Of Fangs & Fins ✔

30. what we'd regret

SR: girl in red - i need to be alone

Thirty.

Marina

After making sure Eryn wasn't going to run away from me, I headed to the infirmary.

Ally seemed to be doing fine. As I walked in, she drank from a blood bag. She made eye contact with me and widened her eyes and pulled the bag away from her mouth and placed it on her lap.

"You shouldn't get awkward about that. I'm used to it with Eryn," I sat down on the bed she was in, "You shouldn't feel that you have to act differently around me."

"I know, but I don't know to act around you," Ally smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, "I'm this... creature."

She wriggled a bit away from me, making sure none of her outline was touching me. If she thought that she scared me, she was wrong.

"It was me who told Eryn to turn you. I wanted you to live."

"I know. And I'm still not sure if I should thank you or not," Ally took a deep breath before bringing the blood bag back to her lips, "You know I still get nightmares? About Arlo, and when I... hurt you. Everything is so overwhelming as a vampire, everything is twofold."

"I'm sorry, I never even asked you if this is the fate you wanted," I replied, looking at my hands. "I never got a chance to. I just wanted you alive and well."

It wasn't fair for me to decide the fate of her life. As merfolk, we were told at a young age that whenever someone dies it's their time. Vampires challenge that whole way of thinking. To us, they were abominations, and leaving Ally to that fate was something I never wanted to happen. She had to come to terms with her existence without any choice in the matter.

"At first, I was angry with you, angry that you all went back to Aqueria and just left me here." Tears welled in Ally's eyes, and two red streaks slid down her cheeks.

"My intention was to come back and stay here with you," I countered. I bit my lip and pushed down a wave of guilt that washed over me. It suffocated me and a lump in my throat formed.

Ally put her hand on my arm and nodded, "I know that now, but I didn't see you for a year."

"And I'm back now, for good," I smiled, wiping my cheeks as tears began to fall.

"There's more," Ally breathed, "I didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't go back to Aqueria, but it was so much more definitive when I bit you. I had to leave whatever human life I made here. I had friends, I went to class, Hell, I even had a boyfriend."

I blinked. Ally never told me any of this when I first came onto land. She kept her life a secret, only to ask about Aqueria. Did she keep it from me on purpose?

"How come I didn't know any of this?"

"Because you and Sydney always included me in mer-life, I felt as if I couldn't tell you about my human life. You guys frowned upon humans so much, and then to see you with Eryn? A vampire no less? I never thought I would become the very thing that we were taught to despise. More importantly, I hated myself. I had to learn to love myself again. To love vampire Ally rather than human Ally. And to completely forget about my connection to the ocean," she explained, staring down at the blood, "but then, Eryn helped me realize that you wanted me to live. Then I decided to do just that."

"Your connection isn't gone, when I saw you earlier sensed it. It was how I found you in the first place," I answered, grabbing her hand.

Ally chuckled dryly.