Darkness - a self harm and depressed inflicted fanfic

Chapter Ten stooch

-Allie's P.O.V-

As I stare into Alex's eyes, I feel mine start to water. He just got charged for it. Emmalie's flipping shit since she's pissed off that she didn't get charged. Lochlan doesn't even care that Alex got charged. He just wanted to ruin someone's life. Alex is staying in custody tonight which leaves me having anxiety. I know that he'll be okay but I won't. Every time life gets better, something gets worst. The worst part, mum is with my aunty in Vegas and my brother went to camp with his girlfriend so the deal is, if I'm home alone I need to be with someone. Considering as people know my self harm story they don't take any chances. So I'm staying with my Uncle Glen. I hate him. He's tall, skinny as fuck, tattooed covered and bald. He scares me. He abuses me. He, he's my enemy.

As I open the door to enter Uncle Glen's house he automatically stares at me, with cold, dark, deep eyes. I feel his eyes penetrating into my soul. I don't know how to react so I just quickly walk in. He grabbed my arm as soon as he could.

"Well hello dear." Uncle Glen sneered, squeezing my wrist.

"H-h-hi." I stuttered out. Shit.

He smirked. Demonically. "Stuttering now are we?" He asked rhetorically.

"Sorry sir." I said softly, he knows he has clear dominance over me. He could easily kill me. As much as I hate this fuck and no matter how many bruises he's given me, no one ever believes me when I tell them all the fucked up shit he's done to me.

"Does it hurt when I squeeze you right where you use to cut, emo." He sneered.

"Cutting doesn't make me emo." I muttered.

"Did you just back sass me you little, insignificant, fat, worthless piece of shit?!" He yelled angrily in my ear. My heart rate starting beating uncontrollably and his pressure built even more on my wrist.

"Ouch!! Let go! Please! I'm sorry!" I begged in pain. He only tightened his grip and smirked at me watching me howl out in pain.

"You're pathetic. You deserve nothing." He sneered. Finally releasing my wrist but pushing me onto the hard, cold floorboards. I hid my face in my hands and sobbed.

"You should of been aborted at birth." He hissed, kicking me in the ribs and leaving. After 5 minutes of uncontrollable crying, I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the floor.

While I was on the floor, clutching onto my ribs, I dug through the cabinets on the search for bleach. I just wanted to end it there and then. But I didn't find any bleach. I found a sharpener though. I pulled out the blade and made a fist. I dragged the cold, sharp blade against my hip bones. Why my hipbones? Because no one looks there. The burning sensation was so overpowering I felt like I was going to black out but I continued to do one more cut. This one was deeper and it was most likely to scar greater.

All I want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because it's killing me inside. I use to never hurt myself. I use to never hate myself and most of all, I use to never be depressed and suicidal. Now, the small cuts become big ones. I know everyone has a secret, but mine is that I want to die. Apart of me is already dead. It died with my childhood, it died after all the beatings. The thing is, I don't care how stupid I look, how "emo" my family make me feel. I just want to die. They tell me tomorrow will be better but the truth is, I don't even want to be here for tomorrow.

At 10pm, Uncle Glen called me downstairs. He was in the kitchen on the dining table eating.

"Eat." He demanded but not giving me eye contact.

"I'm not hungry." I stated though my voice was still soft and fragile.

"I didn't ask if you were. I told you something, so fucking do it." He yelled looking up at me with harsh, cruel, angry eyes and grabbed a fork and stabbed in dead centre of the hard wooden table.

"Okay." I obeyed. I sat down across from him and started to eat the meal he prepared. Chicken and potatoes.

He sighed. "Allie, you know I don't mean to be horrible. But it's just the only way to teach you."

"Okay." I said simply.

"I didn't mean it, you do deserve to live."

"No I don't. You have killed me in the worst way because I'm still alive." I mused looking down at my food and poking around it.

"Allie." He warned.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what nyctophilia is?" He asked.

"No...?"

"It's like a weird disorder. I call it a disorder at least. It's the love of darkness or night. Finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness." He answered.

"Oh."

"That's you all over." He mused. Hmm I wonder why.

"You know, maybe the rain is our tears during our cloudiest hours." He stated.

"That's intelligent. Did you get that off tumblr?" I spat.

"No. It's in a book I've read." He continued. "Anyway, the thunder and lightning are sounds of our heart breaking."

"You should be a weather man." I mumbled.

"Whatever you ungrateful twat."

I went to bed and fell asleep. I woke up at 9am to of gotten a text from Emmalie saying I can come to the station to see Alex. So I got there and his eyes went straight to my hips. Shit. I forgot that I cut there last night, maybe a crop top wasn't a good idea.

-Alex's P.O.V-

Allie. A smile on her lips but cuts on her hips.