but
the words i love you
they come so close
to coming out
they bubble in my throat
like fizzy soda,
coca cola that we shared
with her name on it
perfectly branded,
perfect moment
i let it slip and
i immediately think:
how could i ruin it?
how could i ruin it?
she says i love you back, but it's different
you don't get it i say you don't get it, do you?
because i love her like flowers in the spring
and
i want to scream
how i'm caught in her love
like a black hole, like a riptide
all encompassing, enigmatic
it swallows me up
and spits me out whole
over and over and over again
i want to scream
when she doesn't say anything
(please say something)
instead she regards me
curiously, carefully, confused
says sorry
and i think she really means it
i think she really means it
as she bikes home ahead
and leaves me in the dust.
it's the end of our summer adventure
and it's all my fault.
