Her Life Is Made Up of Ink

Things Got Better

A month passed and I felt so good as each and every visit to the psychiatrist was meaningful to me as it felt nice to have someone to talk to. After all that therapy and chit chats, I had already gained social confidence that allowed me to make friends and this time they were all real friends. My family started to get more and more supportive. My mom and the others started to see the beauty beyond my physical appearance  that was lying within me. I felt confident to be myself. I told my friends everything and they supported me through thick and thin. I made a mistake too, I thought that nobody would want me but look at me now. I have a lot of friends and they all treat me the same regardless of my mental health and what I have been through. My life was like a roller coaster ride back then but now, it feels like I'm living the best one ever. One good lesson that I learnt from my problems was that it's tremendously cancerous to bottle up your feelings and emotions. Letting them out once in a while feels really good. It's like a weight lifted of you shoulders. I started to do better in school and got to a better class and I am doing what I love which is drawing. Whenever I felt stressed, I drink a cup of tea to destress and I know it sounds fancy but trust me, camomile tea is the best thing in the world.

Though the empty feelings were still there, I got over them by reminding myself that I have friends and I am surrounded by my loved ones. In the past I often isolated myself from the crowd due to my social anxiety and now I want to fight that and let everyone know that I am proud to be who I am. I am self-assertive because I have a group of understanding friends. Sometimes we have to get down into the dirt and start playing and that is what I did. I tried and I succeeded. Socializing has its pros and cons as I didn't get through all of my problems, I still went through a tincy wincy bit of anxiety. Remember one thing, toying with someone's feelings or making fun of someone's physical appearance will cause a lot more than you think it would. If you have personally hurt someone by doing so, it's the best for you to make up to them. An apology may mean nothing compared to what you've said to them but it'd make them feel better. Words are like bullets shot out from a gun and you can't catch them but once it pierces skin deep, you can't do anything but just look at the wound that is closed and the pain would never heal. Well it's true that there are some things that just don't heal. 

Next, If you have something to say, go on and find someone trustworthy and the key to this is that you gotta be clear with what you want. Trust me, it felt like my whole life that was lit with a single candle became brighter like it was lit by a million stars. Even if it's talking to yourself in the mirror, it is always the best thing to do. Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and give yourself a boost of energy by saying positive words. We all have a turning point in life and don't make stupid decisions like what I would have done. Suicide is not the best solution in life. If I had decided to take my own life, I don't think that I would've been able to see the beautiful sides of life and I wouldn't have been able to luxuriate this very moment of my life. Just remember, you're not alone and there are so many people out there who is in need of a friend and love. Always remember to love yourself and everyone else. Seeing a smile on everyone's face is what we all desire the most. 

With love,

JENNA

________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you guys so much for supporting me and I personally think that this is one of the best I have written. Thank you once again and lets get this to 1k reads and votes. I love you all and merry christmas.