You Keep Me Safe (Jalex)

2: They're Finding Me Out

Title from: "Sick Little Games" -All Time Low.

We eat dinner, me still not letting a word escape my lips. Anything I say will make things worse. I see Jack flick his gaze to me every now and again, but I don't look back at him.

"May I be excused?" I almost whisper. I already feel the anxiety's grip on my chest.

"Of course!" my dad says sweetly. I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes before standing up. I get an angry look from my father, knowing I'd regret doing that as soon as the Barakats returned home.

"May I speak to you for a moment?" he asks, looking me dead in the eyes with nothing but anger swimming in them. I nod, going a bit down the hallway before turning into him. He pushes me against the wall by my throat, and I struggle to breathe even more, as my chest was already tight with nerves.

"Don't you fucking dare act like that in front of people," he spits, pressing his hand tighter against my neck so I can't breathe at all. "Stop fucking disappearing and grow the fuck up, you're seventeen for fuck's sake. Understood?" I nod, and he releases me from his grip. I fall to the ground where he delivers a kick to my side before walking back into the dining room.

I can't move. I stay on the hardwood floor, staring at the wall in a curled up ball. I can't do this, I just want someone to care about me, just once. Is that so much to ask?

"Alex?" a voice whispers, a figure kneeling beside me. Through my blurred vision, I see the beautiful boy from earlier before me, and I quickly blink my tears away. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine," I whisper, sitting up. My answer doesn't satisfy him. He reaches his hand out to touch me, but I quickly flinch away. It was instinct, I suppose. The only time my skin makes contact with someone else's is when my dad hurts me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he says softly, reaching his hand out again. I jump a little at his touch as his hand falls on my shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. I take a deep breath, relishing the feeling his touch sent throughout my body. I never wanted the feeling to go away, I wanted his hand to just stay there forever. Or for his arms to be around me, or for our fingers to intertwine, or for our lips to press together... woah, what? I've known him for an hour, what the fuck am I thinking?

His hand travels to my cheek, us making eye contact again. I already have decided his eyes are my favorite thing to look into. All this is so new to me. I've been in a relationship, I knew what it felt like to have a crush, but nothing like this...

"What happened?" he asks, brushing his thumb across my cheek, which had turned pink at this point.

"Not here," I whisper back. "Want to go upstairs?" He nods, pulling his hand from my cheek. I frown slightly at the loss of contact, but he doesn't notice. I walk upstairs with him close behind me, my mind racing. I didn't have trust issues; in fact, I trusted too much. No one is ever here for me, and when someone is I just... explode, I guess. I wouldn't tell Jack everything- hell, I've only just met him- but I'll tell him a bit just to get it off my chest.

We walk into my dimly lit room, me shutting the door softly behind me. I press myself against it, running my hands through my hair. I squeeze my eyes shut- why did I decide to do this? He's a stranger! The air is sucked from my lungs as my body begins to panic. I can't have a panic attack now! Jack is in front of me! That's making it worse. An attractive boy is about to watch me, a boy he doesn't even know, become a total train wreck.

"Hey, breathe. Just breathe, focus on that. I have anxiety as well, it sucks, but focusing on the air entering and exiting your lungs is a good place to start. Focus, focus, breathe," he says to me soothingly. I listen to him, already feeling myself calm down. What the hell? How does he have this effect on me?

I feel... safe?

The door snaps open, pushing me to the floor. "Get the hell- oh, hey Jack!" my dad's voice says. Jack takes a step toward me to help me up, but my dad stands in front of him. "Your dad is already in the car. It was a pleasure having you over, and I see you've met Alex." Jack nods, exiting the room. He gives me a sad look before vanishing into the dark hallway, my heart dropping a little.

"You'd best stay the fuck away from him," my dad growls at me. "Your gay ass better not turn him gay, or his dad will hate me. I won't have you ruin my life." He slams my door, leaving me on the cool floor, alone again.

I let myself cry, putting in my earbuds again. It calms me down, as it always does. It doesn't stop the little part of my heart, though, that seems to have Jack's name on repeat. I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to be his friend, and if possible, I'd maybe want to date him in the future. I didn't know anything about him, I didn't know his favorite color, or his favorite song, or his hobbies, or his favorite food, or his story of why he was here, but I knew he had anxiety, and wasn't scared off like so many others are when I had an attack right in front of him.

I sit on my bed, seeing a little slip of paper bounce toward me a bit. I click on my lamp, picking it up and unfolding it. The paper had a ten digit number written across it with a small message written beneath it.

Jack Barakat. In case you want a friend.