in, holding a purple flower with a letter.

"Special delivery for (y/n)," he said, walking over to me. He handed me the flower and letter before taking off.

I glimpsed down to the flower, seeing it was a dark purple rose, all its soft petals delicately bloomed out with its stalk free of thorns. The letter was made of thin paper with inky cursive words and a golden ribbon wrapped around it.

I opened the letter, reading the words:

To (y/n),

Hope you are healed soon

Best wishes,

Papa

I held the paper nearer to my chest, smiling.

My friend raised her eyebrow. "Got a secret admirer?" she chuckled.

My face turned red. "Umm," I said, folding the letter away. "I umm..."

"Oh my gawd, why didn't you tell me? No wait, don't tell me, was it that guy who was really being super nice to us about the tickets? He was really cute too..."

"Hey, aren't you suppose to be looking up Ghost's next concert?"




It was hard for me to sleep when I got home the next few nights. Life was going great. I brushed pass the bullies, singing out loud the songs I liked. I put whatever I wanted to on, threw my makeup either too heavy or light, styled my hair...at this point, I just didn't care. I gave no shits to whoever wanted to say something about my look. It was what I liked and what I enjoyed.

And anytime I could, I blasted on Ghost songs, rocking my head out and dancing to each one.

The spirit within me was free. It broke against the barriers of those who downed me...now, I could be whoever I wanted to be.

However, I couldn't find who I wanted to thank for.

That time we danced, when he held my hand, joked to me, hugged me when I was crying...he was someone I wasn't going to see for a long while.

The flower he had sent me now stood over by my bedroom's window in a vase, blooming ever so beautifully...it had to be real. I danced with him! He led me over to the stage. There was no way this was all just some dream I had dreamt of. That blow to the nose couldn't have caused me to have some hallucinogenic experience.

I could feel him. I could feel the touch of his silky gloves twined with mine, his fresh, cold breath huffing across my face, the slimy wet kiss of his lips to my head, the heat of his body warming against mine and his eyes...that shimmering blue and mystical green eye...all bore into my soul.

My friend kept checking for dates but no luck promised us they would be back.

So I decided to wait. It was pitiful but I had no other choice.

I waited until one moonlit day. I had gotten home, tired from the day's work. I went to dress in the best though. I whipped out an outfit that matched all of my personality. I styled my hair and makeup, making sure they went together. Adding in some jewelry, I turned over to the mirror, smiling at my appearance.

I watered my vase, still amazed at my flower blooming, never withering away. I glanced outside, seeing the moon shine down upon me and the flower.

"I know that was real," I said, putting the water down. "I know what happened that night...you were there for me. You made me what I am now...and honestly, thank you. Thank you for reminding me there's nothing wrong with what I like and what I want to express those things I like. And if so, well...those people can fuck off about what I should be."

"Indeed, they do, mi amore..."

My mouth gapped as I turned around to see...him. He was standing near my bed, arms wide open. "Did you miss me?" he asked, winking.

My heart thumped rapidly. "How did you..."

"I have my ways," he giggled. "And yes...I am real. Does it not matter that I have come to receive your thanks?"

Immediately, I dashed over to him and threw my arms around him. I began to sob into his jacket. "Thank you," I cried. "Thank you...for everything. For making me believe. For healing me. For making that night the best. Thank you, Papa. I...thought I'd never see you again."

"And why wouldn't I want to see the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on again?" Papa chuckled, titling my head up. "And...you're welcome for everything, mi amore. Remmeber, Goth women like you...there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful creatures of darkness. You are loved. You are treasured."

"Papa," I mewed, still sniffing. "Papa..."

"My dear (y/n)," he purred, hugging me closer to him, grasping my chin to face him. "Would you like to dance again?"

I nodded, happily accepting. And we danced in my room, to the moonlight's gleam upon us, the flower scenting its fragrance up into the air, the singing of Papa's voice soothing my ears...

And when I glanced up to Papa's face and he looked at mine, he leaned down to kiss me. On the lips.

It was another night I was going to cherish forever.

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 22, 2019 ⏰

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