LUMINESCENCE | K.NJ ✓

XXIII - I SEE FIRE

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE — I SEE FIRE

THE PHONE CALL came to Nouri at the most convenient moment it possibly could have.

She was sitting criss-crossed, barely awake, on the coffee stained sofa in Chris and Tashay's living room. The skies were a dark grey outside, overcast with clouds, threatening to spill rain into the streets of Seoul at any time. Chris and the boys were out of the house, leaving Nouri alone with Tashay, who walked into the room and took a seat on the sofa just as Nouri switched on the television.

"I just got off the phone with your mother," Tashay said with nonchalance that Nouri saw through right away. "Again."

Nouri nodded, clicking through the channels with an absent mind. "How lovely."

"She's very worried about you sweetheart. It's been over a week since you left; the least you could do is pick up her calls."

Of course, Nouri knew this. After Namjoon dropped her off outside her apartment, she couldn't even bring herself to go inside; so she found herself turning to the welcoming arms of Tashay's family.

She didn't even have the strength to answer a phone call from her parents.

"Thanks for the tip. I'll keep it in mind."

In the blink of an eye, the remote was snatched from her hand and the screen went dark. She swallowed, refusing to let her eyes meet those of the woman beside of her.

"Lin Nouri." She didn't even have to look—the burn of Tashay's gaze seeped into her guilt-ridden soul. "She's your mother. The two of you have been inseparable for ages. What could have possibly went so wrong to make you not even want to speak to her?"

The question sent a sea of hurt through the younger woman's chest. How could she give an answer? She couldn't; she didn't have one that was good enough.

She was weak.

She was angry.

She was guilty.

But more than anything, she was afraid. Afraid of the burden she had placed upon Chris and Tashay's family by crashing in their home. Afraid of having wounded her relationship with her parents over something so small and insignificant in the big picture. Afraid of losing her friendship with Yoongi and Hoseok because of the hurt she caused Namjoon.

Namjoon. Oh God, was she afraid of Namjoon.

Pictures of his face, clips of moments, echoes of his voice—they had been running through her head nonstop in the days since their last encounter. She was in a constant seesaw game with herself; ignoring the thoughts of him one moment, and allowing herself to be drowned in them the next.

She was afraid, so afraid of the hurt she had caused him. And yet, even more so, she was afraid of how much she regretted letting those moments with him slip by.

It was funny, in a way. The reason why she held herself back from him was because of her fear of losing a moment. Yet, by holding herself back, she lost so many precious moments that the thought of them almost suffocated her.

"Nouri? Sweetheart?" A soft hand on her shoulder drew her out of her thoughts. Tashay brought her other hand up to cup Nouri's cheek and gently turned her face towards her, forcing eye contact.

To Nouri's surprise, any harshness that she had felt before was nowhere to be seen in the warm eyes of the older woman.

"What happened?" She asked gently.

Nouri still didn't want to talk about it. She didn't know if she would ever want to talk about it.

Thankfully, the ringing of her cell phone gave her the perfect escape.