be my first || johnyong

eighteen

"Shit," Sehun muttered into the silence Taeyong left behind. "I really fucked that up. I wasn't even thinking."

He glanced over at Johnny.

"I'll go after him."

Johnny shook his head in a quick movement.

"No. I'll go."

Sehun sighed.

"Sorry, man."

"God, we both handled that badly. I should've told him that you and I talked."

Johnny rubbed a hand over his face and groaned.

"I'm gonna go."

He was halfway down the hall when he realized his fly was still open. He paused to do it up quickly.

"Christ."

Five minutes ago Taeyong had been pressed against him, looking so blissfully happy Johnny had been willing to give him anything he wanted.

But the expression on his face when he'd realized that Sehun had known about them all along...

God, that was going to stick with Johnny for a while.

_

"Taeyong..."

Johnny sighed.

Taeyong didn't even look at him as he hauled himself up onto the bed.

"What do you want?" Taeyong's voice was raspy.

From the sound of it, Johnny could tell he'd been crying, and it made his stomach twist with remorse.

"We have to talk, Baby."

Taeyong sighed softly and sat up.

Right then, Johnny feeling too damn guilty. And the look on Taeyong's face wasn't helping.

"I'm tired of talking hyung," Taeyong said flatly.

"Well, just listen then."

Johnny brushed bangs off of his forehead and scooted a bit closer to where Taeyong sat.

"I know you're upset, and I don't blame you. I should've told you that I talked to your brother. But it didn't happen the way you think it did."

Taeyong made a scornful noise.

"Look, I have too much respect for your brother—and you—to try to keep this a secret from him. He could tell something was on my mind, and when he asked me about it, I couldn't lie to him."

"And, so, what? He asked you to do me a favor?"

"He did tell me he wanted me to do what you asked," Johnny admitted. "But because he trusts me, and he loves you. I know we were wrong not to tell you, but—"

"So that's the only reason you did it, hyung?" Taeyong asked thickly. "Just because he asked you to?"

"No, Taeyong, I—"

"And did you lie when you said you loved me, too, hyung? Or did you just mean you love me as a friend?" Taeyong's voice rose with every word. "Did you say it back because you felt sorry for me?"

"Taeyong!"

Johnny gripped Taeyong's shoulders and shook him lightly.

"Stop. You have to let me finish, okay? Don't keep jumping to conclusions."

Taeyong's eyes gleamed with moisture, and he looked like he wanted to say more.

After a moment, though, he bit his lip and nodded.

Johnny kept their gazes locked as he said, "Your brother didn't ask me to have sex with you as a favor to him. He asked because he could tell I wanted you too."

Taeyong blinked.

"You did?"

Johnny nodded.

"I did. I do. I told you not to doubt it."

"How could I not doubt it, hyung?" Taeyong reached up and grabbed his wrists. "The way Sehun hyung said it... well, what was I supposed to think?"

"I know. It sounded bad." Johnny sighed softly. "It was my fault for not telling you. We thought you'd be embarrassed if you knew, but that's no excuse."

Taeyong seemed to consider his words for a moment.

"Yeah, I... I probably would have been. I get your reasons, hyung, I just..."

Taeyong trailed off and released Johnny's wrists. His arms wrapped around Johnny's waist and he leaned in to rest his head on Johnny's shoulder.

"We both should've been more honest with each other."

"Yeah."

Johnny ran his hands down Taeyong's back and drew him closer.

"I do love you, Baby. As a friend, yes, but more than that, too. I was thinking, when we get back to Uni, maybe you can move in with me and Sehun. You could share my room."

Taeyong lifted his head and looked at Johnny, surprise clearly written on his features.

"You want me to move in with you, hyung? You want to be with me even when we get to school?"

Johnny laughed quietly.

"Yes to both. Don't look so shocked. Isn't that what you want, too?"

"Of course!"

"So then move in with me. We'll save your parents some money on room and board."

Taeyong grinned.

"I bet they'll love that."

"It's not going to be free, though," Johnny said, keeping both his tone and expression serious.

"Oh, no?" Taeyong's eyebrows went up. "You're gonna charge me?"

"Yep."

"And what's it gonna cost me?"

"I have an entire list of acceptable forms of payment," Johnny answered with a smirk.

Taeyong burst out laughing.

"You know, you still haven't claimed your prize. Are you adding that to the list?"

"Oh, no. Be ready. I'm claiming that right now."

Johnny grinned and kissed his bestfriend's brother.  Well... his boyfriend now.

"Lee Taeyong. You're mine."

END.