A Little Bit of Everything

Chapter 1

I don't like waking up early in the morning. In my personal opinion, it should be completely banned. What if I one day invented a machine that would wake people up at exactly nine in the morning, and if one woke up earlier than that or later than that (even by a millisecond!) the machine would have an extended hand to go out of its core (like the ones we see in cartoons, with the gloved hand) and slap the person awake. If I'm feeling a little more sadistic, it would be a hand with leather that feels just like human skin, with a tiny little fake pulse on both thumbs, so it feels much more realistic. 

I would love to make a machine like that, but here the chickens with their tiktilaoks would wake us up anyway. It was infuriating when this one Saturday morning I was sleeping in, dead tired from school, when my neighbor's freaking chicken did the tiktilaok so loudly I jumped out of bed, in position to fight someone. I'll have you know that I studied martial arts for about three weeks two years ago. Sure I was absent 3/4ths of the time, but you get the idea; I knew how to fight.

I'm getting a little carried away, so let's continue.

There are a lot of things I don't like. My psychiatrist, Dr. Perez, once said that I have a lot of pent up anger and emotion, which I think isn't very true. Don't we all have pent up anger and emotion? So why am I being singled out here? I'm not shooting up schools or anything like that, obviously. Dr. Perez said that I should list down ten things that make me mad on this little piece of paper she found on her desk in the clinic.

"Only ten?" I asked her. "What if the things that make me mad are more than ten?"

"Just your top ten things that make you mad, then."

"Would ten be the worst or one be the worst?"

"Beatrice, don't ask me pointless questions."

"It's not a pointless question if there is a logical answer to it."

Sigh. "Ten would be the most tolerable then."

I don't like it when she sighs. She makes me feel like I made a big mistake, and I feel that all the time since Mom died. Feeling that way makes me feel like I'm wearing heavy shoes. I like that term, heavy shoes. I feel like I wear them every day.

Here is the list of things that make me mad. After that session with Dr. Perez, I took the slip of paper from her table when she wasn't looking (I don't think she saw me but one can never be sure) and here it is.

TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME MAD

By Beatrice Sumulong

10. People who chew with their mouth open.

9. People who push other people in the LRT.

8. Things that are useless (like novelty items or Happy Meals, obviously)

7. Traffic in the highway after school.

6. Teachers who give homework on Fridays.

5. Overpriced items, like watercolor pencils (that aren't even Faber Castel!)

4. People who don't take care of their pets.

3. People who blow smoke on your face.

2. People who steal money from the poor.

1. People who kill innocent journalists.