Dream Eater (m|m)

Chapter 18

I'm about to be burned alive by unholy fire, and I feel really sorry for myself. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think he might actually care, or that there was a chance he might--

"Alex," he says again, so soft it hurts. "Please, close your eyes."

If he doesn't want me to watch him kill me, maybe he shouldn't have offered to take the job.

"Do you think he would forgive you?" I ask, voice hoarse with suppressed tears.

The faintest of smiles curves the corners of his mouth.

"For what I'm about to do? Yes. I'm sure he would."

Fine.

My heart breaks, my tears overflow, and I shut my eyes.

Blue fire blazes around me, so bright I can see it through my eyelids.

But it doesn't burn.

A loud rushing sound fills my ears, and I feel a weight on my lungs that cuts off my breath.

Then there's a weird pop like a sudden change in air pressure, and I fall.

It feels like I fall a long way, spinning as I go.

I lose track of time and I drift like a bit of flotsam at sea.

Gradually I come back to myself. I'm no longer falling, and everything is quiet and still.

I blink and open my eyes, and find myself in the strangest place.

I'm lying in Damien's lap. His arms are around me, and he's leaning against the base of a tree, head tilted back and eyes closed. We're in a forest, and it looks like home. It looks like Earth.

He feels me stir and opens his eyes.

"You're awake," he smiles. "Is your vision okay?"

I nod, and suddenly I feel really stupid. "You crossed realms again," I say, stating the obvious.

He nods.

"You didn't kill me."

"Of course not. Did you really think I would?" He looks genuinely surprised.

"Yes, I fucking thought you would!" I snap. And then, because I'm dramatic that way, I throw my arms around him and start crying.

He holds me, waiting patiently while I sob and shake and drip tears on his shoulder. When I'm all cried out, I release him and wipe my face.

"Sorry. I really thought I was gonna die."

"Alex...I'm the one who should be sorry. If you really thought that, then I haven't been clear with you. I know Sakariel is gone. The love I felt for him, and the pain of losing him, will never truly fade. But he isn't coming back. He's gone. You're here. I hope you can forgive me for seeing him in you, but I also see you for yourself. I see Alex. And...I love him."

"You said that was impossible," I counter. "You said you couldn't love me."

He leans forward and kisses me between the eyes.

"I lied. I don't sleep with people I don't love," he says.

The tears threaten to return, so I force my mind towards more practical matters.

"Where are we?"

"Earth. The Pacific coast of North America. Another dead zone." Damien's voice is gentle and quiet, like he's speaking from a place of deep peace.

"What about...the rebellion?" I ask. "What about all your old friends, and Azael, and the Key and the Abyss, and...everything?"

He shakes his head. "We're done with that," he says. "I'm finished with wars. With cosmic struggles. I'm on my own side now. I'm with you."

His arms tighten around me.

After a minute, he sighs.

"People say I led Sakariel to ruin, but it was always him leading me. I would have followed him to Hell. In the end, I did. But he had his own guiding star, and it wasn't me. It was his ideals, his...destiny. I believed in our cause, of course," he says. "But all I really wanted was to be with him, and for him to be...happy."

I think back on all the dreams I've seen, and I can't remember Sakariel every really smiling. Then again, all I saw were Damien's nightmares. I'm sure they had lots of happy moments together, too.

Still, it makes me a little sad, and I lay my head on his chest. Partly because I want to comfort him, and partly because I feel exhausted. I've gotten used to the feeling of jumping between realms, but it leaves me drained anyway.

"Alex?"

"Mm?"

"I'm sorry you thought I was going to kill you."

"Pfft," I laugh.

"Do you want to go home?"

I look up at him. "Are you kidding me?"

He shakes his head. "No. This dead zone is the closest. It'll take a while, but we can be back in the city in a few hours if we can get someone to give us a ride."

"What about...Oran. Won't he follow us?"

"He has no idea where I went. As long as I don't use my power, no one will find me."

I'm not totally sure I believe him, but I really want to.

~xxx~

Several hours and a ride in the cab of a logging truck later, we reach the outskirts of the city. Somehow, Damien has managed to hold on to his human wallet, and gets us a taxi. When we pull up in front of his apartment building, I pause.

"Azael's people--"

"--Will not have waited here for days on the off chance that I might return. We'll be safe here. At least for the moment."

I follow him inside and have a weird sense of déjà vu as we ride the private elevator up to his penthouse suite.

I'm too tired for much more than a shower and bed, but he stays with me all the way. When I fall back onto the soft mattress, feeling warm and clean and happy to be alive, he falls with me.

He kisses me almost chastely, his lips barely brushing mine. I say 'almost' because the look in his eyes is anything but.

"Let me do something for you," he says.

"Like what?" I ask, squirming as his fingers brush the ticklish skin below my ribs.

His hands move to the band of the borrowed briefs I'm wearing and slowly pull them down.

Leaving a trail of kisses, he makes his way down to where I now ache with need and takes me in his mouth.

Several intense minutes later, I lie gasping and spent, and taste myself on his lips as he makes his way back up my body and kisses my mouth.

I can feel his own need pressing against my thigh. "What about you?" I ask. "I'll--" He cuts me off with another kiss.

"No," he says. "Not tonight. That was just for you."

"Damien..."

Once more, he silences me with his lips.

"Alex. I told you once that I'm sworn to protect the Key. That I'd do everything in my power to protect it, and destroy anyone or anything that tried to take it away from me. But that's not why I'm doing this. And maybe this is history repeating itself. Maybe I'm damned a thousand times over for it. But I don't love you because you're a part of him. I love you because...you're you. My little demon. My dream-eater."

He searches my eyes. 

"Please, Alex--say you're mine."

I look up at him, heart wavering on the edge of a knife. On either side lie abysses of unknown depth. I'm going to lose my balance either way, so I pick one.

"I'm yours," I say.