Mirrors

Prologue

"Would you come back and see us again?" A little girl with curly hair and eyes so beautiful you could lose yourself in them took my hands and asked me the same question I had once asked a pretty lady several years ago.

That question marked the beginning of my optimism, because to me, that woman was my ticket to serenity. I was so young then, but I wanted someone to talk to, someone who would assure me that I would have a future and that woman, with a smile so porcelain was willing to give me all that, or so I thought.

I studied the little girl's eyes again, wishing I could take her with me, to help her have a life different from the one she was living, but then I felt the same if I looked at the rest of them too, dressed carelessly in tattered clothes and I could not  afford to take them all. I crouched down to meet her height and took her chubby hands in mine.

"You're so pretty, What's your name?"

She smiled adoringly, their smiles were all adoring. But she did not tell me her name, she stared at the ring on my finger and caressed it like she had never seen something as beautiful as it.

"Do you want it?" I removed it and placed it on one of her fingers.

"Not really, it looks beautiful, you're so kind, Will you come visit us again?" She asked me again.

"I will In Shaa Allah, As often as I can"

"You promise?"

"I promise, now tell me your name pretty angel" She smiled and shyly tiptoed away from me without telling me her name.

I followed her to the matron's room, it was dimly lit but I could still see her sparkling eyes, they were so enthralling and still kept me wishing I could take her, but how could I? When I was seen as an unwanted pest too. I had to change my situation first before thinking of changing their own.

"Her eyes are captivating aren't they? Just like yours, if not because you don't know where you're from, I'd say she's your little sister" The matron chuckled.

I smiled trying to adjust my jilbaab. The matron was right, the girl was a replica of me but it was just a coincidence, we do have a lot of lookalikes in the world.

"Can I see your ring again?" Seeing me talking with the matron made the girl less tensed. She carefully took my hands in her own and began examining my ring, looking so awed.

"She's still trying to cope, she was brought in two months ago, found in a forest after a car crash, both parents are dead and there's still no family claiming her" The matron explained casually, like she was not telling me something so dreadful.

I nodded, not wanting to continue the conversation in front of the little girl.

"She looks about four years old, what is her name?" I asked after a while.

"Her name is Batool, that was what she told us anyway, but I guess she's still too shocked to tell us more about herself, the parents seem to be travelling from Sokoto, the authorities have contacted the state but still there's no news"

"Poor child" I sighed smoothening her hair.

"Can we go outside and play" She grinned at me, like she had no idea what the matron and I were discussing.

"Well Amrah, Looks like Batool likes you, you're the only one she's opened up to this much, please do spend more time with them"

And like I had no things to do, I entwined our hands and walked us to the backyard, where the rest of the kids were playing. They all rushed towards me chanting 'Aunty'. This was my third visit to their home, but they seem to be fond of me as much as I was of them.

All of them wanted to tell me a story. I was so good with children, amidst them, all my worries dissipate. I had been longing to have mine, but there was no way I could bring someone to this cruel world, not with the kind of life I was living. Some years ago, I dreamt of leaving my home and I achieved that but it was my biggest mistake in life, though staying in my home would have made life much more miserable than it was already. I still don't know which to choose, my former life, or the life I was living now.

"Let's all sit, and I'll hear Abdul's story first" I clapped sitting on the mat one of the workers had spread for us.

There was so much stench coming from the bathrooms of the little orphanage but it did not stop me from staying longer, to chat more with the beautiful children, staying with them made me feel at home. I felt among, I see myself in them, I was one of them and I will forever be one of them.

These innocent souls with so much unfulfilled dreams were my mirrors.

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I hope you will support me through this also.

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Jazakumullahu khairan.