Play Me Sweetheart (Ben Drowned Romance)

Chapter Two: Concerned

Sleeping was the ideal problem for me. It's frustrating on how often I wake up, drenched in my own sweat and tears. The many nights of sleep lost, but with the some I get, bombarded with the traumatic past. I have all these things affecting me, yet I protest to leave my home for help. I don't understand myself, it's like I changed after the accident. Of course I did, physically and a recent discovery of mental corruption. I always try to block people out, but it's for their own safety. I don't want to drag someone new into my life, pretending it's all sunshine and rainbows. When in reality, I'm a girl that is intertwined with the past and won't let go for the future to happen. Maybe I'm just scared of the unknown.

I groan at my thoughts, wanting to just run away from them and to never look back. I'm just a bit nervous for tonight. After Victoria invited me to this club, I've been stressing over everything. Plus, I didn't sleep at all last night, as usual. I'll be coming in like the walking dead of the party, since I practically look like one. It might as well be a walking dead themed competition, I'd surely win first place.

I shuffled to the closet and dug through my clothes until I found my favorite sweater and a pair of jeggings. My usual bum look for the weekends, or at least until my friend comes with the stash of smokin' hot dresses that she thinks would complete me. She really is a good friend, besides her over aggressive ego and pushy character. I literally fell into peer pressure from her and usually get drunk at these things, but tonight I'm not aiming for any socialization in particular. Just a few drinks and I'm out. But that's not all her, she is a bit of an emotional lifter and that helped me return some of my positive emotions such as happiness. More like a small sense of joy. That's... Pretty much it in her good qualities and I'm not going into her sex appeal.

There was a vibration on the desk and my attention was drawn to the flip phone I had. I extended my arm to retrieve my phone, heading into the small living room. There was no seen barrier between the kitchen and the living room, besides what resembles tiles that decorate the little corner lightly. A brown, bit worn down couch was beckoning for me and I gave in, curling up by the arm after taking my normal spot. I looked at my phone, flipping it up to see who text me. Three messages, one from my mother, Victoria, and Beau. Pretty much the only people I get in contact with, besides my father and bill collectors.

The first one I open was from Victoria, which read, "I'll be at ur house at 7 to get ready, can't w8, much fun!!! :) ;)" A winky face, really? I shake my head, but can't help myself to smile. She has no idea how much of a nervous wreak I am just sitting here on a couch, thinking about it. I considered cancelling the event with her, but I always have an uneasy feeling whenever she attends these events alone. So I'll just be the designated driver and fuckboy repellent all night. Sounds like a sensible plan.

I tap another one open, "Hey Kat, meet me at the park as soon as possible." Well, I guess Beau is wanting to talk, considering he does this whenever something is needed to be discussed. Luckily I just got it, so I assume he's already out in the white mess of weather. I gave a short sigh, not really wanting to go out into the cold, but I sent an "Okay, be there shortly." Since it's just a little walk to the park from my apartment. I'll just have to deal with it.

Then lastly it was my mother, the same old worrying she does for me and how I should call more often. Speaking of which, I should give a quick call to her tomorrow so it would ease some of her worrys. I wouldn't want her more stressed than she already is about me, even though I tell her I'm doing fine. It's a mother thing, I think.

Placing the gadget on the side table, I lean my head back onto the couch, my gaze fixated on the white ceiling above. "Everything will be okay..." I spoke aloud to myself as to help encourage some motivation into getting up.