Bottom Dollar 2: Homecoming

5| Memory lane

That night, I dreamt of the day it all started. The day the cracks in our relationship first started to appear.

I'd just gotten back from a party. It was late, almost three A.M in Barcelona, but I'd had such a good time and was on such a high that I wanted to share it with Nate.

Things were already feeling strained between us. It had been a week since we'd spoken for more than two minutes, and I was craving some semblance of normalcy. Of intimacy.

He was busy at work; I could hear chatter in the background and the sound of him talking with one of his colleagues. Every time I called him, it was always the same: he was busy at work. Or he was riding his bike. Or he was living his life. But this time, I wasn't prepared to accept another brush off. I didn't want an, "I'll call you later." I wanted him then.

"What's up?" he said. "Isn't it pretty late there?"

Right on cue, I let out a yawn. "Yeah, it is, but I wanted to see how you're doing. I just got back from this really amazing–"

"One second, Meg." He half covered the phone to talk to a colleague about some missing car part. I waited patiently, trying not to give in to the heaviness of my eyes. "Sorry," he finally said, sounding distracted. "Things are pretty hectic right now. I'll call you in a little bit."

Rejection swirled in the pit of my stomach. I didn't expect Nate to drop everything because I'd called, but I'd expected him to sound a little more enthusiastic at hearing my voice.

"What, you don't have five minutes to talk?" I asked.

There was some shuffling on the other end. A few terse voices echoed in the background, momentarily distracting him. "Meg, I've got a line of customers going out the door. My hands are covered in grease. I said I'll call you later."

My cheeks burned at the sharpness of his tone. Rejection quickly morphed into anger, and I felt myself getting defensive. "Except you never do," I replied. "You never call when you say you will."

I hated how needy I sounded. And then I hated myself for thinking I was needy. Was it really so needy to want to talk my boyfriend? I wasn't asking for much; I wasn't asking to talk to him every single day or blowing up his phone. I'd given him space to do what he wanted and he had given me space. Maybe that was the problem; maybe all this space we'd been giving had left a big, gaping hole.

Silence echoed on the other end. "Neither do you."

"I'm calling you now," I pointed out.

"Yeah, because it suits you, Meg. When I tried calling you last week, you were busy."

"I was teaching!"

"And I'm working."

I could feel it through the phone; the distance, the relationship beginning to crumble away. I could feel it happening, and yet I was powerless to stop it–I didn't know how.

"What's your excuse on the weekends when you're not working?" I asked. "And what about you saying you would visit me at Christmas and then saying you won't be able to? If you're not going to do something, don't say you'll do it."

Something clattered to the ground. He let out a series of curse words as though whatever had fallen had landed on his foot. "Damn it, Meg. I don't have time for this shit right now. I'll talk to you later."

A lump crawled up my throat, threatening to bring with it the appearance of tears. "Sure," I said tightly. "Talk to you later, Nate."

I hung up the phone and turned on my side. It was the first of many nights that I cried myself to sleep.

                                           ***
"Welcome to Taylor's," I said cheerfully. "What can I get–oh, it's you."

My father lowered his menu slightly, revealing his angular jaw. "Meg," he said. "What a pleasant surprise. I had absolutely no idea you were working here. No idea at all."

I folded my arms impatiently. "Did Nate tell you?"

He put a hand to his heart in feigned shock. "Of course not. What, you think Nate and I are friends or something?" He shook his head in a vigorous manner. "I hardly ever speak to the kid."

My father had never exactly been the best liar; it was how he'd ended up in prison in the first place.

I titled my head, both annoyed and relieved to see him. "Mom already told me you and Nate are working together."

"Ah." He put the menu flat against the table, looking a little sheepish. "On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you?"

I sighed before sinking into the chair opposite. It went like there were many customers around, and Alex was out on some business venture, leaving Carol and I in charge. "I'm not mad," I said.

"Then why haven't you come to see me since you've been back?" he asked.

He had me there. "Fine, I'm a little mad." I adjusted the salt and pepper shaker on the table. "It's just weird. My dad and my ex boyfriend working together. I was afraid if I came to visit you, Nate might be there. And I just–" I stopped for a moment to gather my thoughts. I wasn't ready to tell my father that I was angry at Nate. That I resented him for how our relationship ended. I wasn't ready to talk about it at all, in fact, because when I talked about it, when I thought about it, it felt like I might burst into tears and never stop crying. "I'm just not ready to be around him."

Dad reached across the table and carefully took my hand. "It's not like we planned it, Meg. It just sort of happened. We never wanted to hurt you."

"You sure this relationship is purely platonic?" I joked. "It sounds like you're having an affair."

He rolled his eyes before resuming a serious face. "You know what I mean. For the first time since getting out of prison, I feel like I have a real purpose. I'm doing something with my life. Nate's been a big encouragement. In fact, the whole business thing was his idea. I really underestimated him."

Something tightened in the pit of my stomach. "If only he put as much effort into our relationship," I said lightly.

My father's eyes softened, and he gave my hand another affectionate squeeze. "Even though he's my business partner, I will always be team Meg. I hope you know that."

I smiled a little. "Thanks, Dad." I shifted my gaze to look at my hands, suddenly overcome with emotion. "I just feel like everything's so different now. I don't know how to fit in here anymore."

He shrugged before leaning back in his seat. "A year is a long time, Meg. It's going to take baby steps to reconnect with the people you left behind."

I sighed a little, knowing he was right. I'd hopped off that plane thinking things would be the same, but life in Pinewood hadn't stopped just because I'd left town. Life had carried on as usual, and it was going to take some time for my friends to let me back in.

Luckily, I had all summer.

A/N

Hey guys, thanks for reading! Who wants to see more Meg and Nate?! 💏