Chapter 7: Dark Side of the Moon

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"All that is gold does not glitter, not all who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost." -J.R.R. Tolkien

***

The moon decides to have a chat with me that night. Of course, we can't do things the easy way where I keep my eyes on her in the sky and understand what she wants. Instead, I have to risk Jagalan waking up to me talking to a wolf.

It's come to my attention that the wolf if the moon's spirit animal--that's why she's completely white. I start to wonder if the wolf I saw the morning after I killed Jagalan's father was her too, but I can't recall what color it was.

I'm still majorly on edge about that murder. At first it was bad, but now it's like, bad-bad-bad. I'm starting to get anxiety that Jagalan will find out and stop helping me. I'm utterly and completely sorry and regretful for it, and I keep reminding myself that it was the sun's doing, but still, my hands claimed his life, not the sun's rays. I shake every time I think about it, which is also bad because if Jagalan asks why I'm shaking, I can't say I'm cold (that's preposterous to someone who's a walking snowman).

Anyway, the wolf nudged me awake, and we're now sitting across from each other. Jagalan had been sleeping on my chest, so I moved her softly onto the blanket beneath us. Staring into the wolf's eyes is like reading a book. The irises are the yellowed pages and the pupils are the black words.

I can tell that she's pleased about my ambition to get rid of the sun. She has reassuring faith in me, and Jagalan, too, that we'll figure this out. Personally, I'm excited. I think talking with her is helping me realize the perks of having my powers, and that I can use them effectively for good. She also tells me that she's trying her best to hold off the sun's effects in me and make them grow slower. I thank her, promising to not give up.

Jagalan stirs behind me and I shoo the wolf away, not wanting to alarm her. The wolf disappears in the trees just as she sits up.

"Morning, Jack," I say, handing her a cup of water that I'd retrieved from a nearby pond. "I sterilized that, don't worry. It may not be hot anymore though."

She takes it gratefully, drinking it only after I assure her that I had my fill. Her cheeks are pink from the wind, and again, I hate myself for not being able to warm her.

"So those moonflowers we have to get only grow during a new moon," she says. "I know where to find them, too; I just can't guarantee that they'll be in full bloom."

"That's alright," I say softly. "I looked up a picture of them in one of the books. I saw that they can be black or white. Does it matter which?"

"I doubt it, but we'll take both just in case."

I nod, letting her finish her water before I ask my next question.

"Jack, what if this doesn't work?"

She gives me a sympathetic smile. "Then I'll stick with you until we find what does."

"What about after I'm cured?"

"That's up to you. You can be Jack Frost and do your job, you can explore the world at a steady pace, there's a lot for you to do. You can have whatever you want."

I stay silent for a minute. "I want you."

Jagalan smiles at me, her teeth as white as her scarf. "You're sweet. Shall we start up for the day?"

"Let's," I agree, eager to get going. "Where do we find the flowers?" I pull her up by her hands.

"Most are found on vines that wrap around cherry blossom trees."

I nod, remembering I've already asked her that. "Where're we gonna find those?"

She pulls out a map she must've snatched from the library. "I think we're here. If I'm right, then I've been in this forest before with my mom, exploring. I remember seeing cherry blossom trees."

"Okay, let's just roam until we come across one then," I say. "But first..."

"First what?"

I kiss her then, and she tastes like icicles, or maybe that's just me, but I realize that kissing Jack is like an encouragement. It reminds me that I'm still capable of love, something I was afraid of losing. I can still enjoy people's presence and grow to like their company. I deepen the kiss, earning a quiet moan that makes me sigh as I trace patterns on her back.

She pulls away first, making me groan. She grins. "We won't accomplish anything if all we do is kiss each other."

I nod sadly and follow beside her in search of the trees. Eventually one of her hands finds mine, and she jerks it back at the coldness, but holds it again anyways.

"Do you think my skin is getting colder?" I ask seriously. "Because when we shook hands the first time we met you didn't pull away."

"Maybe," she answers. "But I wouldn't worry."

The trees are surprisingly easy to find, and we get lucky. Only one of them has the vines twining around it, and there are dozens of white flowers and fewer black ones.

"Do we have a quantity?"

Jagalan shrugs. "I'd say two of each is enough. That way if we lose one or something we'll have extra."

We pluck them off the vine carefully and put them in Jagalan's bag on top of one another. I note that the weather is warmer today, almost sixty degrees it feels like.

"I'm proud of us, Jack," she says as we search for a town to reside in for a day. "We're making really good progress."

"I am, too. I can't thank you enough for agreeing to help me. I'll never be able to repay you."

"My mom always said that if you're doing something for someone else, repayment shouldn't be necessary. If you expect something in return, you're not doing it out of the good of your heart."

We stop for a fruit break on the outskirts of a village we'd tracked down. As I eat my apple, I contemplate what she said.

Jagalan sheds her overcoat; she must feel the climate change too. Underneath is a long sleeved white shirt.

I place a hand over my heart. It still beats, but something about its rhythm reminds me of the unnaturalness I contain.

"What are you doing?" Jagalan asks. I must look strange sitting there with a hand over my heart.

"My heartbeat is different. The rhythm just feels diverse."

Jack rests her hand on my heart, then on hers, and nods. "It does. Yours is almost irregular."

"Yours isn't," I say after feeling hers. "I guess that makes you normal."

She's about to say something, but cuts herself off, her eyes trailing behind me. I follow her gaze and see what she sees immediately.

There's a stranger watching us from the town, and the dagger in his hand doesn't look friendly.

He starts towards us.

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