trapped | chaos walking

three. hope

I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes for a second.

"I am going to be okay. I am going to be okay," I said aloud.

At times like these, okay, well, not at times like this, but when I get scared or feel like I'm losing control, it calms me down to talk to myself.

Weird, I know. But, hey, if it helps me, then I'll keep doing it for as long as it takes.

"You've seen enough shows and movies to know how to get through this. You know how to live in the woods, you've gone camping before, you know how to hunt... oh thank god, I learned how to do all this."

I opened my eyes again, finding myself to be looking up at a beautiful sunrise.

"Oh wow," I breathed out, smiling for the first time since I've been here. The sky was streaked with orange, yellow, and blue. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and surprisingly, there weren't any chirps of birds or noises of any type of animal to be heard.

I took in the beautiful sunrise, just laying there and enjoying the beauty and peace of nature. If I weren't in this situation right now, I'd be happy to be here. Maybe when I get out... if I get out... I can go camping more.

When, if... I shook my head, trying to escape the negative thoughts coming into my brain. "No," I said firmly, "I'm getting out of here. I. Am. Getting. Out. Of. Here." And with that, I decided to get up while there was light. The more land I can cover, the better.

Tugging on my backpack straps, I got up and headed a random direction, hoping that it would lead me to someplace safe. I traveled for a while, keeping track of time. Well, more like making guesses of what time it was, using the sun. It was about afternoon (I guess) when I stopped for another break, feeling hungry and sore. I could go for a few weeks without food, but only a few days without water. I checked my water bottle to see how much I had left. I wasn't surprised, but nonetheless disappointed to find out that I only had about a quarter of my water left.

I groaned inwardly, my stomach rumbling. "I can do this," I muttered to myself, trying to keep up my confidence.

At least I had some sort of idea of where I was. Having that piece of information calmed me down a little bit. Obviously, I was in the book. The last part I had read was when the main character, Todd, found the other main character, Viola. My safest bet is that I'm in the woods outside of the town Todd ran away from. Which means, if I keep going, I'll either hit the town or just walk even further away from it, losing myself in these woods.

The good news is, the people here, the boys, they have this thing called Noise. If I get close to a town, or to anyone who's a male, I'll be able to hear them, even if they aren't talking. I don't completely understand what this Noise thing is, or the entire story of this book, but I do know that a lot of bad things happen and I do NOT wanna be here to find out what there are. I'll be happy to read about it from the comforts of my bed, with cold water and food.

The thought of me getting out of this place and being back home with my family gave me a surge of energy, and I pushed myself to keep going.

Oh, god, how long will I have been missing from the real world? Or does time move differently? What if when I get out of here, years and years have passed? Or maybe time won't move at all?

I blocked those thoughts out of my head. "I'll just find out when I get out," I said confidently, pushing bushes as tall as me out of my way. I walked and walked and walked until, finally, I found something.

There's a whole bunch of burned trees. They seemed freshly burned, with scorch marks. Fallen trees scattered around the place, and they even filled up what I assumed was a swamp. Water surrounded it, but so did dirt and plants and wood. It seemed as if there was a ditch, a huge ditch, in the middle of all the chaos.

I walked closer to the ditch, seeing the sun reflect off of something that laid there. It was something big, something metal. I came even closer to inspect it, finding logs that were somewhat still on fire, smoke faintly coming from them. The big piece of metal, which I assume is a spaceship, looked banged up, as if a giant took it in its hands and crumpled it up. Parts of it were burned and squeezed together.

I coughed at the smell of everything, the burning metal, the smoke that was still emitting from the wreckage, and... and...

I gagged almost immediately after laying my eyes on the two bodies that lay on the floor, skin burned beyond recognition. My eyes watered as bile made its way up my throat and I eventually threw up on the side of the ship. My throat was stinging and my eyes watered up so much from the smoke, the smell of my throw up, and the thought of the two bodies that lay just a few feet away from me that a few tears rolled down my face. I was breathing heavily, trying to calm myself down. I took out my water bottle and took a small gulp of water, washing out my throat and mouth from that horrible aftertaste of barf.

I worked up the courage to walk over to the two bodies, making sure not to touch them. One of them, a male, was burned crisp from the chest down. His face had burns, but not enough that it wasn't hard to see he was a man. A large wound was seen on his forehead that I'm sure would've killed him if he hadn't been burned. The second body, female, was all burnt up too, but there was a huge gash on her body. No blood visible, to me, at least, and I assumed that something happened inside her body. I didn't want to stay here, but I didn't want to leave. I could at least stay here, maybe. Maybe Todd and Viola will find this place, and I can join them, or maybe they can help me out. Either way, I'm not leaving.

I stayed near the wreckage sight for the rest of the day, which wasn't that bad. The sun got brighter and brighter, making it hotter and hotter. The fallen trees provided some shade, which was helpful. Anytime I got up to scout the area, or to find any animals to hunt and eat (which was stupid, seeing as I didn't have any weapons to hunt with. I did get a metal rod from the wreckage, though), I always made sure that either a part of the ship or the smoke was still visible to me.

I tested out my "skills," per se, and tried to make makeshift weapons that I could hunt with. I didn't have a knife, so I couldn't cut wood to make a bow (like Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, one of my favorite book and movie series), and I definitely didn't have any arrows.

I also attempted to start a fire, climb trees, and threw rocks at trees, practicing my aim. If I was gonna go venture out here, without weapons, the least I could have are rocks.

Even though I saw something terrible, today ended up being a successful day. Soon, my second night here began as the Sun went down rather quickly, a dark blanket settling over the sky. I can't tell, but I think tonight was darker than last night, the moonlight barely coming in through the trees. I felt as if my eyes were closed. I couldn't see five feet in front of me, which worried me a bit, but not that much. Not like I was going to go out, right?

My eyelids started to feel heavy and I was suddenly aware of how tired I felt, how sore my arms were from throwing rocks, my legs from climbing trees, and my mind from thinking too much about how to escape this book. I let the sounds of the wind, and a few birds, here and there, lull me to sleep, my consciousness drifting away slowly.