Journals

Wrote This

Wrote a coming out thing. May post it on Facebook. Let me know what do you think of it. (Other updates at the end.)

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So, some may already know I'm not exactly straight, but maybe not what kind of 'not straight'. Well, here you go.

I am asexual, aromantic, and gender indifferent. I don't expect you to know what all of those mean, so I'll explain.

Asexual means I have no sexual attraction to anyone. If a relationship involves anything sexual, I'm not really interested. Please note that this has nothing to do with sex drive or how I feel about sex. If I'm invested in a relationship and feel comfortable, I'll partake if my partner asks.

Aromantic means I have no romantic attraction to anyone. I have no desire for a significant other in that way.

While I have no sexual or romantic attraction, this doesn't mean I have no attraction at all. There's more than just those two. There's also aesthetic (appreciating how someone looks), sensual (non-sexual contact), and emotional (emotionally open). Personally, I experience aesthetic, sensual, and emotional attractions, but not sexual or romantic.

And finally, my gender. I am assigned female at birth, but call myself gender indifferent. Similar to pronoun indifferent, it means I don't care what you call me. Think I'm a boy? Sure. Think I'm a girl? Also sure. Don't want to assume and call me nonbinary? Cool.

So what does this mean for my pronouns? I'm pronoun indifferent, so I'm good with anything. She/her, they/them, he/him, doesn't matter to me which you use. Though I prefer no title (mr, ms, mrs, etc). Simple call me by my first name or my last name. Instead of Miss. Nichols, just call my Nichols. Again though, I don't really care what you use/don't use.

Some may ask 'how do you know?'. The answer is different for everyone, but is similar to, if not exactly like, a trans man knowing he's not a woman and visversa. Being addressed/viewed as your assigned gender causes discomfort, ranging from mild to actually causing depression. This discomfort is called gender dysphoria.

I do not really have gender dysphoria, at least not towards how I'm viewed necessarily. I just don't want gender roles put on me, so being feminine is not an option for me. Masculine gender expression gives me confidence. Put me in a dress or 'female' clothes and I'll hate you forever.

Here's more detail.

I best describe how I know my gender identity as 'not wanting the labels of either binary gender.' I feel that too much comes with these labels. I don't want 'how a girl should act/look/be' tacked onto me anymore than 'how a boy should act/look/be'. You can think that, but I'm sure as hell not going to follow them.

We constantly put each other into too few boxes that are too small. The fact that we only get two options on our passports or driver's licenses is wrong. I can't think of any other characteristic of humans that's only two things; hair/eye color, skin tone, height. The list goes on. It's not that we have too few, it's that we have the boxes at all. Get rid of them and we'll all be free.

I hope for the day where someone's sex is used as a descriptor, not an identity.

We're not just two things. Everything is a spectrum, even biological sex. So please stop giving us only two options.

Man or woman?
Meh.
You decide.

If anyone has any questions, please just ask, I'll do my best to answer, though please know that I do NOT speak for the Queer Community and how others experience their identities and sexualities is not for me to decide. Please read the comments before asking anything, as someone may have already asked.

If anyone has a problem with the Queer Community, kindly go find a soul. We just want to exist in peace.

"Queer people exist. Choosing not to accept them is not an option."
-Dan Howell

Thank you.

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Hi ya'll (that felt weird. Remind me never to us y'all). Few minor updates. Stories are at a stand still again, except for the Realmers. I've been designing the characters and sorting the plot. Here's one: the main character.

Also, Christmas holidays is in under a week. Xmas is far too close for me to have almost no gifts.

(Side note: I'm writing this while I'm suppose to be asleep and my laptop wants to update, but I've closed it, buuut, it won't stop turning on. Can you not?!)

Anyway. Xmas panic is setting in. Saw Frozen 2 tonight. It's awesome and the soundtrack is as good as (maybe better than) the first. There's a gecko and he's adorable. Plus backstory! And stuff out their parents! Go watch it!

Also, also, I may be breaking up with Erin... They're too much for me. Too loud, too energetic. Relationships aren't for me and I may write a whole chapter on that in 'Beyond the Boxes' or 'Everything' (Check them out?).

I'll probably bring it up after Xmas, but before the semester change.

Tips?