Born To Die

XVII: However Long Forever Is

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However Long Forever Is

"Come to bed, Rose."

She did. Slowly. Carefully. Bradley's words were like gravity to her, drawing her ever so close to him. He was sat on the edge of her bed, and she moved to stand between his thighs, breath catching a little at such close proximity. This had all felt different.

Very different.

Too close.

Too intimate.

Too. . . final.

They somehow managed to make it back to her house, which was something to be grateful for, Rose supposed. She wondered if this would be the last time she would step foot in it.

As she stopped just before him, Rose found that he looked at her just as he used to. The emotion in Bradley's eyes was achingly sincere. Absolute reverence so familiar that it stung. She had to glance away, his smile slipping. He took her chin and guided her back to look at him, the question in his eyes but not on his lips.

He needed her truth, and she needed his assurance.

After a moment of silently struggling with herself, she finally forced herself to give and receive each of these things.

"For years, I felt like. . ." Rose's voice, hoarse from lack of use, strained out the words, "I still feel like I'm not good enough, like I'm never going to measure up to what people expect me to be. I feel like I don't deserve you."

At first, she feared he might laugh at her, insist that she was being foolish. Or perhaps dramatic, even. But he didn't. Of course he didn't.

Bradley's brow furrowed, and the reverence of his brown eyes only sharpened, piercing into her. His hands flowed over her with purpose, feeling her solidity, her presence. He slid up her body, over her hips to her shoulders, so that he could stroke her hair with his rough fingertips, slowly smoothing back the strands that fell into the ocean that was her eyes. He lightly tugged at the loose ends as if to test this part of her as well, smiling somewhat melancholically as he tangled into the mess that was her.

"You deserve everything good in this life."

She was seen. She was enough.

She had never believed someone more.

Then, moving very softly, Bradley took her quivering face into his rough palms, dipped his head and then stopped. Waiting. For her.

"Show me."

Once again, it was a challenge. It was a request.

Bradley couldn't deny Rose anything.

He kissed her, very slowly, on the lips.

It was deeper and far more thorough than their first kiss. More desperate. She felt the rush of it, all the way down to her toes. Suddenly, they desired each other in a way they had never felt before, a shocking feat in itself. Her grip on his shoulders was tight, and his fingers pressed into her cheeks as he pulled her somehow even closer.