bully | JAEYONG

16 | DATE (part 2)

"you... you know i do like you a lot, right?"

taeyong, still not breaking eye contact with the brown haired boy, nodded his head slightly, enough for jaehyun to understand that the other knew his feelings.

"even after knowing i like you, why do you still talk to me? usually, people get ignored by their crush after confessing and things turn awkward," jaehyun said with much curiosity in his voice.

"its just knowing that fact that... our emotions can't be controlled. no matter how much we want to control our emotions, we can't control them. if doyoung, fo example, had a crush on me and confessed, i wouldn't avoid him because... well, first, i wouldn't return his feelings. second, due to the fact that i don't return his feelings, his crush is going to go away eventually, meaning if i had avoided him and stopped being his friend, i would've lost a very good friend for no reason when he moved on.

"it's just a matter of knowing that emotions can't be controlled to that extent, and a matter of knowing that the only way things get awkward is if you make it awkward," taeyong explained his reasoning to jaehyun. the taller of the two nodded his head in understanding and looked away for a split second before looking into taeyong's beautiful orbs once again.

"taeyong..." jaehyun started carefully, to which the other party hummed in response. "do you... do you... return my feelings?"

silence was shared between the two after jaehyun asked that question, not awkward silence, not comfortable silence, just silence. as the two looked into each other's eyes, jaehyun slowly but surely began to lean forward towards taeyong, while the red haired boy became lost in thought.
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"do you like jaehyun?" guanheng asked taeyong after the red haired boy took a seat on his bed.

after hearing that question come out of guanheng's mouth, taeyong's first immediate response would've been, "no! what the hell?!"

taeyong opened his mouth to say just that, but before the boy could respond, guanheng told taeyong, "think about it carefully before you respond, hyung."

which made taeyong close his mouth. spending some time to think about guanheng's question, the chinese boy patiently awaited his hyung's answer.

anyone could tell that guanheng isn't in any way teasing taeyong or even joking; the chinese boy was being serious about the question he asked. it wasn't because taeyong was being obvious or anything, but it was because of why taeyong had said yes to jaehyun when he asked to hang out. the red haired boy hadn't even forgiven the other party completely for what he did, and yet, taeyong still hangs out with jaehyun and even agreed on going on a date with him.

after about eight minutes of silence inside the room, with both souls that were present thinking deeply, taeyong finally opened his mouth to respond to guanheng's question.

"i... i don't know..." the red haired boy said slowly, catching the attention of his roommate. the chinese boy didn't say anything, however. he waited patiently for taeyong to continue speaking, knowing that there was going to be some kind of explanation, and sure enough, a couple minutes later, taeyong began speaking again.

"i don't know if... if i have feelings for jaehyun. sure, he bullied me and everything, but after we started hanging out more, i began to... i don't know... long for him?

"i mean, i don't get butterflies in my stomach or my heart doesn't start racing whenever i'm around him, but when we hang out, it's the greatest feeling ever, and whenever we have to part ways for any reason, i suddenly feel as if something is missing inside... i suddenly feel... empty, as if i had just lost my other half.