Mirrors

Chapter Two

AMRAH...

Some days after my birthday, Maama started looking so pale, but she still had that beautiful smile, it did not falter. She thought we would not notice her fatigue, but if any of the girls did not, I did fathom how she had been becoming lean and so distant. For we were so close, and I already knew how to read her, her smile when she was so happy and when she was in distress and was trying to hide it from us. I knew it all.

Saliha and I were working on the garden, admiring the flowers getting bathed by the sun. They shone bright making me recall what Maama taught us about photosynthesis during biology class the other week. The sun was to the flowers just as Maama was to us. She was our sun.

"Saliha" I tapped her shoulders to get her attention.

"Yes Amrah" She answered dropping the scissors she was using.

"I am worried about Maama, something is bothering her, don't you think she looks sick" I trembled, remembering Maama's face that morning. She rarely got sick and seeing her that way had terrified me.

Saliha stared at me thoughtfully, not wanting to let me know she was worried too. She was always like that, soothing.

"Well, maybe she's got a headache or something, don't get all worked up, Maama will be fine"

"In shaa Allah" I assured myself, entwining my fingers with Saliha's own while we walk back to the house.

Little home had small number of rooms, with beautiful interior. The house was always warm and cozy. It was not like other orphanage. I doubt if any of the girls ever wished to live a life outside of it. But I did, I did not know why, but there was this hope I held unto.

We trudged to the kitchen to keep the garden equipments we used. Umma, one of our maids was with some girls, teaching them how to make some pastries, she invited us to tag along but I wanted to see Mama, so I gave an excuse and rushed to Maama's office to check up on her. Maama did not mind having us in there, unless she had some visitors.

"Assalamu Alaikum Maama" I greeted her and got seated on the chaise lounge.

She was on her desk, checking a file, but she was so distant, her attention was not on the file at all, could something serious be bothering her? I thought before calling her name again.

"Maama"

"Oh Amrah dear" She said startlingly.

Her eyes were forlorn when she glanced at me. She wanted to say something but then changed her mind and diverted her eyes to the tree outside her window. I always loved that tree, it was gigantic, with huge branches and leaves that give us shed when we want to play during a sunny day, under it was surprisingly a serene place, with a cool atmosphere, unlike the rest of little home, where you must hear the chatter of children.

"Maama are you okay?" My lips were trembling, I was trying my best not to start crying.

"You're too inquisitive and determined Amrah, I am just sick, I don't want you girls to be worried about me okay? Everything will be fine" She gestured for me to come to her.

I stood in front of her and she took my hand, trying her best to smile but her voice betrayed her emotions because she quickly wiped a lone tear falling off from her tired eyes.

"But...but..." I tried speaking but my voice got muffled by my sobs.

Maama held me tight, like she was not even sure of the assurance she just gave me.

"Shh Amrah, You don't have to cry, I told you I will be fine, everything will be fine"

Maama knew I was the closest to her and if anything were to happen I would be the most devastated. I wiped my tears, assuring myself that perhaps it was just a slight fever and Maama would be up and about in no time.

But days went by and we still were not having classes. Maama was always locked inside her room and several people dressed in white uniforms saddled with lots of medical equipments usually came to visit her. I became so worried, unable to eat or even play with the rest of the children. We all wanted to see Maama and no one was allowing us to. So one day after praying Subh, all the girls gathered at my corner of the room and we made a plan. Six of us were to go for reading under the tree beside Maama's room and I was to go inside the room through her window. Two girls helped me and Saliha climb up the tree, while another two kept guard. The plan was for Saliha to prop me up so I could enter the room and also alert me when the girls tell her someone was coming.

Our plan was successful, but the sight of Maama made me numb for several minutes, Saliha had to remind me that we had no time, so I walked to Maama. She had no idea I was inside her room, she was attached to so many machines and tubes that scared the hell out of me.

"Maama" I whispered, taking her hands into mine. They were so cold and thin. How could she change so much within days?

She opened her eyes and adjusted them to the dim lit room. When she saw me, she smiled, it was croaked but still it was the smile we all missed so much.

"Amrah, my darling" She said, her voice was so slow that I had to reach so close.

"Maama, they refused to let us see you, why didn't you tell us you're so sick? Maama you told me everything will be alright, we miss you so much, you told me you'd be fine, why did you not tell me you're so sick, Maama please don't leave us" I broke down, clutching her so tight.

I heard her heaving so I quickly let go of her. She was not stopping her tears this time, she was softly crying, so we held each other and just cried, silently.

"Amrah" I heard Saliha whispering my name, so I walked to the window, and answered her.

"You've got to hurry, Khadijah said Umma looked at them suspiciously, they think she might walk to the tree any moment"

"I'll be out soon Saliha, give me just few minutes" I said hurrying back to Maama's bed.

Maama smiled at me and I held her hands again, not wanting to let go, because I don't know when next I would get to hold her again.

"Amrah, I am so sorry, tell all the girls I miss you so much and I will see you all soon in shaa Allah, tell them..." She sighed trying to catch her breath.

"Tell them to pray for Maama okay? Tell them I love them" She sniffed.

"Maama, please do me a favour? Tell Umma to let us see you, just once, all the girls are worried" I bit my lip in an attempt to stop my sobs.

I never forgot Maama's face when she told me about her terminal illness and asked me to promise her that we would all be good girls. I climbed down her window sobbing like a lost puppy. And amidst tears I told them how sick Maama was, and the tubes I saw attached to her body, most of the girls including Saliha also started crying and when Umma came to call us to have our lunch, our eyes were all puffy.

"Girls, why are you looking so sad, I know you all want to see Maama, you will see her soon I promise, she is just a bit sick but she will be alright" She calmed us down thinking we all cried because we were missing Maama, not knowing we were already aware of how sick Maama was and most of us who were old enough to understand what a terminal illness was were already pessimistic.

I signalled with my eyes, urging them not to tell Umma what we know, before walking back into the house to eat lunch. We met the rest of the girls at the dining hall. Their eyes were all on me and I knew they were all waiting to ask me if our plan worked and I got to see Maama.

*******************************************

EID MUBARAK PEOPLE.

I AM SO SORRY I ABANDONED THIS BOOK

I HAD A MASSIVE WRITER'S BLOCK AND I'M STILL TRYING TO GET OVER IT.

I HOPE YOU'LL STILL FOLLOW.

THANK YOU

KALTHUMM  ❤️❤️