Finally, After Forever

Nine. Ghosted Pt. 2

Two weeks have passed since I stopped talking to Naomi and it was killing me. My boss called and told me I'm not needed in Denver as long as he thought I would be and I could come back to Baltimore by next month. Getting that news was disappointing because I literally just moved my entire life out here just 3 months ago and I met Naomi who is such a great girl. I was in the process of packing all my stuff up again so I could get ready to go back home in 30 short days. I'm not good with confrontation so I thought it would just be better to cut her off, before she really fell for me. The last text she sent to me before I stopped replying said she thinks she thinks she just starting to like me a lot which gave me a sense of relief and kinda upset me. She was just now starting to like me? I fell for her when she first sashayed over to me in Flat White. She made me believe in falling in love at first sight.

I was sidetracked from my thoughts and packing when I heard a knock on the door. I went to go see who that could be, the only person who knows where I live out here is Naomi and why would she come see me? I shut right up when I opened the door and saw her there. My mind went blank and I had nothing to say for once. My dream girl was standing in front of me looking... defeated and that instantly broke my heart. I did this to her.

"What's up with you? Where have you been?" She said as soon I opened the door taking me off guard. Naomi was pissed at me and I couldn't blame her at all. We had an entire argument with it ending with me saying, "...We're not obligated to talk everyday, you aren't my girlfriend and you won't be, now go home," and I threw the bitch word in there too which I can admit took it too far. I only did it so she could really be over me, it was really for her own good I promise!

I went back to my room after closing the door in Naomi's perfect face and just locked myself in my room. I couldn't even finish packing I was so upset with myself. I wish I could be a man and just tell her what's up with me. I hate myself sometimes. I laid down and softly cried in my bed because I officially fucked up and there's no going back now. I don't think if even if I go over to her condo with jewelry and chocolates she'd ever forgive me. We're done. I stopped crying because I was the only one to blame and I pulled my phone out to write her a text explaining my situation and apologizing.

Dear Nami,

I'm so sorry for how I treated you earlier. You don't deserve that from anyone but especially the man in your life. I really listened and felt for you when you told me about your past and I completely understand if you add me to the list of douchebags. I sincerely apologize for speaking to you like you were just anybody and calling you a bitch. You're someone incredibly special to me and I never want you to doubt that ever. I'm moving back to Baltimore next month and I was trying to distance myself from you because I honestly love you a lot Naomi. You've changed my life and brought me a happiness I never thought I could experience. I was too afraid to tell you about my moving because I didn't want to hurt you or disappointed but I understand this was much worse. I know you were developing feelings for me and I was so excited because I felt the same. I genuinely love you and I'm so sorry for hurting you.

Love, Elijah

I hit send and began to pray that she gets what I'm saying and can forgive me. I regret everything I said. It was disrespectful and out of my character. Why hasn't someone invented a way to turn back time yet because I'd start all the way over. I would start by telling Nami everything, take her out every weekend and maybe even to Baltimore to meet my friends and family. Make her finally introduce me to her friends and family, leave a toothbrush over at her condo, possibly adopt a puppy. Whatever she wanted I would've gotten for her. Please God let her forgive me!

The hardest part of this entire situation is over now but I don't how I can ever forgive myself so I know she won't be able to easily. On that note, I continued packing and checked my phone every 2 minutes like clockwork. I pray everything works out.