jeongguk used to be scared of the dark. it's funny, now, how it no longer bothers him. his shoes crunch in the snow. he can feel the wind blowing harshly against his bare arms and messing up his hair.
he doesn't have a coat. all he's got is a knife he grabbed from the kitchen, and a flashlight he hasn't turned on. he knows his way to the wall. he's never been there, but he knows.
it's at the edge of town, away from everything else. jeongguk approaches it, switching on the flashlight and pointing it at the top of the wall, scanning the names as he moves the light down. he catches a few names of kids he used to know from the orphanage.
he pauses at the words 'kim namjoon' and 'kim seokjin', both carved in a way that jeongguk can tell the carver's hands were shaking. he can imagine it; both hoseok and yoongi crying as they carve their dead friends' names into the wall.
jeongguk grips the knife a little tighter. he gets closer to the wall and swallows, running his fingers across the smooth stone that would soon hold the name of his best friend.
he brings the knife up and begins carving letters into the stone. he doesn't need the flashlight to see what he's doing. he makes no mistakes. his hands don't shake as he cries, finishing the letter 'g'.
he steps back and points the flashlight. there, on the stone wall, is taehyung.
jeongguk falls into the snow, lying on his back as he wipes his tears. the knife has fallen somewhere in the snow, along with the flashlight.
jeongguk feels the pain tearing his heart into pieces again. it's too real. taehyung is gone. it's irreversible now — the name on the wall, carved by jeongguk's own hands, and he can't erase it.
his eyes watch the stars, a memory surfacing, a memory that makes him smile through his tears...
"jeongguk!" taehyung shakes him awake.
jeongguk blinks his eyes open. "tae?"
there's no light outside. jeongguk doesn't know what time it is.
"guk, c'mon, wake up," taehyung shakes him a bit more. "we're gonna miss it!"
"miss... what?"
"the stars, guk. get up."
jeongguk is up, rubbing at his eyes. taehyung shoves blanket into his arms. in taehyung's arms are a lantern and a blanket.
jeongguk follows him down the stairs and out the door, awake now. taehyung stops when they are in the middle of a field, laying the blanket down. jeongguk follows his actions, finally realizing what taehyung wants to do.
stargazing.
they both lay down on their blankets, next to each other. it isn't a warm night, for sometimes a breeze would come, brushing over them like a cold, yet comforting embrace. it isn't cold, because they're next to each other, sharing each other's warmth.
taehyung sighs. jeongguk watches his face, which is illuminated with a soft glow from the lantern laying a few feet away.
"you know what?" taehyung asks, turning to look at jeongguk.
"what?"
"you've got stars in your eyes, gukkie," taehyung says, staring intently at jeongguk's eyes.
"do i?" jeongguk asks, amused. "you've got stardust on your cheeks."
"my freckles?" taehyung reaches a hand up and gently brushes a finger on his own cheek, as if he could feel the small stars on his face.
"do you think the whole universe is covered in stars?" he whispers.
"dunno, tae. i hope it is. they're pretty."
the both of them turn their heads away from each other, watching the stars twinkle in the sky, which would be dark and dull without them. stars are spread across the sky like glitter. jeongguk likes to believe each star is a person.
"guk, look! a shooting star!"
taehyung points at it. jeongguk grabs taehyung's hand and intertwines their fingers.
"make a wish," he says.
they both close their eyes, wishing. they lay in silence, eyes closed. jeongguk shuffles closer to taehyung, resting his head on taehyung's chest.
as taehyung speaks, jeongguk feels his voice reverberate in his chest, like a lullaby.
"what'd you wish for?" his voice is deep. soothing. jeongguk has to stop himself from falling asleep in order to answer.
if it were anyone else, he wouldn't tell what he wished for. but this is taehyung, his best friend, his other half. there are no secrets. they tell each other everything.
"i wished for us to be friends forever," jeongguk mumbles sleepily. "what about you?"
"i wished for you to be happy, no matter what."
"what about your happiness?" jeongguk can barely keep himself awake. his words are so slurred, he doesn't know how taehyung can understand them. but taehyung always understands jeongguk.
"i'd sacrifice my happiness for yours any day, guk."
with the thought of them being happy, having this friendship forever, jeongguk falls asleep in taehyung's embrace.
it's cold.
jeongguk tells himself it's because he's lying in snow.
he knows it's because taehyung isn't with him.
taehyung, with his beautiful sun-kissed skin, star dust covered cheeks, chocolate eyes, and honey colored hair.
jeongguk misses his best friend.
he stares at the stars. the clouds cover most of them. he can only see a few.
one shining particularly bright catches his eye.
it's taehyung, he knows. taehyung is still with him. taehyung is watching him, staring back down at him.
jeongguk feels a little warmer. it's because, right now, taehyung is smiling, up in the stars. taehyung's smiles were warm. it's familiar.
jeongguk falls asleep as his star, taehyung, w̸͚͋̔̄͑̃̌̆a̶̳͈͊͋͝ẗ̷̡́͂̐̕c̴̣̘̯͎̬̯͇̗̙̝͌̈́̓͐͑̒͒̅h̵̫͆̇̑̔͆ȅ̴͔͔̰͋̅̆s̶̨̧̘͈̤̻͇͓̒̏͊̑̆̌̈́̀͜ over him.
