As Naruto woke up, he found himself chained to a... Something. A table? Bed made of rock? He wasn't really sure. He craned his neck, looking around. Where was he?!
His stomach growled.
He was hungry.
"Ramen..." Naruto said out loud, before starting to thrash against his chains.
Suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him. "Naruto," the voice said.
Naruto once again craned his neck as he looked behind him. There, Tsunade stood, arms crossed, an ANBU at each side. Naruto stopped thrashing against his chains.
"Tsunade? I... RAMEN!" Naruto shouted.
Tsunade nodded her head, trying to act as calmly as possible, knowing from years of being a medic-nin, this was the best way to act around someone who was showing psychotic conditions. "Naruto, I have decided to allow you to have ramen. But you must not let anyone know. Do you understand? Right now, I have some ANBU preparing you ramen. So sit tight."
Naruto nodded enthusiastically, causing the chains to jingle.
"Hey, ramen-chan, they're gonna give us some ramen!" Naruto said happily to himself.
Tsunade's eyes narrowed. There it was again, that name. Ramen-chan. But hopefully, Naruto having ramen again will put him back to normal. She had gotten her ANBU to prepare a humongous portion of ramen (almost a bathtub full!) Until it was finished, she would stay with Naruto. All she had to do was keep this a secret from the elders, until she could find a better plan.
xxXxx
Danzo was standing in his underground grand hallway of ROOT, hand on cane, eyepatch over eye, when he sensed one of his agents approach the door.
"Come in," he ordered.
The root agent silently slid through the door. "Reports, sir."
Danzo gave a slight nod. "Report."
"Sir, while undercover I found out that Tsunade is planning to feed Naruto some ramen."
Danzo frowned. This could ruin his plan. He should have known that Tsunade would do something like this. But if Naruto ate ramen...
He knew what had to be done.
"Rat, I need you to do something..." Danzo ordered.
As Danzo gave the order, the agent's eye's widened.
"Make sure it goes into the ramen. Understood?"
"But sir, if you do that, Naruto, the jinchuuriki, will-!"
"I know. All according to plan."
The agent nodded, before setting off to do his duty.
After all, a ROOT's gotta do what a ROOT's gotta do.
xxXxx
Three ANBU stood awkwardly in a kitchen, waiting for their commander. He had left for ramen ingredients, he said. They had been ordered by the hokage to make a giant bowl of ramen the size of a bathtub. As ninja, their cooking skills weren't exactly great -during missions they mostly ate ration bars- and so they hoped that their commander knew how to cook!
Just then, an ANBU flew through the window. He had an ANBU mask of a rat, and carried multiple bags of ingredients in each arm.
"Hai, Rat-sama," they each greeted.
The undercover agent nodded, before setting the ingredients down.
For these ninja, cooking a giant ramen was perhaps the hardest mission in their life.
"We need boiling water!" The captain yelled.
"Yes, chief!" Said two of the ANBU, before yelling out jutsu's in synchronization.
"Water jet jutsu!"
"Fire ball jutsu!"
Two huge huge and destructive jutsu's flew across the kitchen.
"YOU IDIOTS, YOU'RE DESTROYING THE KITCHEN!" Yelled the third ANBU.
"Okay, I need these veggies cut up!" Yelled the captain.
A swarm of kunai and a dangerous looking wind jutsu flew towards the vegetables, embedding the kunai's and veggies into the wall, while the wind jutsu tore down half of the counter.
"YOU IDIOTS, YOU DON'T USE KUNAI AND FREAKING JUTSU TO COOK! YOU'RE DESTROYING THE KITCHEN!" the third ANBU yelled.
"Ok, I need some meat!" Yelled the captain.
"SUMMONING JUTSU!" Yelled an ANBU.
"FIREBALL JUTSU!" Yelled the second.
The the third ANBU looked on in horror as he saw his teammates roast their own summon for meat, effectively scorching the kitchen.
"YOU IDIOTS, YOU JUST KILLED YOUR OWN SUMMON! THIS IS COOKING, WE'RE NOT IN A NINJA BATTLE!" The third ANBU yelled.
"We need the noodle dough thawed!" Shouted the commander.
"YES SIR!" Two ANBU yelled, before sending a variety of chakra powered punches and kicks along with a fire jutsu towards the partly frozen dough.
The third ANBU stared as they sent chunks of dough flying in every direction from their chakra punches, and scorched the room with their fire jutsu. Pieces of goopy dough stuck on the ceiling and walls, occasionally falling down to the floor.
"YOU IDIOTS! WE HAVE A MICROWAVE! STOP WITH THE JUTSU!" The third ANBU yelled.
"We need a giant bowl!" Yelled the captain.
"Earth jutsu!" An ANBU yelled, forming a giant ramen bowl, while also taking out half the kitchen.
The third ANBU started twitching. "YOU IDIOT, HALF THE KITCHEN IS-"
He stopped for a second, as he inspected the bowl.
"Wow, what jutsu was that, it was actually pretty cool!"
Alas, a few more torrents of kunai, jutsu, chakra powered kicks, and quite a lot of yelling later, the ANBU were left with an utterly destroyed kitchen and a giant bowl of ramen.
"That will be all for today, I will deliver the ramen personally. Just make sure you clean yourselves off," said the root agent, undercover as a ANBU agent.
The three ANBU looked down at their uniforms, which were scorched, splattered with their summon's blood, and covered with ramen.
"Yes sir!" They yelled. They would definitely need to get cleaned off, who knew cooking was so gory?
The undercover agent watched them leave, before pulling out a storage scroll and unsealing some jugs that Danzo had given him. He began to pour the contents into the giant bowl of ramen, and black, evil-looking, menacing liquid made black clouds within the ramen, twisting and twirling until all of the ramen broth was a near-black.
It smelled awful.
The ROOT agent shuddered slightly, wondering just WHAT Danzo was planning.
