Mat Barzal - What Real Support Looks Like

Part 8

Warnings: Swearing/language, angst, anxiety, mentions of alcohol and sexism

Gemma's POV:

"Gemma," Dr. Avery said as soon as they were seated in their respective places (Gemma on the couch, Dr. Avery in her comfy chair). "I think I have a good grasp on the situation, but I'd rather have all the facts from you."

Gemma took a deep breath. "Well, I thought I knew what happened until last night, when Tito showed up at Lauren and Jordan's house..."

"How about," Dr. Avery cut her off, "you tell me what happened before the new information, and then talk about what he told you and why it has changed your mind."

"It hasn't changed my mind exactly..." Gemma trailed off before sighing. "Alright. So it was my birthday, I was getting ready for dinner because Mat was going to take me out to celebrate it and handing in my first draft of my thesis, and I suddenly realized it was 8:30 and not 8 like I thought. Soon after, Mat came in shouting for me, and I knew right away that he was drunk because his voice wasn't clear and his footsteps were sloppy. He came into the bedroom, and his breath wreaked of alcohol, and I asked him where he'd been, since our reservations were 15 minutes from then, and he...and he..." Gemma choked on her tears.

Dr. Avery handed her the tissue box that was sitting on the table next to her. "Only continue when you're ready," she said.

Gemma dabbed her tears with a tissue, threw it away in the garbage can next to the table, and said, "He said he was out with Tito and the boys, and he was confused about why we were going out. When I said it was my birthday, he said he forgot."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Like shit. And then he said, 'Whoops, my bad' and started laughing. He was laughing, Dr. Avery, it just...I was incensed."

"That was highly insensitive of him," Dr. Avery commented, "But do you think it's at all possible that he was nervous laughing? You've told me that you do it."

Gemma thought for a moment. It was true: she did have a bad habit of laughing in highly inappropriate situations. It wasn't like she wanted to laugh, but something about the situation just elicited it.

"Maybe," she conceded, "but then he said we could reschedule, and I got mad, saying that he probably forgot about my thesis, too, and that was when...that was when he said it."

"I know what you're referring to, but I think it would help you to say it out loud."

"He said he never saw me anymore thanks to my thesis and then, 'Sometimes I wish you weren't going for your master's.' I just saw red after that. I think I'm still seeing red."

"And that is completely understandable," Dr. Avery said. "You have every right to feel angry at him. I just want to get to the root of why it makes you angry."

"Because I told him from the start that I wasn't going to give up my career for him," Gemma said, "And he understood that and accepted it, or at least, I thought he did until that night."

Dr. Avery nodded. "So then what happened?"

"I flipped out and left. He tried to weasel his way out of it, saying he only said it because I work so hard and he could take care of me money-wise, and that only made things worse. He was belittling my career."

Dr. Avery cleared her throat, looking nervous. "I'm going to go out on a limb here...do you think it's possible that he doesn't understand why you want to work? Let me finish," she said, seeing Gemma open her mouth. "Do you think it's possible that if he were in your position, he wouldn't want to work, and he sees you stressed out and doesn't understand the need for it?"