My Bijou! A Maylor Love Story

Let Us Cling Together..Part 1

15 April 1975

Hawaii

Roger's POV

"I think I could stay here forever..." I told Brian as I laid on my stomach in the lounge chair by the pool. The sun was beating down on my bare back and it made me feel warm and content. A little sleepy even. I turned my head and looked over at him sitting up with his book in his hands and he was looking at me intently. He set his book on the table and moved to lay down in his chair. I saw him look around and he leaned down close to me.

"This climate suits you. You're beautiful in the sunlight.." Brian told me in a soft whisper and I wanted to kiss him for saying it. He was almost close enough for me to do it. But I didn't. We were at a pool at the hotel and there were people nearby. Not close enough to hear our words but close enough to notice one man kissing another. I let go of my urge and smiled at him as he moved back onto his lounge chair. He picked up his book but stood up from the chair and yawned.

"I'm going for shower and a nap..." he told me as he slipped his t-shirt on and grabbed his towel. He did look sedated from the afternoon sun and I knew he had not been sleeping well for weeks. Neither of us have.

"I'll see you later.." I told him and he nodded and grabbed the heel of my foot and tickled it before he walked off. I knew he was trying to tell me he loved me. It made me smile again. I turned over in the chair onto my back and watched him walk back into the hotel. He had a bit of sun on his skin and his hair was puffy and messy from swimming and drying afterwards. I was grateful to have him in my life; even though I haven't been acting like it lately. We have struggled these past few weeks and I know it was mostly my fault. I have been a complete shit to him and I knew it. When I found out about the baby I was freaked out and in disbelief for a while and Brian had been nothing but supportive and comforting. Once the reality of it hit me my anger crept in and I have battled between a desire to drive my car into a brick wall or drive it over Kim. I have taken my frustration and stress out on Brian. It hasn't been pretty and I'm not proud of it. We haven't told anyone else about this mess so we only have each other to talk to and I haven't been open to talking much. I did at first but when Brian started asking me about things I didn't want to think about I shut him down. It had caused major tension and some distance between us. I haven't invited Brian to stay in my room with me for a few weeks. I'm avoiding the frank discussion I know is long overdue. He has been nice about it. Giving me space. But I know we all have our limits. I miss him and I know he misses me. Well..maybe the less shitty version of me.

I laid in my chair and watched the other people at the pool. There were people from different nationalities and I admired the beauty and uniqueness of each. A middle aged Asian man came out of the hotel carrying a pile of towels and a blow up swim ring in his arms. I saw a chubby little girl run up behind him. She grabbed onto his leg and giggled as they trotted over to a grouping of lounge chairs and he set his stuff down. The girl was a toddler, I guess. Maybe 3 years old. Her black hair was short and cut in a bob. I'm sure it was her father as they looked alike. He moved to climb into the pool and she walked over to the pool side as he went down the ladder. He stood in the shallow end and reached up for her. She leaned into him and fell into his arms. She giggled as he caught her and brought her in to the pool. I noticed the enchanted look on the girl's face and the joy her father had in doing something as simple as taking her swimming. My head swam with mixed emotions witnessing the best version of fatherhood. This made it seem simple and I knew it wasn't. I decided to ignore the example being set for me and looked over to the deeper end of the pool and saw Freddie talking to John Harris as they floated in the water. It was his last day in Hawaii before he had to take our road crew over to Japan so he was making the most of the amenities before he left. Deacy had taken the opportunity of being off for ten days to fly home so he and Ronnie could find a new place to live. He planned to move as soon as we got some from touring. He was returning tomorrow so he could join us on our flight to Japan in a few days.  My thoughts were interrupted by a crackling sound on the intercom and a voice came over the speaker.