"Do you love me?..did you miss me Cindy?" Zach's voice pierced through his bedroom breaking the silence other than our mouths gasping for air. He held me close to his chest and rubbed my stomach, calming me after an intense orgasm. That was the first time that Zach and I ever had sex and it was honestly amazing but it also made me feel so wrong. I didn't come here for this, I came here to just comfort him I guess, but this was my fault. I knew this would happen all along, I was just in denial. How could I be so stupid? It felt so good that I felt disappointment in myself, it didn't feel like the right thing at all..
"I think I'm gonna go back home tomorrow" I blurted out aloud. I didn't even try to look at his face because I knew it would make me feel bad. I could tell he was furrowing at me though, and as I turned around he really was. I knew him so well. "What the fuck why?" He asked running his hands through his hair. He propped up on his elbow as I continued to lie next to him. "I don't want to be in the spotlight anymore, I want to be home, going back to my normal life" I said swallowing the ball in the my throat. He sat up angrily. I could tell he was going to give me a lecture about life and how we could fix this, and work our problems out. I think maybe if we didn't have the paparazzi on us 24/7, we actually could be happy together, but that was impossible.
"Cindy, you signed a contract, you have a fan base, people love you.. do you not realize that you are never going to get out of this industry, you are in this forever and it's only going to get bigger" Zach said. He made a very good point but my small town in Connecticut, no one noticed me, no paparazzi. Just my normal life. I can't be noticed here in LA though, the headlines about me are only going to get bigger and people are going to question things and Jill might found out. Jill.. fucking Jill. "I need to get back to my old life, I don't belong here, I should've never came here in the first place" I let out, regretting every word that slipped out, I didn't mean any of it. Zach's eyes softened up, looking at me in hurt. I know he felt like I just stabbed him in the chest right now because that's how I felt too. "I thought you said you wouldn't take back our love for the world.. that you don't regret anything that happened between us, what did you just come here to cum? Why are you here? Why did you use me? Who are you Cindy ? Why..." he kept going on and questioning things as my mind drifted off, I wasn't listening anymore, my vision was getting blurry from the tears forming in my eyes. He was right, who was I? Why exactly am I here? I'd be lying if I said it wasn't for him.. I wish I could take him with me and it'd just be me and him in our own flat and no flashing cameras around us. That was a dream of mine.. that I can't even manifest because it's just too late.
an: thanks for reading !... Zach or Jack ?
