Hellfire and Holy Water (A Good Omens Fanfiction)

Chapter Three

 Crowley had always been rather fascinated with Mary Poppins. She was a whimsical character who whisked children off to fantastic worlds of adventure with just a bit of a magical twist, but there was a bit of mischief about her as well. Well, Crowley may have personally had a hand in the creation of that side of her to begin with, but that was hardly the point. The demon was somewhat inspired by her character when he was deciding how he was going to assume his role as the Antichrist's mentor in the ways of evil. He rather liked her better in the book, though he wasn't much of a book person. If only they hadn't made her so sweet and cute in the movie.

His imitation of the classic nanny from every child's greatest dreams was almost perfect, though, from the instantly recognizable black hat to the stylish flat-bottomed shoes, which were more true to the book. He may have actually looked a bit too much like the fictional icon than he probably should have. Whatever the case, it seemed this would be their only choice for a nanny, as mysteriously not a single other person was there to answer the advert the Dowlings had put in the paper.

It was a bright and sunny day as Nanny Ashtoreth strode along the way toward the looming wooden door at the front of the mansion. Gravel crackled and crunched under his shoes. His fingers tightened slightly around the handle of his umbrella as he stepped up to the door and promptly rang the bell. A short time after the bell let out a loud but not altogether unpleasant melody, the door opened to reveal an elegantly dressed butler.

"I understand you need a nanny," Crowley said matter-of-factly.

The butler nodded and held the door open a bit wider as he mumbled, "Yes, of course, come in." It wasn't his place to say so, but the butler found something deeply unsettling about this character.

A remarkably short time later, there was a knock at the back door, answered by a young woman who had been tasked with finding a new gardener. The previous gardener, a kind old man who always seemed to have a passion for his work, had mysteriously quit for no given reason only a few short days ago.

The woman pulled open the door to reveal what looked to be a batty old man with crooked buck teeth and soft white mutton chops on his cheeks. He turned to face her and removed his brown cap as he gave her a warm smile in greeting, showing off a row of those goofy teeth. He looked a bit odd, she thought, but something about him made her think pleasantly of Santa Claus.

In a thick West Country accent the man said cheerily, "They do say as you might be lookin' for a gardener."

"Why yes, of course," the woman answered with a warm smile of her own. "Come right in Mr..."

"Call me Brother Francis, ma'am," the man told her pleasantly.

~

He didn't look anything like he usually did, but Crowley easily recognized him all the same. Maybe it was because he didn't see exactly the same as humans tend to, or perhaps it was more the innate feeling of something familiarly supernatural nearby that tipped him off instantly to who Brother Francis really was. Not that it really mattered, of course, since their jobs wouldn't interfere with each other anyway, but at least now he knew where the young Warlock would be most vulnerable to the disgusting exposure that was the light.

And, of course, Crowley could "unwittingly" bring Warlock round to such exposure without his side suspecting his treachery. For now, though, the Antichrist was still but a small babe who slept most of the day, leaving the poor nanny with nothing to do most of the time. Still, Crowley was able to fill the child's dreams with glorious nightmares and horrors as he slept. Even there he could sense some resistance though, as every dream he felt being corrupted by pleasant thoughts and happy little daydreams as the angel seemingly had the same idea.