Just a Baby in a Trench Coat

Chapter 9 ~ To Comfort a Lost Brother

You couldn't sit on clouds. At least, you couldn't sit on clouds in one's human form. Here, Castiel was half-and-half. Half light and energy and angel, and half mass and full and human. It was a trick Balthazar had taught him. The breeze was light, and Castiel wished he could feel the wind on his feathers. Like a bird. When balancing between the two planes, one could not feel their surroundings very well and so Castiel thought back to Aubrey. The little girl, who had selflessly given Castiel her prized red ribbon, had questioned about the clouds. When he had been left in the sand, the girl had talked non-stop and it had been dizzying to him at the time. She would talk to him, not expecting any conversation in return, and her questions had made him smile. Her wonder and curiosity were infectious. Castiel played with the ribbon in his fingers, thinking back to her various forms of advice. She had taken it upon herself to teach Castiel all the grown-up things of being a four-year old.

"One thing you must always remember," she had said as she gave Cas the ribbon, "is that your friends will always love you. When I got my baby brother, all my friends wanted to play with him and see him and I thought that they loved him more. But they didn't. They still loved me, even though I couldn't see it. Sometimes love is something you can't see. But it's still there. Yeah, it's still there." she had paused and then added, "and if that doesn't help just get a doggie because doggies are the best."

Love. Of course Castiel had heard of this before-- it's mentioned in the bible about their father. Yet, he thought about the "love" he had seen. The love the angels used had been cruel and tainted and not love at all. That couldn't be the love Aubrey referred to. Cas had seen humans use it too. It seemed almost destructive. But that couldn't be what Aubrey referred to either. What type of love was she advising about?

"Hey, Cassy." Castiel turned to see Gabriel balancing horribly between the planes, "Oof, oh I have not done anything like this in a while."

Castiel rolled his eyes before saying, "Stabilize your wings and drift."

Gabriel glared before relaxing his wings a little and finally coming to rest on the cloud beside Castiel. There was a moment of silence before Gabriel asked, "Did, uh, did Balthy teach ya this?"

Castiel didn't answer.

"Yeah, okay, that's fair I guess." Gabriel waited, for once being patient. Castiel glanced over and noticed Gabriel's wings were trashy looking, as if he hadn't groomed them in centuries. Which seemed out of place for an angel with such an ego.

"Hey, I know you don't really like me, and I guess I deserve that-- I mean, I have been kind of a dick and--"

"Understatement." cut off Castiel in a dead tone. He could thank Gabriel for saving Dean, but after that old wounds were starting to be prodded at and Castiel did not want to rehash those right now.

Gabriel huffed, "Okay. Again, fair, but-- hey! I'm here now."

"Doesn't change the fact you weren't there for us when you needed to be." Castiel cut to it. When Gabriel had left, all of his fledgling brothers and sisters had been at a loss of what to do. While searching for another person to learn under, half had gone to Michael and the others to Lucifer. Castiel had gone to Balthazar.

"Look, what was I supposed to do? Dad was AWOL and Michael and Lucifer were at it and--"

"And you should have stopped them. You should have stayed."

Gabriel didn't answer for a moment before a very quiet, "You're probably right."

Castiel waited before asking, "What are you even doing here, Gabriel."

A beat passed, "I'm trying to fix things I guess. You were always my favorite after Balthy" he added playfully as he nudged Castiel. It didn't work very well as their energies clashed and Gabriel lost all balance and went tumbling down before not-so-gracefully recovering.

"Jesus Cas, memo received that you're still pissed as hell."

That made him smirk as he hopped off his cloud and flapped his wings to stretch. He caught Gabriel staring and muttering a small, "wow". Despite everything Castiel had gone through, his wings were the most important thing to him. He spent many hours keeping them in good shape. He was as meticulous with his wings as the Winchesters were with their guns.

Suddenly, Gabriel got an evil glint in his eyes as he rushed Castiel. The youngest barely managed to dodge, and Gabriel laughed, "Your fighting is weak up here, small-fry. You're out of practice."

Castiel grinned evilly in return as he pushed up and grabbed Gabriel's ankle before spinning them, hurtling Gabriel downwards. The eldest, caught off-guard, barely got his wings under him in time to dodge his diving attack.

"Not as out of practice as you, apparently."

Gabriel shook his finger at Castiel as they both smiled and launched towards one another. The two spared, both aware they were rusty. The dives and dodges weren't as deft, and Gabriel made several sloppy mistakes. He had never truly fought in flight before. The only veteran of flight combat was Castiel. Balthazar would have kicked both their asses for being unpracticed.

At the end, they were both out of breath and Gabriel finally had to call time because his wings were starting to falter. It was then that Castiel realized how long it had been since Gabriel had flown.

"I got to admit, small-fry," Gabriel said panting, "You really got me that time."

Castiel felt a weird sort of pride at besting his brother. It had been a while since he had felt any familial connection to another angel. Of course, it had also been a while since the angels had acted like a family.

"Don't tell the Winchesters I'm this out of shape or they'll never let me join your band." he whined as the two set down across the street from the motel.

"You want to join the Winchesters?" asked Castiel, honestly surprised. Gabriel immediately perked up, realizing he slipped as he said, "I, uh, yes? Sort of. On conditions. I'm not, like, gonna be their bitch or anything."

Castiel stared at his brother for a moment, "Why?"

Gabriel grumbled something about 'nosy' before saying, "Cause why not, right? Things have gotten a little slow, ya know? You can only bang strippers for so long before getting bored. Besides, Sam has been asking me things non-stop and I'd hate to disappoint."

Castiel had the sense to know Gabriel wasn't telling the whole truth, but decided to leave it. If Gabriel was looking for redemption, then maybe the Winchesters could help him find it.