-Allie's P.O.V-
The thing is, after Alex and I had a huge deep and meaningful at the police station, we then decided to have another one at his house. It was just about how I shouldn't cut and how I shouldn't be insecure and shit. I felt better so he agreed to take me home. I laid down on my bed and took a deep breath and, actually smiled. A real smile. For once in my life I was actually happy. Then of course, a nightmare wrapped indie guise came knocking on my door. It was Aaron. My ex boyfriend. Aaron and I dated for a solid 6 months and I'm not going to lie, he was life. My first love - my first heartbreak. He was literally everything I wanted: smart, tall, pale, skinny, dark hair, funny, sweet and understanding. So of course I felt insecure and scared of losing him. The way girls would look at him, it just made me feel as if I was nothing. I was a really jealous girlfriend and no matter how many times Aaron insisted that he was mine, I would still get worked up if he hung out with another girl or even if a girl looked at him. The break up was horrible because it ended in the way I most feared. He TEXTED me on our 6 month anniversary saying he can't come and then texted me this:
Bae 😘😊❤️
Hey Allie! Look I think I needa be honest w u. Listen, I love you. You mean everything to me. And I don't regret one moment of our relationship. But, um. I have feelings for Mariah. Mariah is just. Wow. I'm crazy for her. I really don't know what it is about her but...I just want her. I know that u will probably hate me and I don't blame u. I like her. Wait, I think I might love her but idk yet. I just think that I should be w her u know.
After that, the chronic anxiety hit me pretty fucking hard. Whose Mariah you're wondering? She was the head cheerleader at high school. She's petite, curvy as fuck! She's practically a Nicki Minaj wanna be. The only thing that makes her not like Nicki is that Mariah pretends she's a virgin. She's never been nice to me, she's always kind of envied my relationship with Aaron. I saw all the warning signs so I did see this coming but it still hit me hard.
Seeing Aaron now, a year after he ripped my heart out, fucking suck. He still smells like peppermint and he's wearing his black skinny jeans, white tank top and has similar hair to Alex. I'm still wearing a messy bun and my pjs from the night before. Why the fuck is he even here, the fuck?
"Allie!" He said breathlessly.
"What!?" I snapped. Fuck I hate him. I promised myself that I'll hate him forever. The way he broke up with me is what I was mad about.
"I missed you." He smiled and tried to hug me.
"Hold up. You're tryna play good guy to me after like a year? Man you broke my heart but continued to still make out with Mariah in front of my face. Even when Emmalie bashed you, you still continued to somehow hurt me even more. So why the fuck are you even on my property you piece of shit?!" I spat angrily.
"Daym girl." He simply said. I death stared him.
"Is that all you gotta say?! Daym girl?!" I rolled my eyes and went to slam the door in his face but he stopped the door with his hand.
"Babe."
"Don't fucking babe me!" I yelled. The people walking passed gave me a funny look - I don't blame them.
"I'm single! And I want us back!" He insisted. I think I just barfed in my mouth.
"You what cunt?" I snarled. I NEVER say 'cunt' but in extreme cases like this, you gotta do it.
"Don't get sassy. I love you." He mused smiling.
"You love to hurt me." I fired back.
"You love to run your mouth and hide all your feelings." He shot back.
"You know what Aaron?...I have a boyfriend." I stated proudly.
"And?"
"And I'm not like you."
"What does that mean?" He demanded.
"It means get the fuck off my property before you meet my gun." I said flatly. With that he backed down and walked away. What the fuck is he thinking? I wasn't going to fire the gun but if I needed to, well.
All the memories about him hit me like a baseball bat. Why now? Like ugh. I'm over it. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Arizona tea from my fridge. Then I got a text.
Aaron 🔪
Don't hate me but I have ur #
Me:
Don't hate me but I'll kill you :) ex oh ex oh motherfucker
Aaron 🔪
Sassy babe, wanna just have a quicky? Or r u still a virgin? Lol ur boyfriend hasn't tapped it yet?
Me:
Go wank to your mum
I screamed and threw my phone across the room. Fuck.
YOU ARE READING
Darkness - a self harm and depressed inflicted fanfic
Fanfiction"I'll kill you!" He sneered as his hot, alcoholic breath hit my skin. I demonically smirked back with no hint of sadness or fear: "Darling... I'm already dead."
