The Second Coming

Chapter 1: Harry Falls Asleep

“You really wanna start somethin’ with me, ya little bitch? I’m six foot nine and four hundred pounds.”

“Not on yo knees, you ain’t!”

Borris Galvanich proceeded to knock over a group of men twice his size with ease on the television screen as I sat down on the couch by myself with a bowl of popcorn, watching him with a fixed attentiveness. It was Friday night and I was yet again by myself with nothing to do except watch old kung-fu movies no one had ever heard about. Victor and Khali had been gone for hours. At this point they had to be on their way back. It was three in the morning already. Unless they found a hotel…

As if on cue, both of them walked through the door, right as Borris finished putting the smack down on the last of the Pro Wrestling Nazi’s.

“Damn, Vic, you’re driving a van down the highway, not racing the Indie Five-Hundred.”

“Haha, well, I’m getting a Mitsubishi next week, I have to get in the zone, you know?” Both of them plopped down on either side of me and reflexively dug into my bowl of popcorn.

“Yo, Harry,” said Victor, “Whatcha watchin’?”

“Revenge of the Dragon Fist,” I said, eyeing him, trying to give them my best leave-me-alone-with-my-hokey-kung-fu-flick looks.

“Dragon Fist movies,” Khali said approvingly, “Gotta love ‘em.”

“Borris Galvanich is a beast,” Victor replied. I sighed in defeat. Looks were as far as I could get with them. I was being forced into the position of a third wheel on an unexpected house movie-date.

“I take it your little night on the town didn’t go as well as expected?” I asked Victor.

“Nope. Khali went on one of her lucky winning streaks at the casino again. We started getting eyes on us, so we had to take our cash and split.”

“So they’re catching on to her, eh?” I received a swift punch from Khali on my arm.

We spent the next forty-five minutes watching the rest of the Dragon Fist movie, with occasional commentary from Victor about how fake the props were in a 1980’s movie.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Victor said as soon as the credits started rolling, “Your parents called earlier today. Said they wanted you to visit.”

“Again?” I sighed.

“It’s not like you have anything better to do, right? You get three days off a week on a full salary. Your poor old man misses you. More than I can say for my family.”

“That’d be the third night this week, Vic. That’s my third night off.”

“Fine, don’t visit them. But you know, your folks aren’t the only ones who would appreciate you going out.” He started to give me the waggly-eyebrow look which usually meant, I could really use some alone time with Khali.

It usually follows with him paying half my rent in appreciation services, and when I don’t, he has me on “quiet time.” Which means I don’t talk to him for a whole day. Honestly, it’s hard to choose between the two sometimes. This time, though, I went for the rent.

“Whatever, I’ll go.”

“That a’ boy,” he said, patting me on the back.

“Yeah, I’ll start giving you two your alone time right now.” I got up and left for my bedroom while he gave me these confused stutters at my abrupt departure. And he didn’t take note of my heavy sarcasm until he found Khali drooling in her sleep on his lap. I pretended not to notice his, Don’t leave my like this! puppy eyes as I left.