yuzuru has yet lost another competition, again, to the same person.
he had to withdraw from GPF for 2 years straight before competing in all his well-being this year.
he prepared with harsh trainings. long, gruesome hours of constant jumps and spins. he thought everything was going to be alright and the gold medal would finally land on his little hands.
he thought!
now, all of that trainings, all the shouts, sweats, tears, all came crumbling down on the day of the competition. brian and ghislain all had some business to do, so he had to be on his own for the short program.
as he stepped onto the ice for official practice, he felt eyes, thousands, no, maybe even millions of them all focused on that one tiny figure of his. he could feel the adrenaline rushing into his mind through the veins of his heart.
yuzuru wasn't good at coping with pressure, that's a fact. he knew that he needed to fix it. he knew that one day it could all go bad for him because of his habits of stressing out. yet, he still let it took over him this time, when he was that close, oh so close to finally take home that GPF medal he had been wanting for years!
and he tried, he really did try to ignore all the attention drawn on him. he did his warmup as usual, stoking exercises, turns, edges, all the things he would normally do on a daily basis.
"it's just another competition."
he mentally reminded himself.
he didn't feel strong enough for jumps just yet. well at least for now. he needed to shake out all of those thoughts that were haunting him, preventing him from delivering his best to the audiences.
spins were fine, and he knew that he didn't have time to fuck around.
he needed to do those jumps.
so he did, with a few crossovers, he prepared for a triple axel. just a normal one. no difficult entries or exits. just a normal, standard, triple axel.
it's simple right?
no. at least not with so many people watching him. it's forcing yuzuru to the extremes. he toon off, spun in the air but then lost him control of the jump. he fell hard on the cold ice.
a loud gasp and some inaudible mumbling came from the audience.
"they're judging you dumbass. get up and try again. but to be honest, what's the point. you're not going to win anyways."
a voice at the back of his head whispered.
he knew it was just his imagination. no one was judging him. completing a triple axel is hard. the force when you land is so high. it's easy to under-rotate or over-rotate. it's normal to fall like that.
it's just imagination but it felt so real. to a point that, he started to be aware of his surroundings. and there it was, the anxiety, the pressure dawned on him from all the people in the arena.
he had to fight. he came here to win. he knew he would win, no matter what! pain is only temporary, pride is forever! he said that! he promised to bring victory to japan!
he knew! he promised!
silently cursing, he stood up and gathered all the power he had for jumping. and he fell, again.
