HOW TO WIN JIN'S HEART BY BTS MAKNAE LINE

JIN'S HEART - Part 4

JIN POV.

After our conversation earlier. I decided to go back to my room and think about the whole situation.

I'm still trying to digest everything because I never thought it would get complicated with the maknae line. Yet I still don't understand why they are so attached to me or fall in love with me. Really never thought this would happen. I always thought they were being nice because I was their big hyung. 

When Jimin and Tae are screaming their hearts out - Jungkook on the other hand just keep quiet and seeing Jimin fight with Taehyung to get my attention. He awfully quiet nowadays after his last fight with Jimin and Taehyung and I strongly told them to make peace or I won't talk with them ever again. After that I notice he become more quiet and only stay by my side. I didn't notice at first since we both are very closed but nowadays I can see that he just quietly helping me without any words come out from him. 

I don't know how things are becoming complicated. The maknae line always bickering with one another over feelings that is not mutual. I meant I love them so much but my feelings toward them is brotherly love only. There is only one person that capture my heart all these years and I am not dare to let it out in open. 

The feeling is grown from brotherly love becoming romantic feeling. I wasn't sure how it happens. I never thought myself as one of the bi- since I always thought I love women cause I really close to my mom. This feeling and my sexual oriented was never being exposed to anybody anyone nor being discuss it. Somehow it is very suprising that I can be with woman and man. Not only that part is surpising but only one man in particular that can make me feel like the way I feel right now. 

I have try to like other guy before but no one can make me feel like this. It is very odd. I try to go out with women too but my mind and my heart only at him. It feels like my heart only crafted for him and only him. Nobody else but him. I try to so many ways to test how I feels and always going back to him. Then I knew that my love for him is more than a brotherly love.

First time we met when I saw his innocent look with his big doe eyes and handsome face I fall in love with him like a brother since he is so cute somehow I really love to staring at him or near him all the time. I really adore him and I thought since I am the youngest in my family I love him like my little brother. Only until recently that I known my feeling toward him now grow differently. When I saw him talking to the rest of the members I will feel jealous and my mood start to change. Become moody and pouting all the time become my trademark recently. Members didn't know what happen since I always try to hide this side of mine. 

All the rough nite when he always appear on my hot steamy dream I knew that I want him so bad but our love is like a forbidden fruit. It won't get the approval from everyone surround us.  A bit frustated to hide this feeling and only able to be around him but can't get intimate. Years pass by but still this feeling is growing strong. Try so hard to get rid of it but keep failing in the process.

Now things happen like this I am not sure if I can confess since the reaction will be so hard to handle by both of us. Also I have doubt if he also have the same feeling as me until recent event. When others discuss about the maknae line have feeling for me somehow this lighten up my feeling a bit that my crush has the same feeling as me. 

Yet is making me sad as well with the fact that our love will have to be build from others broken hearts. It is frustated for me and confusing since I don't what to do or how to face this. On the other hand I feel a bit over the moon with the fact that he has same feeling as me.

Why it has to be so hard??? Jin feel annoyed and ruffled his hair because he did not know what he had to do to fix this confusing situation.

Jungkook knocking on his door but Jin is too busy with his mind and didn't notice that the maknae is standing in front of him now. He keep quiet only keep watching his beloved big hyung feeling trouble by himself. He feels worse since he didn't know was on his big hyung's mind nor he can help him. 

"Hyung.."

Jin was surprised because he did not know that Jungkook is already in his room.

"Kookie when you came? I didn't hear you knocking."

"Sorry Jin hyung when I knock you didn't response so I let myself in and seeing you busy with your own mind so I am not dare to bother you. I just wait here until you done thinking. Is something bothering you hyungie? You can tell me maybe I can help you."

"Come here Kookie. Sit here. Nothing bothering me okay.. so don't worry about me. With you here is already help me to feel better. Why you look for me?"

"I saw you so trouble after talking with the others so I was wandering if we make any trouble for hyung again that is why you all talking without us around."

"It's about you guys always fighting to be precise is Jimin and Tae. I am not sure what happen but hope is resolve soon or it will jeopardize the team cohesiveness."

"I am sorry if we make problems for you hyungie."

"It's okay Kookie. I can see that you never fight with them now. You try to be patient and be more mature than the others which is good but I don't want you to become different. I love how you always so cheerful, so helpful and so kind. Also you are a very sensitive boy that always put us as your hyungs as your Top Priority. I don't wanna to loose that. So please act natural as you normally do okay. Don't feel like you burdening us because you never do that."

"I love you hyungie." Jungkook hugs me with me return the hugs to him.

"I love you too Kookie."