Bird

I wouldnt blame the guy on the other side of the street for looking at me weirdly,

for looking at US weirdly,

because we were doing weird things. 

All in the same, what is your definition of weird?

Were we weird because we're a few college student who- some of us still like high school freshman while some of us look well into our later years of college. We're all college freshman. 

Was it weird because we all had out our expensive cameras that I never thought I would be able to buy before I started college, all surrounding something on the ground in a tight circle on a street corner at 10 o'clock at night.

Or was it weird that when he caught a glimpse of that something, it was a dead pigeon with a large rock, almost a brick, on it's body. 

Maybe the weird look was because even from across the street he felt like if he had decided to cross he would be walking into something sinister, into a place he wasnt supposed to be. Maybe thats why he decided to cross lateral first, then over to our side but still accross the street, only to my right now. 

He looked over and I made eye contact with him and he subsequently walked faster. Mind you this is a black man, in a neighborhood somewhere between mildly safe and extremely dangeerous, on the south side of Chicago at night, frightened by a 5'1 girl with a camera because she was looking at a dead bird. 

I'm sure had anyone else been paying attention instead of snapping photos they would have called him a bitch or thought he was overexaggerating. 

I understood that he wasnt. 

If his survival instinct told him anything it was how to avoid an unsightly situation even if there really was no actual threat to him if he had only walked over here. 

I looked down at the poor bird. Everything looked normal except around where the rock lay the body was swollen I guess you could say, it was the result of the rock squishing the bird, like if you squish your cheeks the untouched part gets fatter. There was a pile of shit behind the bird and it was my understanding that it was there becasue the rock had squeezed it out like toothpaste. While toothpaste is normally white, and so is bird poop, this poop was all brown.  

The rest of the bird, there was no blood, its wings were back, it's eyes were like glass, like marble. Maybe our fascination was firstly, how to you capture a bird, how do you crush it with a rock, why could you crush a bird with a rock. What happened to fight or flight I though that would be especially applicable for a bird. 

I guess the beauty in it was that you dont see dead bird especially not at night on a street corder in a small puddle under a moderate sized rock. I mean even if you're a butcher you don't kill birds with rocks. 

My fascination was something different, something out of a memory, a time before camera phones or at least before I knew or had access to one either way. It wasnt in the street it was in the grass in front of my apartment and my friend's older brother did it. I was young it didnt bother me and I would go as far as to say I though it was cool. Just as cool as the time he dug the deepes hole I had ever seen with a stick straight into the ground in the same spot the bird was before that. 

So.. we took picture of the bird becasue in art anything goes really until someone gets mad about it. It didnt bother us for some reason. It didnt bother me. 

I was excited. I knew something everyone else didnt know, that they would never know, because it was only for me, something I had become used to and learned to anticipate. 

After my first six months of college I would be able to feel like myself again.

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I go Columbia College Chicago. I've lived on Chicago's south side my entire life and I now live in a dorm on campus. I came here to study filmmaking but since im really not binded by any major I have been focusing on photogtaphy since it just feels easier with my everyday life. I managed to get myself a four bedroom dorm all to myself and one other person. We sleep on opposite sides of our dorm and we both use an extra room for whatever we want. We respect eachother and were closer than one would think. 

We have alot of what is usually considered illegal in our dorm. We already had a stove and microwave and full fridge. I own a crockpot, tea maker, and a blowtorch as well as a couple crackhead lighters.

 I have a king sized bed in my room, on of those purple matresses, really easy to get in there, doesnt matter how much room it takes cause I have another room. I'm not gonna sit and list everything but just know there are alot of safety hazards in my dorm and half of it I wouldnt be able to have if I werent the dorm advisor. 

After last night I came homa and uploaded my photos from the day onto my laptop before deleting them from my camera. 

Today I woke up and turned on my oil diffuser and went to my yoga mat to stretch and well do yoga. Afterwards I went to the kitchen and made sausages and a caramel apple milkshake with a little vanilla protein powder mixed in and some frozen milk cubes to keep it cold. 

After eating the sausages I took my milkshake and went down to the gym for a light workout which was really light just a jog and a few weights and box jumps and stuff.

 I came back, took a shower and things, washed my dishes before putting on my clothes. Just some back jogging pants and sweater with no shirt underneath and black air force ones. Chicago peeps dont laugh at me. 

I went to promonitory point which is the lakefront of lake michigan off of lake shore drive but really all you have to do it go to lake park(street) and either catch a bus or walk from there and literally walk under lake shore drive and you're there. 

Well I never made it to the lakefront because in the early morning darkess that was 6am I was snatched and before I could focus my eyes I was asleep.

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___Alright so I dont write stories because I never get past the first chapter buy maybe if I upload this and maybe fix it when I can and stuff and keep moving hopefully people will read it as I go and comment and stuff. 

I hope this actually goes somewhere. 

I know the most general and vague idea of my story but this is honestly more fun than having an idea right now because I can just write. This little first part felt good to write. 

So tell me what you think and vote if you remember to cause I never remember to until and author tells me to.