𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

a madman, i am {❦}

i.
i am a tainted thing.
i've got ink stains on my thighs and black swirls of boysenberry fill my palms. tattooed on my skin are midnight blue waters with sirens singing of drowning men. i am but a figment of your imagination, my heart the green pear from the tree of forbidden fruit. i crave rotten cherry pits and orange peels in the heat of the night.

ii.
scarred and ruined, you have made me an entanglement of tears.
missing you is being peppered with bullets, my flesh stinging, blood spraying, soul leaving my eyes in a slow, retching death. i ask, why speak in riddles? why twist the words until i am bent over backwards in desperate agony and pleading for the truth? ah, i see, so, you think this is a game? pound her brains out until she is nothing but writhing organs and a bloody heap of skin. alas, i will play the game. i will play until i am standing atop a pile of bones and they crunch beneath my feet, until my teeth and fangs are bared with crimson blood for the entire world to see.

iii.
i have a self destructive side.
it whispers in my ear and talks of poisoned spirits and my fall from grace. curved lips murmuring words of crestfallen vows, my limbs shaking from dark magic. my sorrows are tethering me down, down, down. do you not see the twist of my limbs as i thrash in grief? as i cry out with empty pain, chest full of stones? my mouth is full of words i cannot say; they get caught on my teeth and gums and i scream because the cat has my tongue. if you will give my lips a moment to form the words my heart wishes to speak, you will see that i will fill the void of silence our voices have left.

iv.
your vanity is overwhelming - truly.
it leaves me scraping my chest in order to give you what your heart desires most: my beauty. i am always left raw on the floor after you drink my youth and flee. on fragile legs, i stand again. when i look in the mirror, i always wonder what i will see. when the reflection turns around, and the glass is finally free, i always tilt my head and ponder, will it be you i see today, or will it be me?

i give and i give until i have nothing left,
and you take and you take
until you have everything right.